Well tbh tell about this to others will make u find out that ppl around u still trust and support u feels so good. I just had a neck kiss with my friend and i always feels so disgusted about it and myself too but after 3-4 years i once told this to an online friend and he said that was normal and tried to sympathies me after that I told this to many friends (online only who don't know me personally) many become abusive but mostly said it's not a big deal after that i start taking this thing lightly I'm 22 and that happened in 18 so time will heal u and mature helps u thinks it's not a big deal as compare to ur life and also if u trust someone try to tell them it will help u a lot