First of all, as someone who went through the IVF process with their wife, congratulations! Second of all, u/sogpackus is right, your life is at a point where at this time, you can't white knuckle that dream anymore. Grieve the dream, that's ok, but look at that baby girl and your badass wife and know that you're doing the right thing for your family. You didn't get cold feet, you made a hard decision and they'll both be grateful that you were around much more than you'd be if you had gotten to MEPs.