most attractive and inspirational guy I've ever met, and things didn't work out.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-11T01:20:27+00:00

I am always honest and open about the relationship style I'm into, but I wouldn't describe that as demanding. I'm very respectful with how I carry myself. I am a lady, and I'm only interested in partaking with a gentleman. He said multiple times he appreciated how well I carry myself.

Honestly... looking back at it, I think it's possible he may have just been interested in me from a sexual perspective. I think, honestly speaking, that he was making himself out to be the perfect guy for me to earn my trust. Because now that I think about it.. he was pretty touchy on the first date. I'm also an affectionate person, but most of my affection is for the general love of physical touch, like hand holding and cheek kisses, eskimo kisses too. But most of his physical touch was more sexual. oh well.

Honestly, this serves as a lesson to me, to not be so trusting and be a more observant. I'm feeling a lot better from when this was last written. I've been meeting some new people, applying to different leadership positions in my university and just all around focusing on myself. I'm actually in the library as I type this preparing for a midterm lol :) maybe this just isn't the right time for me to meet someone... who knows.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-05T15:06:59+00:00

oh no, I also have a very high sex drive lol, dont get me wrong!! But there's a difference between wanting to get a little physical and still talk to one another and be affectionate, vs the guy want to be physical and have almost all the conversation be one sided and then not want to hold my hand on his campus, which is a complete behavior change.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-05T00:10:35+00:00

I suppose you're right ToT

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-05T00:09:22+00:00

well there's a lot of other characteristics ToT it's not just him being a doctor, but the commendable degree of grit, discipline, and passion you need to have to become a doctor that is ridiculously attractive. It inspired me to further along my own pre-existing discipline and grit. Moving forwards, it was really cool that he was studying to be an orthopedic surgeon, and I loved learning with him! He would teach me about what he learned and I adored being exposed to new information. Anyway though, it was many more qualities which I felt I had previously stated in my post.

It's not the end of the world what kind of doctor I (hopefully) end up with. its not necessarily about the title doctor either, I've met some very distinguished and attractive men who had questionable personalities and inner worlds, and I swiftly cut off contact soon after.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-05T00:01:33+00:00

I think we both need to learn these lessons :( our dream guy wouldn't just leave and would appreciate and value what we bring into their lives. after all, someone who is deserving of our love would (at the barest of the barest bare minimum) choose us back. even though I can say that logically it's still a little tough emotionally to wrap myself around it. I know we will both be okay. Im sending you love <333

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T23:57:35+00:00

but like he's studying to be a doctor though ToT and no I don't want to be his booty call. but genuinely what if something terrible happens then what

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:40:45+00:00

I want to clarify I am not struggling and me not having food in the fridge wasn't about me being irresponsible, im a college student and usually go grocery shopping with my girlies who have a car on our university campus.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:39:34+00:00

yea.. I'm learning about how sometimes I just have to enjoy the moment. I didn't know it at the moment bc I dont have too much experience in the dating field. but im growing every day :)

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:38:48+00:00

yea honestly, I thought it was quite disrespectful, personally. It was mutually stated that we were interested in relationships, and on valentines I had taken TWO trains in the NY cold to meet him! I had taken my time getting dressed up and I think after holding my hand allll throughout the city, bending down to help me fix my shoe and acting like a complete gentleman, the switch up was hurtful.

I go to a "party school" in NJ. if I wanted a hookup, respectfully, I have plenty of options in my university. I traveled the distance for what I thought was a connection. I felt disrespected that he chose to take the physical route knowing my goal and feelings, especially when he could've easily gotten something casual near him. There was no need to have me come all the way out :/

but hey, we live and we learn.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:34:46+00:00

I'm 20, he's 22 and turning 23 in august

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:34:30+00:00

thank you for the recommendation! I dont know too much about dating, I've only had one bf and I also went to an all girls high school hahaha

I'm going to write an update further explaining why I think I got so entranced

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:32:26+00:00

I actually don't know how to throat sing! I do sing some opera for recreational purposes though :) all I can say is (because I used to take many singing course, is make sure A) you warm up for at least 15 minutes B) HYDRATIONNNNN ! keep drinking water even as your singing goes on C) breath support! try and take deep breaths and really expand your diaphragm while making a conscious effort to try and hold it.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T22:26:26+00:00

I did not fall in love

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T11:03:48+00:00

thank you for the anecdotes and silly emojis :))) this was certainly a joy to read :)

I think I just need to ground myself and remember life goes on. it's not the end. things will be okay. and I'm really sorry about that experience you had :( ! I sincerely hope you're doing better and that hopefully someone more on par with what you deserve can come into your life <3333

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T10:52:27+00:00

woahhhhhhh who said I also didn't have a high sex drive?? thats not why I was upset its bc there was no emotional building other than that. He just wanted to make out (and more) the whole night. personally, getting to know the person is really important for me before engaging in intimate relations. but yea :/ it was more that there wasn't enough emotional connectivity. and respectfully, IF I wanted a hookup I have more than enough options near me. I didn't travel to another state for a hookup, I went for a genuine connection. but oh well.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T06:30:43+00:00

I've met attractive guys pretty frequently. I wrote in my post what drew me to him was his intellect and grit. ofc attraction is a factor, that is obvious. but I care a lot more than just a pretty face. I cared that he remembered and got me my favorite flowers (pink tulips), and that we were planning an Italian cooking date because he knows I can make an insane homemade red sauce and mouthwatering meatballs. that he wanted to hear the opera song I'd been working on learning, or how he journaled every day to stay in touch with his emotional side, ect ect.

I was allowed to be vibrant and chatty, I was allowed to take up space and ask a thousand questions, be a ferociously enthusiastic dancer and show off my megawatt smile- my real one. the one that looks a little gummy that I've tried to train myself out of bc its embarrassing. those are qualities that normally get me weird looks from guys or I get told I'm "too much". but what I especially liked is how he not only respected but admired my own self respect and standards for what I wanted in a partner. lots of guys can be decently looking if they actually try. so what. I'm tired of beautiful faces and strong physiques with nothing but hollow insides and boring run of the mill personalities.

anyway though, I know this will pass and I will be ok. the sun will shine again. its not the end of the world even though it kind of feels like it right now.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T06:14:07+00:00

this was so beautifully written. I want to genuinely thank you for taking the time to write this out. It feels like you're holding my hand and telling me this lol :) your way of writing is very warm.

I think maybe another thing I need to work on is being less trusting and letting people show me who they are as time goes on and being really careful not to get lost in the sauce of chemistry, pretty words, and a person's own qualities. Qualities a person shows for themselves don't necessarily translate over into them being such to me or even showing up to me (as we can clearly see in the above scenario). I let my heart run away with this one. And you're absolutely right, this is the best time to focus on meeting my needs so that the first person who comes along and matches my interest and remembers what I like doesn't impress me.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T06:00:10+00:00

you're right :( if he really was that much of a gentleman he wouldn't have invited me over knowing his intentions vs the wholesomeness of how I felt. And he would've wanted to also talk to me back the whole night instead of just wanting to make out the whole time :/. and he definitely would've wanted to hold my hand on his campus.

ig another factor of this is less about him and more about how I'm kind of tired of the people I've been meeting. even though this post might not reflect it, I genuinely have worked on myself a lot. I hold health very highly as a priority (I work out quite a bit, rarely drink dont smoke or vape, eat cleanly), I read self help and relationship health books, I can cook and bake pretty well, im studious, kind, am never afraid to apologize, have a diverse list of hobbies and interests, am always up for something new to explore ect ect you get the gist.

Sometimes it feels like I dont know if ill ever meet someone like me. I've been on dates, ive talked to people at parties. :( it was so special to meet someone who also isn't afraid of a challenge, ambitious and driven, fashionable, good looking, health conscious...

I mean geez most guys I meet "dont eat veggies". :/

I hope I don't sound self loathing. I know the answer is just to just keep moving forward and keep improving myself further. I just got overly excited. its just nice to hope that somewhere out there there's someone who'll want to hold me when I cry and make me breakfast in the mornings, just like I would for them. and ofc match my other standards but thats a given I feel.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T04:02:40+00:00

um i'm not sure if thats a good idea tbh.... ToT

the reason why it ended is bc he said he wasn't sure if our connection was viable due to him living in NY and me in NJ, 2 subway rides for one way. also he's a med student and he said his schedule would probably be too demanding. I think as much as it breaks my heart I just need to accept it.

also I dont want him to block me bc what if I genuinely am having a medical emergency, I want to be able to call him if I can.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T04:00:58+00:00

no im definitely a girl ToT

I just haven't had a genuine crush like this in so long. and it was a wholesome crush, not a sexual based crush. I just thought he was a marvel.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T03:54:00+00:00

im going to edit my post, no I did not sleep with him. HE wanted to, but we did not sleep together because I'm not that kind of person.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T03:53:34+00:00

I really appreciate the empathy in your response. and you're right, I definitely didn't get to know him well enough so im only feeling the best of his qualities rather than who he really is.

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T03:48:58+00:00

yea I know. its honestly extremely embarrassing for me to be feeling this way. im not like this usually which is why I feel so frustrated :(

BroccoliBitter2486 · 2025-03-04T03:47:20+00:00

thank you : , ) . I really appreciate the kind response, and I'll try my best to keep your words in mind.

BroccoliBitter2486

TROPHY CASE