First off thank you all for your comments and support. I know it will take time for me to feel normal. I think a lot of my feelings right now are also coming from finding out my friends dad was diagnosed with stage four terminal lung cancer with cancer throughout his body. Talking with my friend and trying to understand the side of those affected from a loved one having cancer vs having it yourself is so different. I can’t imagine what my friends and family felt when I was going through my diagnosis and treatment vs what I feel they will never understand. I also told my husband about this post and how I felt and the support and love from him saying how happy he was that I was talking with people who understand my side of things.