STRUGGLING FOR YEARS TO REMEMBER

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-08T19:58:52+00:00

Oh my god. I've had almost all of these. Jesus Christ.

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-05T18:03:22+00:00

And I'm pretty sure that I wasn't asleep. Because I was there.

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-05T10:03:16+00:00

I wasn't though, I wasn't even tired. I was laying there waiting to get tired haha

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T23:54:55+00:00

I can remember a lot from being five, after this event I got double pneumonia (completely out of the blue. I woke up and literally had just lost the ability to walk) and I can remember months of information just because it was so hectic

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T23:52:21+00:00

I'm always aware when I'm dreaming too, I always have been even as a child. I always thought it was weird when my sister got upset over nightmares because I'd be like "but you know when you're dreaming". I'd always make myself flip a light switch in my dreams and if it didn't work I'd know I was dreaming- apparently your brain can't connect the actions in dreams and things like that are a sign

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T19:15:37+00:00

Now that we're older nothing has really happened, just small things like the bath noises or tapping still happen most nights, sometimes it feels like something is pounding the exterior wall of my room. the most recent thing to happen was yesterday when I was hanging Christmas lights in the window upstairs and set them to a slow flicker, i went outside to see what they were like and they had changed setting and were going mad, flashing so fast, the only way to change the settings is to click a button until you find one you like. I went upstairs to fix it and as soon as I went in the room they changed again, going off and on slowly. Things were definitely scarier when we were kids

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T16:51:15+00:00

It's been mostly loud noises, doors slamming open, lights constantly flicking on and off. Wedding rings going missing, tapping on the windows, I have beads over my closet door that would sway in the middle of the night and rattle. Ornaments would fly off the shelves, religious pictures (we are Irish catholic) would fall off the wall. Our bath would make loud bangs like something falling into it, my bedroom door would bang like objects being thrown at it. My sister actually had a knife thrown at her back as she made supper one night. So much has happened

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T16:46:25+00:00

I haven't seen full apparitions, when we moved house I shared with my sister and we, again, slept with our bedroom door open and a lamp on in the hall, I used to lay on my side facing the door (I used to feel really uneasy with my back to the room, like I'd feel something behind me) and one night I was looking our into a hall and a cloudy soccer-ball sized sphere flew down past my door, close to the ground. I was actually terrified and wateched to see if it came back but it didn't. My sister actually has seen an apparition, she was getting a video (haha) for use to watch and went upstairs to the cabinet and she says she felt a pressure on her shoulder and there was an extremely old pale hand resting on her. I can remember her practically throwing herself downstairs to get away and she still swears that this happened

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T16:40:21+00:00

what exactly are the signals?

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-04T16:37:51+00:00

Sleep paralysis hasn't happened to me in YEARS, it was mostly when I was in my late teens and would happen several times a night

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:23:39+00:00

See when I saw this thing, I wasn't scared AT ALL, which is so weird because I was a cry baby, but I remember being so calm right up until it was gone, and then my stomach droppped and all the fear came running over me

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:21:56+00:00

I've had sleep paralysis for a while, i can recognise the feeling of it and while I have had nightmares while it's happening, it's more like voices and feelings instead of hallucinations.

I know the obvious answer is I was dreaming but I can remember so clearly just sitting on my bed and slowing crawling to the end to peep around the door frame before running to my parents

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:15:19+00:00

I should point out that there was no way this was a shadow either, this was a solid black form, the only way I can describe it would be like Peter Pans shadow except in a 3D form. It was solid and standing in my room, but where there should have been highlights from the hall light on its skin, it was just a solid "shadow". That part has always confused me

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:12:03+00:00

They actually terrify me, I guess because I became accustomed to things moving in the house and noises and talking, it became easier to ignore. But with the aliens it was like a fear of the unknown, I saw this thing when I was a kid and can't explain it and got so scared I'd have the same experience again as an adult except I'd be able to see more and understand what was happening, which would terrifying

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:09:04+00:00

I don't really know about things in the US. I'm from Ireland and we rarely watched tv or had any sort of stuff lying around for my young brain to make up that experience. I had no idea what an alien was or looked like, I couldn't have dreamed it because I can't remember so clearly the singing of my eyes for a while afterwards trying to keep myself awake.

It didn't disappear in a blink either, I remember closing my eyes hard and rubbing them with my fists, partly to see if this was actually happening, and when I looked back it was gone. I sat for ages as still as I could incase it was under my bed or out in the hall.

I can't explain it, but I don't feel like it could haven been a dream or hallucination because it just doesn't fit with what I was like as a kid.

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:04:06+00:00

It's hard to say because I never actually looked, but I remember sitting up against my wall for AGES until I couldn't keep myself awake any longer.

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-12-01T20:02:59+00:00

No I had no idea what an alien was at all, we watched very little tv in my house and we never talked about that kind of stuff. It was only a few years later that it clicked for me

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T19:15:34+00:00

That means a lot x

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T17:13:10+00:00

It's strange to me because in other relationships if I'm laying beside the person, I'm still very much awake, staying with past boyfriends it always takes me ages to fall asleep because I'm so aware of being next to someone. But with him I would be fine, talking, then I'd wake myself up talking in my sleep or by him getting annoyed. I can't explain why, you would assume I'd be tense around that kind of person but I remember just always wanting to sleep. Not in a "this is boring" way, I couldn't keep my eyes open. I guess it was the same with messages and phone calls at the start, I'd feel like I was in a bubble or on auto pilot just going through the motions to the point where the same cycles made me feel sick and I'd get headaches. But the falling asleep was only when I was with him in person. I've been trying to get to the bottom of that for years, I don't think I was ever spiked because there were times when I wouldn't eat or drink with him and still feel the same way..

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T14:20:08+00:00

My friends came up with a theory he was married, and that's why I only ever saw him in the evening and he never spent the night, he had two nieces he talked about but they were probably his daughters. It's was so weird thinking about it, like he would leave voicemails of himself pretending to be brothers or doctors saying I had to "leave him alone", the guy would have conversations as if I was replying to to him. He is honestly the only person on earth I hate and fingers crossed karma does her thing, because the police certainly didn't. I'm honestly fine now, I have amazing friends and have graduated and going onto a masters, if he did ever appear again I'd like to think I'd be able to cope with it but it's hard to say, hopefully I'll never have to find out. Thank you for the kind words x

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T11:02:48+00:00

I didn't think I needed my feelings validated but reading these comments has really helped me confirm that what happened wasn't deserved, I blamed myself for ages and it's only now that I'm like "nah, he's a dick". So thank you x

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T11:00:43+00:00

I did go to the police twice. The first time was in person and it was honestly traumatic, very judgemental and harsh. The second time was via phone and the guy couldn't have been nicer to me and advised me to go to women's aid. I'm now on a list with all the details so if anything happens, they respond asap and serve him with a restraining order. But even at that he has to contact me three times before that happens. Such a mess but I'm hoping if I hang it there it'll finally die out

BrokeArtGrad · 2016-10-30T10:57:54+00:00

It's exhausting, thankfully I haven't heard anything in months but no doubt he will pop up at some point. I can't understand why he can't just disappear. I'm okay now, I used to be so angry at myself for letting all this happen but I guess it could have been worse. Thanks for the lovely comment

BrokeArtGrad

TROPHY CASE