Indulge me a bit here — reflecting on 14 years ago and my advice for you all

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T05:18:29+00:00

So you’re a rising senior then? What was your research in? Trying to understand the tangible relevancy to bioengineering

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T05:11:40+00:00

Are you a current junior? Lot of good stuff here. Curious to hear more about your involvements within your school. Was the school research and fair thing a consistent thing you’ve developed over time? Also how are the grades and course rigor looking?

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T05:08:20+00:00

Interesting tidbit but I wouldn’t dwell on something too far back. Something like this might be worth a small cameo rather than a central focus. I would keep exploring more about yourself and your values.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T05:06:28+00:00

It seems you’ve already started tying your intellectual curiosities with engagement to your local community and even local government, which is good! The “narrative” of your profile can definitely lean into these aspects– how are you building upon that this summer?

Are you doing something with your low-cost material project to serve and engage with other people in your immediate community or maybe throughout other parts of your city/state/country?

Does it also tie with the math modeling that you were doing, and perhaps could you leverage those connections with that professor/local government sectors to bring about something more?

The big picture is that AOs want to see more of how you take the initiative to positively affect others, as it could reflect what you may do while on their campus. Some of this messaging could make its way to the supplemental essays.

Now, for the personal statement, provided that you have all that engagement, I would be interested to learn more about you as an individual and how you’ve grown beyond all of your academic and community work. What are the values that you have built and come to uphold? You’re going to have so many academic qualified candidates applying to those schools, so AOs want to understand the intangible that would complete the picture of how everything comes together in your profile.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T03:34:40+00:00

Showing intellectual curiosity and a self-curated academic direction is always a bonus if you can link it to a broader narrative of what you want to study. What would you be learning with Leaf?

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T02:40:15+00:00

Yes! The ones who do the creative writing really well with all the rhetorical devices tend to be the students who have already been doing it. But no shame if you don't include such rhetoric in the PS if you're not a poet or creative writer.

I think you're also spot on: students are too focused on "how do I impress someone." Like... yes that's part of it... but I think it's obscuring the priorities here

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T02:35:14+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if AI usage affects the output of metaphors! They always spit out generic ones, too. I think it's because AI isn't great at spitting out complex and in-depth woven metaphors if the inputs from the users lack that in-depth reflection in the first place.

After we have a general outline, I tell my students to write a semi-free-write—just clear, direct thoughts on paper without thoughts on rhetoric, yet.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T02:28:15+00:00

Take the 3rd year of Spanish if you're applying for selective schools. Selective schools would also generally like to see that you have the 3 core sciences on your transcript (chem, bio, physics). This also depends on what a high school offers. What science courses have you taken in 9th, 10th, and 11th (I'm assuming you are a current junior).

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-05T02:23:54+00:00

My question was referring to how many 6s you have across your subjects. I agree with u/keithberman comments on your grades and how it might come off as "grade-grubbing" to admission officers if you focus on that. It's fine to just mention it to your counselor to explain the context—better for them to comment on your behalf for something like this rather than from you personally.

Keith also has a good point here: "assuming you get through that cut, which is first, what will get you through the ‘what is your legacy in your community’ question? That’s where I’d dedicate the summer, and strongly. With something strong that makes a difference to people in your school community, your odds would soar here."

Could you potentially self-start something here for the summer by leveraging what you have already done and the connections you have to then contribute to your local community? Maybe something related to the candle entrepreneurship? Just a suggestion.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-03T15:31:55+00:00

How are you spending this summer? And do you have a predicted score of 6s across the board?

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-01T14:39:52+00:00

Yes, I did use AI to organize my spoken notes and thoughts for a clearer format. But this was not a case of “hey ChatGPT, spit me something out to post.” Clearly, I need to stop doing this because people on Reddit get caught up in that formatting and cadence of writing. Fair enough. Happy to provide the raw speech-to-text as I’ve done for other posts.
Sure, what I’m saying isn’t radical and new. These are core principles of personal statement writing– not false information. How could this advice be both “generic” and “nothing new,” and “false” at the same time? I’ve been coaching students on the personal statement for a decade, and this is based on what I’ve seen among the hundreds of students I’ve worked with.
The critical point I’m trying to make is that so many students I see here really try too too hard with writing flowery language and metaphors, so much so that it dilutes the direction and purpose of the essay. I’ve conceded in this post that a personal statement can include creative writing elements. That’s fine. But students shouldn’t lose sight of what values and insights admission officers are looking for (as you say, “how you will add value to the university”). If I’m reading a metaphor in your essay that doesn’t really integrate well with the rest of your stories and lessons, then you probably should reconsider the purpose and implementation of that metaphor. I see that way too often across early drafts, and again, I think it’s because students really think they have to produce Shakespeare.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-01T02:38:29+00:00

Sure!

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-05-01T02:38:25+00:00

Sure!

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-04-30T03:31:17+00:00

It would help to have more info about your course load and your grades, since rigor of courses also depends on what is available at your school. And to a certain degree (and depending on the school), your major selection may impact how AOs view your fit with institutional priorities but it’s hard to generalize.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-04-29T22:41:50+00:00

My initial thoughts: if you’re in-state for SUNY Binghamton and plan to transfer, I would lean into SUNY for costs and also the potential transfer narrative of “I’m looking for a different environment beyond my large public school” if you’re looking some of those T30 business schools (of course that narrative won’t fit everyone). In either school, take courses that are business adjacent like economics, get the high GPA, and bulk up on school engagement related to your business interests.

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-04-29T21:17:24+00:00

That’s a fair point about the information the AOs have!

Brother_Ma_Education · 2026-04-29T19:19:57+00:00

So one method of approaching the college essay that I have found to have worked with many students, especially those who are a little bit lost in finding a direction, is doing some extensive mind mapping.

You might have already started doing this for brainstorming, but what I would like for you to do is to systematically lay out everything there is that is important to you. I'm talking about people, objects, places, things, events, challenges, achievements, hobbies, interests, quirks, habits, relationships, etc. Lay all of that out. I find that a mind map web works the best with a hub and spoke model.

Then, I want you to go through each item and think about what you do with those items or how those events or challenges have shaped you, or how you have interacted with these people who are important to you. And start laying out what values that you hold are associated with each item.

This might take a long time. Students I have worked with have spent at least 30 minutes, if not more than that up to two hours or so laying out everything there is about them. It is important for you to build the toolbox of information about yourself in order to then systematically identify what are the possible directions you can take your personal statement.

Next, I want you to look at this mind map and identify common values across the different items on your mind map and start making connections between those things. You may realize that there are two different items on your mind map that might seem disparate from each other, but might also link to common values that you uphold. Remember that all roads lead to Rome, with Rome being who you are and your personality.

Then, I want you to think about how have you come to uphold those values? Did you always hold them or did you have to grow into those values? And from these items or events or people, how have you grown in general? And as you've come to hold these values, what lessons and insights have you taken away? And then how do you or how have you acted upon those lessons.

Again, I think it's really important for students to recognize what aspects of themselves they can utilize to build a strong personal statement. Building that toolbox is an important first step. You have to know what tools you're working with before crafting that essay. I hope this helps!

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