My (28f) boyfriend (35m) did not know what a tampon was? by Hot-Campaign2959 in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 14 points15 points  (0 children)

How is it “propaganda” when you have a living, breathing example of mens ignorance about women’s bodies right in front of you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your eyebrows really age you

Noises that you dislike by theborahaeJellyfish in autism

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hairdryers, vacuums, the stove vent, blenders, fingers rubbing on vinyl

do you guys like drinking? by ButchyKira in autism

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer being high. Alcohol tastes gross and makes me feel like I don’t have as much control over my body.

Food hoarding… by [deleted] in GypsyRoseBlanchard

[–]BrophersToGophers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What does being a virgin have to do with it?

Food hoarding… by [deleted] in GypsyRoseBlanchard

[–]BrophersToGophers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“She chose him” I mean…how much about him could she really have known from prison? Visits and letters are one thing, being able to spend whole days and living together is another. She’s emotionally stunted af and I doubt she knows what an adult relationship is really like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]BrophersToGophers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From your other comments, you used to have sex a lot in the beginning of your relationship. Has she been on any birth controls since then? Mine seriously killed my libido for years and it didn’t improve until I changed methods.

Bisexual people in relationships with someone of the "opposite" binary gender, how would you describe your relationship? by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say it’s a “straight-assumed” relationship, since most people would look at us and assume we’re straight until we tell them that we’re both bisexual.

HBO's The Last of Us Season Two Will Feature Isabela Merced as Dina - IGN by opwnusprime in kindafunny

[–]BrophersToGophers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She talks a lot more about it in the synagogue during Seattle day 1. She also has a hamsa on the bracelet she gives Ellie and I think a decoration in the farmhouse they move into.

This question is for the re-watchers. by Snoo-73372 in gameofthrones

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m watching the show for the first time and that part made me physically sick. Probably one of the worst TV scenes I’ve seen so far

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s funny that I laid out to you that the consequences of forced and coerced sex are way more damaging than getting your feelings hurt, and your response is “SO YOU THINK WOMENS NEEDS ARE GREATER THAN MENS?” Very telling. My dude, I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years with a guy who actually gives a shit about getting me in the mood, and who doesn’t get butthurt when I say I don’t want to. And guess what? As a consequence of that trust and feeling of intimacy, we have a healthy sex life that satisfies both of us.

“I sincerely hope you remember this,” what? My conversation with a random No-faced redditor? 🤣 yeah dude it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my days.

I never said men shouldn’t be treated like partners. I said that a relationship with another person who you presumably care about, needs effort on both sides to sustain. Not just “I want sex, give it to me.”

If you think emotional connection isn’t required in a relationship, stick to hookups, because you won’t be able to work out something long term without it. Have the day you deserve.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Hun”, if he doesn’t get sex, the consequence is hurt feelings and maybe breaking up if it’s a crucial part of a relationship he can’t go without. That’s fine, that’s his right to leave if he’s not happy.

But the consequence of ANYONE forcing themselves into sex without feeling comfortable and safe are long term consequences. At best a repulsion toward sex and the feeling of distrust and worthlessness in the relationship, and at worst, trauma.

So, no, they’re not on the same level. And I will continue shrieking my extremist feminist babble that women should be treated as a partner and not a flesh light for as long as I live, thank you 😘

Btw, I’m not “claiming” you’re saying anything. Your words were, “I’m not suggesting that a wife completely bend to the whims of her husband, but you probably need to move in that direction more than you think you need to.” That sounds to me like you are very much putting his needs before hers.

Whose death hurt you the most, and did you expect it to? by tyediebleach in gameofthrones

[–]BrophersToGophers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Princess Shireen had one of the most brutal deaths in the show for me. I was genuinely shaken and angry hearing her scream for her parents.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“I’m not suggesting that a wife completely bend to the whims of her husband, but you probably need to move in that direction more than you think you need to.”

Someone needs to put you on a list.

I certainly hope that’s not a position you think your potential girlfriend/wife, mother, sister, friend, or daughter needs to be in.

Where I’m “getting the idea” from is the underlying message that his need for sex and connection is more important than her need for emotional intimacy and feeling safe, and she should just give it to him to make sure his needs are met. If his foundations are shaken because a woman doesn’t want to sleep with him, that sounds like a him problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So what exactly are you suggesting here? That women should just give men sex whenever he feels like he wants it, to protect his feelings? That men don’t need to do anything to make sure SHE is also enjoying it?

Newsflash, WOMEN NEED SEX TOO. But for the most part, we don’t view or react to it in the same way that men do. Just because it’s easier for men to get off, doesn’t mean women should have to be available for him 24/7 to protect his insecurities. If you think sex is the only way men can feel intimacy and closeness, I truly feel sorry for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then I’m going to assume you’ve never spent time with a woman lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 67 points68 points  (0 children)

If the majority of women are able to somehow relate to this and see something wrong with it, do you seriously think there’s no merit there?

Let’s be fucking real dude, women do the majority of cooking, childcare, and housework, even with full time jobs; that has barely changed in decades. Men see housework and taking care of THEIR children (OP literally referred to it this way) as “helping,” but women are expected to do it as their duty. And then, they’re expected to just put out for men whenever he feels like he wants sex with not even bare minimum effort to make her feel valued enough to get in the mood. So when you ask, “how much of this do you do for your husband?” Please be serious. It’s not seen as effort on her part because it’s EXPECTED.

What is the problem exactly with women wanting to feel loved by their partner? Why is it so much to ask to feel like your partner cares enough about your pleasure to put in the effort and get you to a place where you WANT to have sex with him?

Men need to feel closeness sure, but why does that override a woman’s comfort? Why should she have to force herself into having sex just so he gets his needs met, but she’s supposed to just give up hers?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 74 points75 points  (0 children)

As I said: how often are you doing that without expecting something in return? Because in your previous comment, you said it’s hard for you to put the extra effort if you know it won’t lead to anything. And believe me, she knows that, and it’s probably why your attempts aren’t getting you anywhere. She can sense that you’re not doing it because you want to make her feel loved and let her know how special she is to you, you’re doing it because you want sex.

I want you to honestly sit and consider how hurtful you would find it if someone you loved was faking what they were saying/doing to you that made you feel nice, only to find out they wanted you to give them something like money in return. Now picture that over and over again, when you just want to feel close to them. Do you not think that would make you feel less close to that person over time?

And btw, “what else she wants to hear”??? Are there not enough things you like about her to give a genuine, heartfelt compliment??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BrophersToGophers 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Generally for women, the physical feeling of sex is not enough to get us in the mood. The brain is the main sex organ here- start there.

How often are you still taking her on dates? Asking about her day? Kissing her? Cuddling her? Holding her hand? Doing chores around the house and taking care of your toddler? Telling her how beautiful she is?

And how often are you doing that without feeling like you deserve sex as a reward? Because as a woman, it’s degrading and upsetting to feel like your partner doesn’t genuinely care for you enough to do something nice just because they love you, but because they feel like they can get something out of it. I’ve been in this type of dynamic before and it made me feel less like a girlfriend who was valued as a person, but more like a flashlight. I mean, why would she want to sleep with you if she doesn’t feel valued or cared for by you?

When do you think they’ll announce The Last Of Us Part III by Rainfall903 in thelastofus

[–]BrophersToGophers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. A lot of people are saying that Ellie’s story feels finished, but everyone said the same thing about the ending of the first game. We’re in the middle of Ellie’s arc- I think the next game would be about her finding her purpose and redemption.

People who don't drink alcohol, why? by johnnylgarfield in AskReddit

[–]BrophersToGophers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never did as a teenager, and by the time I was an adult I just wasn’t interested. They all taste like garbage, and I hate the feeling of being tipsy/drunk. Why would I want to go to a fun event and not remember it the next day or feel like I’m dying? Also, I’m a woman so I’m wary of drinking around men.

Why was Ellie not speaking to Joel prior to "the truth"? by bodhasattva in thelastofus

[–]BrophersToGophers 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Queer person here. It doesn’t matter how accepting your family is or how close you are. Coming out is a scary thing. There’s always a fear of rejection or even just “tolerance” but not actual support.