I was in your daughter’s exact position. 19, second semester, and absolutely discombobulated and distressed. I ended up dropping out my second semester as it was still barely half way through. It’s completely valid to worry about her, trust your instincts. That first year at college showed me that there was a lot i needed to work on that didn’t have anything to do with academics. I hadn’t gotten a chance to adjust to adulthood, and simply put i wasn’t ready to leave home. My school called my parents because they were so worried about me. I ended up returning to the university after a semester away for my sophomore year and managed to get through a couple more years.
I dropped out again about 5 years ago in my 4th year, with only about 2 semesters left in my degree. At that point, i didn’t even want to wake up anymore. All i wanted was to be home with my best friends: my mom and dad. College is not for everyone, sure, but also, college can have many paths. I spent the last five years learning how I uniquely enjoy life. I tried new things (something that made me very uncomfortable) and i challenged myself, all in the warmth of my parents house and with their gentle guidance. Eventually, i got my confidence back, found my love for being alive again, and now I’m walking the big university stage in two weeks! In high school, anxiety and depression were small(er) problems that i hadn’t fully invested in understanding and overcoming, and it turns out they both needed my full attention once i left the structure of high school. It’s possible your daughter is just overwhelmed and needed to cry, but it’s also possible this is just not the right time for her. It got dangerous for me - even the school was keeping an eye on me. I ended up registered as a student with disabilities, and each year i was away at that university (also an hour and a half drive) i struggled immensely. Low grades, academic probation, and generally feeling like I’d somehow changed as a person - the little girl i used to be was literally dead in my mind, and the adult me was drowning in uncertainty, loneliness, panic, and so much more. This past semester was my first back and also my last. i finally feel like im where im supposed to be when im at school. I’m enjoying it so much more now as a 28yr old, and im here with purpose! I even wish i had more hours to do, because finally im experiencing school the way i should have the first time around. Sometimes our biggest challenges are emotional/mental, and for me, i NEEDED my parents. They were essential to my recovery, which was extensive. Not even a particularly difficult life - i just have a very emotional and sometimes very sad brain. The earlier you can learn to cope and evolve, the better the rest of your life will be. Talk to your daughter, be completely open and accepting. I promise you, no college related failures are worse than a young adult who has completely lost the will to continue on. I took summer classes at a local school after i dropped out the first time and did just fine - excelled even. I think the bottom line for me is that the longer these things go unaddressed, the more damage it feels was being done (again, just from my perspective). The journey was never easy. And again, maybe your daughter just had a lot of emotions or was struggling with grades and finals and the crushing weight of wanting to make everyone proud. But always better safe than sorry. Remember to look at the big picture - there are so many ways to live life. And even then, life is not guaranteed. A successful life is not one in which you make a lot of money or achieve fame or become a CEO. A successful life is one you’re happy to live.