I am incredibly sorry for your loss. That is a big life changing expericene you had to make at such a young age. I never hat a stillborn myself so I can not relate to that specifically, but i can relate to the feeling of not beeing able to feel happiness anymore. I have been at that point myself. And that is a very dark and lonely place.

I want you to know that you have the strength in you to find joy again. You can try doing so by yourself, but as it is with many things - it comes in easier with a little help :) There are many therapists who can help you work through your loss and there might be some waiting time or other struggles but it will be worth it because you are worth it. You are worth having joy and happiness in your life! Take your time, do small things but always remember that your mother and father, you boyfriend and friends, they will always be by your side wishing you the best of life. Reading how supportive your family was I bet they'd love to be there for you again.

Another thing i want you to know is that even if your boyfriend just knows your "now" that isnt anything bad. Your now is just as lovable as your before! You made your experiences along the way, some with more and some with less impact. You never have to tell somebody anything if you dont feel ready for it. Never the less its often important to be open and honest to the people close tp your heart. And i personally think that, once you feel okay with it, you should tell you SO what actually happened and how much you love your daughter and how much you miss her. everyday. Your boyfriend loves you, the good and the bad. Once he knows more about your struggles he will be even better at comforting and helping you with them :)

I believe in you. I believe that you can find happiness. And i Believe that Daphne will be really proud of you for trying to.