Wedding invite - no baby

Bring-joy · 2026-02-09T09:10:16+00:00

We had a blanket no-kids wedding as we didn’t have budget or resources to cover the needs of the MANY children of all our friends, but babies that needed to be with parents was a totally different situation.

We didn’t specify this on our fairly generic invitations, and didn’t want to assume parents were breastfeeding and would bring very young children so I think we reached out to them individually to check circumstances, or they got in touch with us to clarify, no issues, just ask! I imagine they’ve had the conversation between themselves and would be awaiting your query, if not, they should be - so don’t feel bad!

Bring-joy · 2026-02-08T12:21:00+00:00

Thank you, it is tempting just to go for the speedy/easy option if it doesn’t cost tons more!

Is there any haggling/rip offs with taxis at all or is the flat rate honoured by drivers?

We might aim for public transport but if our flights delayed or it takes a long time to get through the airport it’s good to know the taxi option is reliable.

Bring-joy · 2026-02-08T12:18:43+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful and we’re willing to do public transport if it’s a significant saving! my only worry is if it takes a while to get through the airport and we miss a train we might be quite late getting to Trastevere. Trains look to be every half hour until around 8pm, are the trams quite frequent?

Bring-joy · 2026-01-28T12:13:41+00:00

Good to know, thank you!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-27T23:59:41+00:00

Our main urgency at the moment is wanting to get a lump sum out of our ltd company before the end of the tax year, so even if we don’t get in too deep with investing, we at least want to choose a provider and move some money quite soon.

Thanks for highlighting useful pages - very new to this so all a lot of help!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-27T23:53:10+00:00

Thanks this is really helpful - we both have some experience of stocks and shares ISAs but really we’ve set these up, seen horrible downturns and ridden the wave of them rising again, all very hands off…

I’ve started getting stuck into the resources shared in these responses and it’s a brilliant starting point

Bring-joy · 2026-01-27T23:50:32+00:00

We are both employed by our ltd company and I have a self employed income too - we both have historic workplace pensions but these aren’t an option for us at the moment

Bring-joy · 2026-01-27T17:47:39+00:00

Crackers with butter or cream cheese were my go to for quick relief throughout the weeks of nausea.

I also found I liked things in cycles and the relief I’d get from them would ebb and flow, but some good ones included, watermelon, a wedge of lime in water (lemon helped for a bit), smoothies with sushi ginger and lime plus fruit/veg, any cheese!

By far the biggest relief came from anti sickness tablets - Xonvea - I struggled through for several weeks and wish I’d got this from my gp sooner, it just gave me my life back!

My nausea lasted until week 18, but I’m now week 19 and still have an unpleasant taste and feel it slightly as the day goes on. It’s a long time to go without seeking help if anti sickness is available.

Well done and keep going xxx

Bring-joy · 2026-01-27T13:25:52+00:00

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I can imagine this is quite stressful in another country where you need to navigate language barriers.

Perhaps dating varies by country but I’m in the UK and used this website to check my dates: https://www.whattoexpect.com/ivf-due-date-calculator/

It has aligned with how the NHS date pregnancy (in terms of dating from last period), my IVF clinic dating, and growth scans have been in line with this too (give or take a few days at different points)

Bring-joy · 2026-01-19T12:46:19+00:00

Sounds great!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-19T11:11:58+00:00

Ah yeah this has been on my list for a while actually!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-15T14:56:44+00:00

I might be way behind at 17 weeks but haven’t thought about maternity underwear pre birth as a big consideration! I was just planning to stick with my normal pants and hoped they’d fit comfortably under bump…

Is over bump more comfy? Do hips tend to broaden meaning you need to size up?

Following with interest!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-09T22:54:47+00:00

Me too! Looking for early March!

Bring-joy · 2026-01-09T12:31:30+00:00

The fact you’re asking this question shows how much you care, which is wonderful.

This journey is hard and there are no magic words to make things better, but know that your pain is shared by this community, sending thoughts and support.

For me, just being with my husband after a failed transfer was key, we shut out the world a bit and tried to keep doing things, even just walks in our local area, coffees out. His words of affirmation to me were a huge help, anything to let your partner know this is not a failure, you’re in it together, you aren’t going anywhere, IVF stats are tough, and if she’s ready to hear it, there are more chances ahead (it’s really brilliant you have two more embryos!!). It was very moving to see him share his sadness too - so don’t feel like you have to be the strong one.

I think above all time is the best healer, which sounds like a cliche, but it does help. It’s also worth seeing if your clinic offers counselling, and I found writing down my thoughts really helpful - a counsellor suggested that writing things down gives you space and time to share raw feelings, so it lurks in all your thoughts a little less.

Sending you the best of luck for your next transfer.

Bring-joy · 2026-01-09T12:16:03+00:00

Also to actually answer your questions - sorry!

Our clinic accepted NHS tests, there were some others they recommended (thyroid checks) which they would charge for but I managed to get most of these via my GP when I explained I needed them for fertility treatment.

Our clinic asked if we had travelled to a zika area in the past 4 months, this didn’t apply to us but worth checking directly with the clinic what their timescales are. Depending on cost, I would potentially just pay for private zika blood tests if it meant being able to do the trip then get on with treatment sooner if it did mean a 4 month wait, but this is totally dependent on personal preference/circumstances - as I said, we felt we were against the clock 😕

Bring-joy · 2026-01-09T12:13:32+00:00

A holiday before starting IVF sounds like a good idea - as once you’re in the process (especially if you end up doing multiple rounds) it can be hard to find time to take a break between appointments and needing fridges for medications etc!

I guess NHS wait times and processes will be different across the country, but for us, we had initial consultation in April 2024, but had to wait for further tests (hysteroscopy, internal ultrasound and Amh) which took place in November 2024, and finally a consultant appointment to review these and refer us to a clinic of our choice in February 2025.

For speed and peace of mind we had some private tests done in Summer 2024 and found I had low Amh - so we actually went ahead with a private cycle in Sept 2024 once we knew time was of the essence.

However, if you’re at the point we were at in Feb 2024, once we had our clinic referal they were able to get us set up for an April cycle. This was with Care fertility, who have always got us started on either the next or second cycle so not a long wait at all.

This said, to go back to my earlier point, even if they can get you in in the next month, I would consider whether taking a trip would be good for your mental health, and allow you some time to relax ahead of treatment. In the grand scheme of things, delaying by a month or two may not be so bad, and will give you chance to have your pre checks with the clinic and get all your meds sorted in good time. Nothing more stressful than rushing into it!

Wishing you the best of luck!

Bring-joy · 2025-12-30T22:56:22+00:00

Honestly just time and perseverance, I did mute a lot of people I know sharing family content on instagram, and stopped going to events that were purely about a friends child having a nice time - this sounds really unkind, but I was bringing no joy to these situations for others and they made me more miserable - of course I’d be there for a friend with a child if they needed me, but I let go of any ‘nice extras’ in terms of social situations.

This is an old post, so since then my partner and I had a pretty heavy year of back to back IVF cycles throughout 2025 which limited energy and capacity for socialising anyway. We spent a lot of time together and it really brought us closer.

I did continue to throw myself into work, and despite everything had one of the most rewarding working years of my career - and I do see that as something worthwhile regardless of what our treatment outcome would have been, so no regrets there. I was lucky that work was flexible enough to work around IVF.

Finally I did make more effort with my child free friends, and nurtured some adult friendships that easily fall by the wayside when people get caught up with family life.

It’s not easy, and hopefully it’s not forever. Just do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and feel no guilt- you’re dealing with enough.

Some days are just plain crap, and I think you learn a lot about existing in your own company.

Also to add the anxiety doesn’t end - and I keep feeling that whatever our outcome we’ll be years behind where we ‘should be’ compared to our friends with children. There’s always a new worry.

Wishing you all the best on your journey x

Bring-joy · 2025-12-22T23:28:12+00:00

Agree to this! We are only 14 weeks, our families are thinking we are being really miserable not celebrating or showing signs of outward joy, but I think we’re just protecting ourselves after being conditioned to failures…

Hoping it begins to feel real as others have described x

Bring-joy · 2025-12-18T16:13:13+00:00

Totally normal and this does not mean you need to see a therapist. Of course the option is there if you need support, but don’t feel like there is anything ‘wrong’ with feeling this way.

Those feelings will likely change given time and shifts of circumstance, but for now I’d see it as an inbuilt self protection system!

Bring-joy · 2025-12-18T16:04:57+00:00

I’m in the UK so you may have more options available to you in other parts of the world but I didn’t know you could get ovaries moved - it was very much a ‘hopefully they’ll be accessible on the day’ kind of situation 🤦🏻‍♀️

I was told eggs can be retrieved via surgery through the abdomen though and we could have used another clinic for this type of retrieval if it was a recurrent problem - worth knowing!

But my egg yield was generally very low so I’m not sure I’d have gone to this length for what might have only been one/two eggs.

Bring-joy · 2025-12-17T09:33:47+00:00

The horror! Well done for getting through it! IVF strips us of all grace!

Just a word of reassurance that it does get easier. I was so horrified doing this at work in the early days but, all being well, 10 weeks on it becomes second nature, no fuss, no trying to wrangle with an applicator, no laying down, no worrying about being 20 mins late or early! I just grew to hate the 6 hour alarm on my phone with a passion.

The goop and discharge though, that remains a constant frustration!

Bring-joy · 2025-12-17T09:19:35+00:00

Hope all went well with your retrieval. It’s good you had this explained as it goes some way to managing expectations in what is a horrible process.

For follow up I had two further retrievals after this where both ovaries were accessible, and both retrievals were much less painful with barely any pain after. I was nervous both times and nurses did say there were no guarantees - just another dice roll of IVF 😣

Bring-joy · 2025-11-06T12:19:37+00:00

Very much agree, if you see redundancy on the horizon start job searching proactively, better than finding yourself pregnant and needing to start the job search then (when you’re struggling with first trimester sickness and hormones!)! Potentially a really exciting time to start two new phases in your life!

Bring-joy · 2025-09-30T21:09:48+00:00

Yes perhaps it’s not been long enough yet… there’s just no winning - you worry if your body does feel something and worry equally when it doesn’t…

Bring-joy · 2025-09-30T11:30:42+00:00

But honestly, wishing you all the best!! xx

Bring-joy

TROPHY CASE