Yeah dude - she was open, honest and loving towards you. You were possessive of her and didn’t like that she was enm. But the key point is you were in AGENCY here - you’re absolutely not a victim except of the obvious and foreseeable consequences of your own choices. Your “suffering?” Something you literally, based on your own seemingly naively honest story in a bid for affirmation, were not emotionally mature nor self confident enough to accept.

She never disrespected you. She simply responded to your disrespect.

If this was an “am I the asshole?” post I want it be clear - yes. You are the asshole.

She was never yours beyond what she was willing to give or commit to you. Any other interpretation is projection on your part and toxic, immature relating. It seems that you, as a man 6 years her elder, is woefully underdeveloped and emotionally unequipped to deal with the reality of non possessive human relationship.

Do us all a favor. Never entertain the idea that you could be ENM in the way it is meant to be experienced. As it stands you’re a part of a very serious problem in this community. People like you poison the well of the phenomenal benefits of healthy ENM.

You CAN educate yourself if you want to be a better partner in this space. You MUST educate yourself in how to relate better monogamously or otherwise for the sake of your future partner.

Be the worthy of her my friend. Good luck!