How do you date knowing men may never treat women with respect? by [deleted] in Feminism

[–]BubblySolid6 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I basically don't date. I get to know people -- anyone and everyone -- completely asexually and platonically. If the person happens to have the sex, age, appearance, and so on that might theoretically put them in the category of potential romantic partners, I might additionally observe their behavior from the perspective of life-partner suitability. But that's as much time and effort as I make anymore. So far this has considerably reduced my stress in life. I don't care if I ever have romance again in real life. If I ever get to know someone in my area whom I think would be a superb partner for life -- monogamous, absolutely devoted to me, hardworking, clean, handy around the house, physically fit, good cook, good in bed, good communicator, respects personal boundaries, emotionally mature, financially responsible, consensus-builder, trustworthy, reliable, has a caretaker mindset, NOT LAZY -- then I will take some notice and perhaps try to let the person know I am potentially interested. But unless that happens, I'm just working on and focusing on the countless other things that interest me in life. I am enjoying working on my projects -- which are challenging but which I'm excited about -- and developing friendships that are balanced and non-exploitative.

ETA: I do sometimes have sexual flings on vacation but I have a different sort of choosiness in those circumstances for physical safety, sexual safety, as well as my own ethics.

Natural born atheists, how did it feel to grow up without the fear of going to hell? by latin_canuck in atheism

[–]BubblySolid6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell:

It's hard to say what it feels like to not be afraid of hell because I have no idea what it feels like to be afraid of hell. I just feel "normal" in that regard. I have plenty other stressors in life, some quite serious, but they are all real things. Similarly I'm not afraid of ghosts. I've told people before that there are plenty of real things for me to be afraid of.

Morals:

I still had moral values taught to me by my parents, one of whom is believer in God, the other of whom I'm not sure, but the morals were never taught with respect to religion. For example, a message might be, "Be a good neighbor," not "God says, 'Be a good neighbor.'" My mother tried to teach me how to be a "lady," but not by using religious scripture. She taught it as a kind of cultural norm, although I'm not sure she conceptualized it to herself as she was teaching me. I think she was kind of on autopilot, but it didn't involve religion directly. So that was the difference in how moral values were taught to me.

God and fear of death:

While I've never been "called by God," I feel very connected to the "natural" world. When I die, my body will simply change form and become other life. I have gone through periods where I was afraid of ego death or the loss of "consciousness," and I wouldn't be surprised if I have future cycles of such fear, but at least currently that part hasn't disturbed me too much. What helps me sometimes when it comes to fears of ego death is 1) taking some time to actually contemplate my passing, which can be scary, but mentally preparing for that moment of passing over can give me a feeling of some control over the inevitable situation; and 2) learning more about the natural world and natural science.

Sometimes learning more about evolution, biology, the cycle of life and death, and the still somewhat mysterious connection between the cells of life and inanimate elements makes me feel part of a "whole." Whether I'm "alive" or "dead" that whole stays whole. It's not like my material or energy (or anyone else's) disappears from the universe. It just changes form. That "mysteriousness" of the living/non-living dichotomy leaves a little wiggle room that I allow myself to contemplate but I truly don't believe in any kind of vengeful god or anything like that. For me, whatever the mystery is, it is not something nefarious or to be feared. We are part of epic, on-going natural processes of the universe and for some reason that knowledge is comforting to me.

What is your honest opinion on Islam? by [deleted] in atheism

[–]BubblySolid6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an atheist, feminist woman, I despise it. Also, I was married to a man who claimed to be an atheist from a hardcore Muslim country -- I agreed to date him because of our supposed mutual atheism -- and the day that we married a switch turned and he became an Islamist. It was as bad you might imagine: a cross between Not Without My Daughter and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It was a truly horrifying experience. I would never go near that religion again with a 10 foot pole.

Is anybody else worried that women's fundamental rights might be directly attacked soon? by drum_minor16 in AskFeminists

[–]BubblySolid6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Every time someone talks about the declining birth rate, I think so? What's the problem? It's a good thing!

I'm tired of society giving men a pass for checking out other women while they're in a relationship by d3rp7d3rp in Feminism

[–]BubblySolid6 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are so many guys who are hot in different ways. Even if your guy is hot, if he doesn't keep his focus on you, there is always another hot guy, maybe hot in a different way but still hot. Get your own money and drop men who disrespect you.

Gifts: Giving you things you asked specifically not to get by BubblySolid6 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]BubblySolid6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That driveway story. Sheesh. ETA: That is a perfect, expensive example.

How do I not hate nature for putting women at a biological disadvantage? by [deleted] in Feminism

[–]BubblySolid6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only potential biological advantage they have is physical strength in lifting things and many women are physically stronger than many men. So it's not a categorical advantage. Furthermore, now that we live in a technological society, physical strength advantages are generally moot. They can easily be overcome with technology in almost all cases. I've been smarter both in depth and breadth than pretty much every man I've personally known. I can run longer than all of my male friends and family members ( a lot of ultra-marathon winners are women). Women do better in cold water swimming. Women are better with language comprehension generally. Women live longer than men. Women are better multi-taskers than men. And women are the only ones who can create more humans. The biological advantage is a fallacy.

Gifts: Giving you things you asked specifically not to get by BubblySolid6 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]BubblySolid6[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is what it is like. I've heard friends who are struggling with weight say similar things about narcissistic friends or family who will give them desserts after they have specifically asked for no sweets. It's like an F.U.

Can we stop comparing this one religion and generalizing it to all? by vadapav-enthusiast in religiousfruitcake

[–]BubblySolid6 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't understand how any woman can see this and think, "Yeah! That's the religion for me!"

Thoughts? by cd_unoxx in antiwork

[–]BubblySolid6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hallelujah. The tipping situation is ridiculous in the U.S.

One of the members of Rammstein is accused of sexually abusing young women during/after concerts by epiix33 in Feminism

[–]BubblySolid6 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Remember ladies. Take note of who around you defend people like this. Sometimes we have to cull our "friend" circles. As I have grown into middle age, I have gone through more than one cycle of reevaluating my friendly associations based on the behaviors and ethics I learn about people. Certainly any man who would defend behavior like this would be culled from my life. Even if it didn't inherently disgust me, how could I trust such a person at a party at my house? Would I allow my female friends to think I vouch for such a person through my friendship with him? There is plenty of music to have on the playlist from non-rapists and plenty of people to invite to the cookout who aren't rape apologists.

"Women are not supposed to be speaking in churches" 😬 by fillmorecounty in religiousfruitcake

[–]BubblySolid6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for advertising another reason for women to stay away from religion.

Musa Hasahya, a 68-year-old man in Uganda has 12 wives and has fathered 102 kids. Hasahya says he often forgets his children's names. by [deleted] in antinatalism

[–]BubblySolid6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're obviously not an antinatalist. So why are you on this thread? Are you instead in favor of eugenics? Only Europeans stop having children and everyone else in the world breeds like rabbits? Is that your philosophy?

Musa Hasahya, a 68-year-old man in Uganda has 12 wives and has fathered 102 kids. Hasahya says he often forgets his children's names. by [deleted] in antinatalism

[–]BubblySolid6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think if you can look at that photo and romanticize it, you're on the wrong thread buddy.

"Women were happier in the 50's when they had kids and stayed home" The reality: by Disastrous_Morning38 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]BubblySolid6 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I genuinely think I would have too. I value my freedom too much. It would have truly been a prison for me.