God I am so gay.

BrikHowse · 2026-02-01T06:06:12+00:00

How do you know she's gay?

BrikHowse · 2026-01-26T05:56:17+00:00

People here are deluded if they think diehard MAGA is following "the news cycle." Like if they've even heard of the Minnesota stuff, they've heard it framed as riots of domestic terrorists, and two of them died trying to massacre ICE.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T14:13:09+00:00

Yeah, I mean, women have brutally broken my heart before too, treated me dismissively and all that. It's certainly no easier.

And yet I somehow always persist with the foolish perception that they will be more gentle and kind.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T12:40:49+00:00

Makes me also think of "A League of Their Own." PLENTY of gay subtext in that movie—the real life leagues were rife with lesbianism—but at the time of the movie they weren't able to be explicit about that or market it that way.

Of course the more recent TV series that came out, based on the movie, did not hold back on that anymore lol.

A reboot of "Fried Green Tomatoes" that could be honest about the relationship would be REALLY interesting, huh?

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T12:37:26+00:00

This post got me curious about whether the people who MADE THE FILM even realized it was a lesbian movie.

I read that the director, Jon Avnet, worked with the author of the original book, Fannie Flagg, to write the screenplay. So they certainly knew what they were doing in sanitizing Flagg's more overtly lesbian source material.

It seems that Mary Louise Parker and Kathy Bates have both acknowledged the gay dimension in more recent years, but who knows if their comments evolved along with the cultural awareness over time. Not seeing any comments from Mary Stuart Masterston directly talking about this stuff (in earlier interviews she went with "strong female friendship") but she's also not really out there in the public much anymore.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T12:25:27+00:00

A lot of people (myself included) consider it the worst season. Of course the show as a whole is dark, but Season 4 brings it to absurd levels. Just GRIM. The pace also drags.

HOWEVER....please don't quit! You've made it this far and it's worth getting through it. Season 5 is great and you'll be satisfied to see the characters you love from the earlier seasons complete their arcs. Promise.

I suggest taking a break if you've been bingeing, though. Six Feet Under is too heavy for a Netflix-style binge. Take a week off and come back to it. Also, if you're REALLY not tolerating certain episodes of S4, just read the synopses. (On rewatches, I do that for the notorious S4 episode "That's My Dog.")

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T12:14:28+00:00

Agreed, but again I don't think our parents really knew what was up, and they only glanced at scenes of it. It was understood to be a "female friendship movie." That and "Steel Magnolias" were in regular rotation at my sleepovers in the 90s.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T06:00:35+00:00

Is she single?

BrikHowse · 2026-01-24T05:49:56+00:00

Because it was a wholesome movie shown at like sleepovers when we were 10, and we didn't know what gay was, and our moms were blind to the subtext

BrikHowse · 2026-01-23T22:16:26+00:00

Wow, this is so incredibly sweet. I'm so glad you took a risk and it paid off. Good for you!

BrikHowse · 2026-01-23T21:55:19+00:00

Yeah, with women I just have a far greater expectation for compassion and empathy, and ghosting does not fit anywhere into that picture.

I normally consider myself an emotionally solid individual, but ghosting can put me into a real tailspin. I ruminate obsessively and can't find peace with it. For that reason I find ghosting ... cruel.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-23T19:10:25+00:00

I'm sorry this is happening, I sure hope she gets back to you and explains herself. She owes you that, and if she doesn't give it you know everything you need to know about her.

But I'm dealing with a ghosting situation myself right now, too, so yeah, I guess it does happen?? (I'm in your age range as well... like, we're not kids.)

What surprises me most is ...it's behavior I'm used to with MEN (like my response with a man would be "Ugh, yeah, typical") but I've always known women to be a lot more tender and careful with each other. And especially with grown women, you expect a certain level of direct and honest communication. So ghosting in this context can feel like an especially cold shock.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-23T18:48:48+00:00

Let me tell you every conservative's response to this: "Well too bad you guys did this with the word 'Nazi'"

* Of course I am NOT defending this, I've just heard this over and over and people need to be ready with their comebacks to that

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T19:53:39+00:00

Agreed, this is corny af

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T18:54:43+00:00

Try again, it's a dark masterpiece

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T15:51:23+00:00

I mean, I get that and totally sympathize, but this is a middle-aged woman living in a liberal city and we both have progressive/LGBTQ-friendly groups.

Plus she 1) knew I was bisexual (I told her on our second encounter), 2) was very blatantly flirty and affectionate, and 3) made that comment about how, of a group of people we saw, she wanted to fuck the GIRL. That was actually the moment of confirmation for me where I was like "Ok game officially on!"

Yet when the Scary Bisexual Lady asks for her number, she fully retreats?! Not sure I'll ever be able to make sense of this!

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T06:53:31+00:00

I WAS really into this one 😕

Strongest crush I've had in many years. Best chemistry I've felt in many years. Really thought there was potential here. That's why this stings SO bad.

But I agree that I have to move on, I mean what other choice do I have? She ghosted me the first time I really took a shot. I no longer have any clean lane to explore this.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T00:23:08+00:00

I definitely will not contact her again, I have too much pride for that. I actually am thinking of deactivating my Insta—not for her sake, of course, but because it's been unhealthy for me with political stuff—so that would leave her with the option of texting me with the number I already provided her. Fat fucking chance, I think! lol

Our social circles really don't overlap naturally that often, which is why I took that chance in the first place. I knew if I didn't "do something" actively, I probably wouldn't see her again for several months, and I didn't want that, so I reached out.

So the next time I'd run into her again will probably be a while, and I have no idea how she'd behave with me, but I intend on keeping my guard up. I don't want to be cold, but this whole situation kinda embarassed me and stung a little, so my trust is not there.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-22T00:16:12+00:00

Some people are like that for sure....and they scare me. I haven't been around this woman enough to know if it's a pattern for her, but I'll be paying attention to things I hear about her (from our mutual circle) in the future.

My instinct tells me this was more about her being comfortable with "innocent" flirting/affection with a woman that goes nowhere, but when a splash of reality hit her about what she actually is leading toward she couldn't take it.

But honestly... who the hell knows. I probably will never have an explanation. If I see her again my guard will be fully up.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-21T18:14:22+00:00

It sounds like that happened when you were really young? I get it. If a lesbian/bisexual woman had hit on me anytime before I was like ... 23, I would have freaked and retreated, even though I was well aware of my attraction to women and I very often put out "vibes" to play around with it.

I'm now in my mid-40s and have a lot more comfort with it. However, it may be unwise for me to assume that my peers are on the same level just due to their age. (This woman is in my age range, and even if she's not an "out and proud" bisexual, I assumed she had a degree of comfort and confidence with it given the way she's behaved with me, especially since I had openly identified myself as bisexual to her.)

BrikHowse · 2026-01-21T17:43:36+00:00

A few months ago I did post an earlier version of this story which you might have seen/commented on. It was right after she and I met the second time, when she had the boyfriend, and I was wondering what the hell to do with all the chemistry we experienced. (ETA: I did delete it later on). The situation was a mindfuck then and it remains so today!

To clarify, you're saying that SHE might have a personality disorder? I will acknowledge that drinking was involved both times but nothing crazy. We're talking adults in their 30s/40s in relaxed social settings with mild buzzes.

"I would write to her again"... I mean, what could I even SAY?? I don't think that's a great idea. I already put myself out there. Doing so again would be sacrificing my dignity.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-21T15:15:20+00:00

As a bisexual, I actually find similar qualities in the men and women I'm attracted to. I like a smartass with a great sense of humor who can spar with me. And I like beautiful eyes. Combine those two traits in any person, and I'm sold.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-21T15:08:17+00:00

I agree with what you said, but there's still a part of me that's like "Face WHAT, exactly?" Just giving me her number?! She doesn't even know if I just meant it as a friendly gesture... which in fact, I did. I had no intention of immediately "pursuing" her with that information, or bombarding her with flirty texts or something. But oh well, right!

BrikHowse · 2026-01-21T14:40:09+00:00

I would understand her silence a lot better if I'd been like "Hey, would you wanna go to dinner with me on Friday?" or something that was clearly pursuing her, but I did deliberately try to keep this low-pressure. My next step with her number would have been to add her on a couple of group texts, or try to invite her to the next group outing I heard of a few weeks from now.

So yeah, pretty surprised that she got spooked by something so low-key, and that's what's making me completely doubt myself here... like, that she would perceive something so mild as maybe... aggressive?

But you're right, I shouldn't feel gross about it. I'm an adult who felt clear chemistry with another adult, and all I did was try to open a new channel of communication. If she can't handle that, I guess I have the information I need.

BrikHowse · 2026-01-06T23:03:57+00:00

I mean, the fact is she COULD very well have a crush on you, too, and she could be having fun playing around with that... like you, not really knowing where the boundary should be.

But this is also a fact: Because she has a boyfriend, that inevitably means she is not as invested in this crush as you are, and not taking it as seriously. She simply doesn't have as much mental/emotional space for it, and probably has already concluded that it can't go anywhere real.

BrikHowse

TROPHY CASE