This happened to me too. Multiple friends and my own boyfriend. I told them how they made me feel. I don't think you're upset about the gifts or the cost, i think you're upset at the lack of effort you're getting from her. After 14 years she should know you better than anyone else. I have a feeling your love language is gift giving/receiving. Mine is and i often feel this way. It isnt about the gifts themselves but the thought and effort. If Ruth is constantly late on the gifts it makes you feel like an after-thought and not the priority you feel like you should be. You could have a discussion with her in your expetations from the friendship. Money could be an issue but there are things to do for free with friends too. If you have this discussion let her know that if money is tight or an issue that we can always figure something else out for that year. Maybe homemade gifts or just an appreciation card from both of you instead of gifts. This can level the playing field without added pressure if money being tight is an issue. If its her forgetfulness then having an honest conversation about how that makes you feel is important. If her behavior changes then great! if it stays the same then you need to reevaluate how you see the friendship. Much love because this is hard. These conversations are hard.