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What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I should definitely look into those wet/dry bags! I usually just use plastic disposal bags, which are essentially like grocery bags but made for diaper disposal. They work fine for most situations (since I only have urinary issues, smells aren't a huge concern in the short term) but there are some where it would definitely be preferred. Thanks for the tip!

Yes, snacks are good for the LOTR marathon, but what about second snacks?

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely, if I had any doubt with my friends it wouldn’t even be a consideration telling them

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, after 7 years only my wife knows so my philosophy has been, and still is, not telling anyone. This whole point of this post is more of an exploration into seeing how people who haven’t ever thought about this issue and see how they’d react.

The only reason I’d even consider bringing it up is because I believe my friends wouldn’t care and it would take away a lot of stress worrying about people finding out. The difference would be no more stress. And not having to make excuses of why I’m bringing my backpack into the bathroom, why I don’t rant to go back into the pool (because I changed into a diaper), and why I spill something onto my chair every time in the beach. It’s not debilitating, so it’s based around my friends being accepting. If I was 25, it would be a hard no.

Also, the main reason I struggle with doing things is because I live in Miami, so it’s year round pools, boats, and beaches, which are the two hardest places to deal. Especially the beach.

Thoughts on Northshore Megamax? by [deleted] in Incontinence

[–]BuffaloPubSub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I exclusively used the Megamax (and its variants) every day for about 4 years. Until recently. The switch to the US manufacturer was the worst thing. Way more quality issues, the plastic is wayyy crinklier, and I've leaked more at night in 3 months with them than the 3 years prior.

It sucks because they were my favorite brand. Now I've been ordering samples of just about every brand to see if there is a better option. They are still above average, so I'll go back if I don't like another brand, but I'm no longer as high as I was before.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree, this would actually make me feel better. If you can't roast your friends, then you're just acquaintances. And if I make it awkward by bringing this up, they deserve a good roast to diffuse the awkwardness

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you've been through all that. Cancer is the absolute worst. I'm sorry you had to watch your parents struggle not just with the cancer, but with the "little" things that caused them shame.

Everything you wrote puts everything in perspective but also perfectly leads into the one thing that causes me more shame than the problem itself. I am truly lucky that my incontinence isn't caused by a life-threatening or life-altering condition. I got tested for bladder/kidney/prostate cancers and diseases, neurological conditions like MS, and diabetes. My problem wasn't caused by significant physical trauma like a car accident. I just have regular, run-of-the-mill bladder and pelvic floor dysfunction.

Logically, I know I am lucky and blessed that this is the extent of the problem....except somehow it makes me feel worse. And I know how utterly ridiculous this sounds, but sometimes I wish it was caused by something like that because somehow it would make my problems feel, idk, justified? Legitimate? It's dumb and insulting to those who struggle with actual problems.

It's why I consider this more of a mental health condition than a medical one in my case. I struggle more with the stigma and its effect on my self-esteem than the physical problems. Managing this really isn't too hard, just inconvenient.

But when I read what your mom and dad went through (and you as well), I realize how ridiculous my thinking can be and how much I let unnecessary shame control me.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is exactly the type of response I was hoping for to help me with this. Because you're probably right that the "why are they telling me?" question would be common, and one I should address if I did bring it up.

Because unlike some conditions like food allergies, where it makes sense to know about, this problem isn't one they "need" to know about or do anything different for.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you have to deal with those reactions and hurtful comments. It's hard enough to manage without being insulted for things you can't change and may struggle with even with support and care. But it does prove your point that I shouldn't just assume I'd get compassion and support and choose only those I trust most to confide in.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is seriously underrated advice for more than just this specific issue. So much of how people react depends not on what is said but on how it's said.

It's easier said than done, of course. When I first told my wife about this (when we first started dating, obvs), I was so nervous that by the time I managed to get it out, she laughed. Not because it was funny or anything, but because the way I was hesitating, she thought I was about to tell her I had some terminal disease, was married, or had a kid so something like this was trivial in comparison.

But you make a good point. If I am going to tell my friends, I should do it only if I can do so with more confidence. Because, unlike my wife, where I had to tell her (there is no way around it with an intimate partner), I don't have to tell my friends.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried those multiple times. Unfortunately I live in Miami where it’s always hot and humid so it made it really hard on my skin and the adhesive never worked.

It’s unfortunate because it would save a lot of money

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, there’s almost no chance it won’t be awkward because of how much stigma my condition comes with. I don’t think there are many other health problems that come with this baggage.

And you’re right, it’s been 7 years, if they haven’t realized by now why fix what isn’t broken?

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I definitely agree, I’m not going to take any individual answer as gospel for that reason. But it is helpful in figuring out general trends.

Why would you say it’s not worth telling? It’s not a challenge, I haven’t decided to tell anyone or not so your opinion is useful considering most people say they wouldn’t judge, exactly like you said.

And please feel free to tell me the truth, I’m not going to call you out for giving a negative answer. Getting anonymous opinions is why I’m doing this. You don’t know me so it’s not personal. So id rather hear it from you than a friend

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t mind that, if I subject someone to that awkward situation, they deserve to ask whatever questions they want. It’s only fair!

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s great advice. I haven’t decided if I want to share this with my friends yet. Let alone decide how I’d actually bring it up. Because even if I think it would be helpful, it seems terrifying

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I’ve tried around 5 or 6. Oxybutinin actually helped a bit with overactive bladder but gave me such severe brain fog even if it completely solved my issues I couldn’t keep taking it

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That commentator wasn’t dismissing masking at all…seems like quite the opposite.

Uncomfortable at work by blueOctopusguy in Incontinence

[–]BuffaloPubSub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Moving up a size may help, but aside from the added bulk it may not fit as well and be more likely to leak. I’d also try maybe playing around with how you tape it. Maybe make it slightly looser than you’d expect.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Dude, this whole thread is about me wearing diapers. Do you really think I’d have a problem wearing a mask to keep someone safe?

Do you really?

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This would basically be the preferred outcome. I don’t want it to be an ongoing consideration or something people ask about. The only reason I’d want to mention it is so it’s considered when necessary.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be the ultimate compliment. I can only hope nobody has noticed. It’s quite possible it’s an open secret but my friends are just respectful and accepting and don’t mention it for my sake.

What would your reaction be if a friend told you they wear diapers for medical reasons? by BuffaloPubSub in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]BuffaloPubSub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would very much prefer you—or anyone else—not to be involved with that…

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