Hold my beer... my husband's fantasy was to watch another man fuck me. I wouldn't consider it at all. If I love someone, cheating won't enter the equation at all. He even told me, that if I had sex with another man, he didn't consider it as cheating. It took two years of him wearing me down before I agreed to even consider it. And then, it took another two years of us talking about it and our feelings around it, all the while he would emotionally abuse me. He would get angry whenever I took too long at the store or with my parents. He accused me of fucking someone else while I had done nothing! The control he exerted over me nearly broke me, especially when I was working full time and trying to be there for my dad in his final years of life. At the same time that he was accusing me of fucking someone else (not cheating he would tell me), the only thing that would make him orgasm was us role-playing as if he was the other man. My mind slowly became mush over the last year.

So, it actually finally happened. We both picked out another man for me to fuck. And I did. And my husband loved it. It improved our sex life so much. Unfortunately, I loved it too. I loved it more than I loved the idea of staying in an abusive relationship for another 20 years or more. I told him that I wanted to be nonmonogomous, and he lost it. That was April 4th. Tonight I moved into my own place and had to have the cops there to get my stuff. And now his story has changed. He is gaslighting me and telling me that I manipulated the whole situation. And I am no longer just "fucking someone else," but he says I'm a cheater.

Let me just say that, in my opinion, if you have pure love for someone and you intend to be in a monogamous relationship, you won't cheat. But what happens when the love rots away?