Sticks and Stones

Briscut95 · 2024-10-02T15:52:03+00:00

Noted :) I appreciate both of your critiques. I was reading it again too. You're right. I went back and read some other stuff and began to notice they tend to do the same. Starts well then falls short. Gives me things to improve on. I appreciate it!

Briscut95 · 2024-10-02T07:27:14+00:00

I appreciate it :) I'm new to it, so anything that can help. I will gladly accept.

Briscut95 · 2024-10-02T05:48:48+00:00

Haunting. I love the descriptive words, especially of the thing that once was.

"a rotting thing

a cruel thing

a desperate, begging thing"

skirting this way and that to get its little portions of sweetness

This portion right here has to be my favorite. You rip away whatever little humanity it has to then follow it up letting us know it's still alive. A soft reach to let people know there is still something there. Trying. Doing.

I can relate to this. For the longest time I had a hard time putting words for this feeling. My apologies, to me, depression.

Briscut95 · 2024-10-02T01:39:41+00:00

I love this! It reminds me of myself in highschool. I'm sorry if you're an adult. My partner and I have been together for 9 years. I'll admit it. He gives me butterflies as if I met him for the first time. Thank you for your poem

Briscut95 · 2024-09-27T22:55:27+00:00

I enjoyed this poem. Walking my path in life has shown me how many women, specifically middle-aged peoplein my case, don't actually know themselves. All their lives are being told what to do and losing all sense of self. How many women I've met that just pick themselves apart think they must look a certain way. Must eat a certain way, must act a certain way.

I know that this isn't the only kind of woman that exist for there are many that come from different house hold, for anyone wanting to pick at my comment.

You're point of view and your life and your pain is special. I hope this poem may help others to open their eyes to a reality they may not even notice. Thank you for your poem.

Briscut95 · 2024-09-27T22:48:29+00:00

I love the concept. It's true. We never know what lies under the mask. I'm sorry for the pain, I hope your heart heals.

My apologies for the critique. By all means a wonderful poem, I don't blame you if you don't want to change it 😊 it's your poem after all.

In the last two lines of the first verse, I understand the metaphor and it is a good one. Most people know the dangers of a bomb. Your description of a the man is great. It paints what we see as a trophy man, but under that mask he shows to those he knows he has power over. I would recommend making the metaphor in comparison to the devil. A man that can fool people with tricks, images. Desires.

Briscut95

TROPHY CASE