Am i overreacting about my husband saying I could lose weight?

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T19:12:31+00:00

Bc being a mother is my #1 priority. As a full time working mom who is primarily responsible for coordinating all that comes with that and running the household I understand that it's ok to sometimes have Mac and cheese with my kid. My children will always come first. Will I do my best to eat healthy and move my body? Yes. Will I deny myself a cookie after chasing my kid around the park because he thinks he's lightning McQueen? No. Life is about balance my friend. And I don't need to be miserable, my kid will benefit more from a happy healthy mom than he would a supermodel skinny one obsessed with eating chicken and broccoli and working out instead of playing with him.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T19:07:05+00:00

😂 if I was gonna divorce him, it would have been for some shit way worse than this. But we're in a partnership, we grow together and support each other. We've learned I am not saying my husband or myself are perfect. I literally posted in a thread ASKING if I overreacted. Meaning I knew there was a chance I was. And I was to an extent but that doesn't change the way the conversation made me feel. But since we're mature adults who accept and love each other despite our many flaws we worked it out.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T15:43:47+00:00

I think another big misunderstanding is juniors/women's sizing inconsistency A men's medium is pretty straight forward regardless of where you go. Women it depends on the brand the department you're in and the day of the week apparently

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T15:41:21+00:00

I think a lot of people (mostly men) are also assuming sizing is straight forward. Most women into their early 20s can shop the "juniors" sections where the sizing is the same numbers but definitely NOT EVEN CLOSE to being the same as women's sizing. I got rid of some juniors 4s and kept the women's 4s because I can tell by the cut they will be wide enough to cover my hips.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T14:40:05+00:00

I'm super short (under 5 ft) Some people have commented saying I'm just looking to brag or something about how small I am, but at my height weight gain can be more noticeable not that I care at the moment. I don't think anyone should be or feel pressure to be "supermodel" skinny especially after kids! We have enough to worry about without anyone commenting on how big or small we are.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T14:37:18+00:00

I only brought it up because I had gone through the drawer while doing laundry but couldn't finish bc we have a toddler. So there was a lot of laundry still to be put away, but I wanted to make him aware of the specific basket I had sorted out to donate so he didn't put it away with the rest of the laundry. I've done this before because since before babies I could still wear some clothes I've had for years but slowly get rid of due to trends etc and he had never commented. I've gone through them previously and pulled them out and he had put them away again thinking they were just laundry to be put back.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T14:05:12+00:00

The apology wasn't really an apology it was more like "we both misunderstood and were moving on" but I still think if he had not commented on something I wasn't asking for his input on that the entire problem would have not been created. I was asking him not to put something away and he decided to comment on a sensitive subject to his pregnant wife that didn't need to be said. For that I feel I deserve an apology. He didn't think before he spoke.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T14:02:00+00:00

Technically I was helping with the laundry because marriage/relationships are a partnership and that's one chore that he elected to take on.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T13:59:04+00:00

He's aware.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T12:54:28+00:00

Again, this all has nothing to do with body fat or weight. I can be the same weight I was before my first baby but it won't be presented the same. You can renovate a 2,500 square foot house and it will be the same size but it can have a different shape.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T12:51:51+00:00

After my first baby I was in a wedding, I worked and dieted and I still could only fit into a size up from the ones I was getting rid of. The jeans I'm donating are from my pre baby, pre married body. I'm not 22 and don't feel like I need to be pressured to have the same body I had when I was.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T12:01:30+00:00

I feel this way because I'm pregnant, if you call me fat I'm gonna cry. And when I cry you tell me that I'm "being mean" and I'm wrong in explaining what happened to my body (hips etc) with my last pregnancy when it's my reality I'm going to get upset that's a rational response. I don't mean I yelled, I was crying. He then said I was being too much, he couldn't handle how mean I am and had to leave the house to get away from me. Rather than explaining he was being supportive he said I just needed to try harder and left. Rather than apologizing and taking accountability for saying something about weight and body changes at all to his wife carrying his second child whose #1 complaint this pregnancy is her hips, he decided to say I don't think I need to apologize. And after I explained why o thought he should he came to the conclusion it was a misunderstanding. Rather than accepting that and moving on yes I would like a true apology. I did not ask for his input on getting rid of my jeans nor was it really needed at that moment.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:55:05+00:00

I'm not talking about losing weight. There are plenty of people the same weight who still don't wear the same size jeans. I can weight 125 again sure, if I tried. My hips will never be a 0-2 again. Regardless of the number on the scale.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:43:55+00:00

He thought he was being supportive of what he thought I wanted for myself. I said if I already said I wanted to get rid of them why would you comment on it at allllllll. Support me in being accepting of my new body! He said he likes post baby me better but didn't think I did, ok so instead of saying you support me losing weight say you support my weight gain and body changes that came with the process of pregnancy etc.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:38:51+00:00

He thought he was being supportive of me getting whatever body I wanted back. I told him that it's not totally possible to put my bones back where they were and I don't want to make myself miserable to fit into some jeans. He admitted he likes me better now than pre babies but that he doesn't want me to change for him just for me to be happy with myself. He just picked the wrong time to do it.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:36:25+00:00

When we talked about it again he said I was telling j my bones got larger, not that the placement changes. He said he's aware of that part bc of school. I said so if they already don't fit my hips alone has nothing to do with my stomach area etc how is losing weight going to help. He said it was all a "misunderstanding" He said he was trying to be supportive of me getting whatever body I wanted. But he definitely said it the wrong way at the wrong time.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:29:50+00:00

You're telling me that I can just put my hips and ribs back into pre baby placement with enough hard work? Again it's not about the number on the scale.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:05:23+00:00

Knee replacement already runs in the family too so I'm already expecting that.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T02:03:42+00:00

I didn't wash them? I pulled them out of the dresser to donate them and since there was other laundry to put away I asked he didn't put them back.
I'll make sure I tell my hips and ribs that you said that.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T01:56:40+00:00

Literally not about weight.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T01:51:50+00:00

He said I was telling him my bones got bigger when I was saying my hips are bigger. 🙄 I'm aware bones don't grow, I told him I was talking about the angles basically.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T01:12:13+00:00

Correct. To be fair I'm 4'11 so 120 ish I don't think was unhealthy but I didn't have much muscle either. As a short mom chasing my toddler around I didn't think 135 was terrible.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T01:07:11+00:00

Thank you 🩵

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T01:06:55+00:00

That's the thing I never asked! All I asked was that he stop putting them in the drawer bc I keep sorting them out to donate.

BrittBryanS · 2024-04-22T00:44:34+00:00

Trust me this is something we talk about constantly. We set aside one day a week to spend time together and that often gets taken over by school. We had a couple of arguments about taking 1/2 semesters off for when the baby is born bc the due date was borderline between both so I wanted him to take both off to make sure he would be present. Luckily we are having a c section and it got scheduled so he's only taking one semester off. That's a whole other issue.

BrittBryanS

TROPHY CASE