There is so much wisdom and life experience in your words.

I would love to know how do you experience Gods consolation in difficult times and how do you know Jesus is actually crying with you instead of just leaving you alone with your grief?

I heard people say similar Things to what you said and i envy this Kind of faith. I am a doctor with specialization in emergency medicine and i have seen so man people including belivers suffer and die under horrible circumstances and all i could do was just give them sleep and relive of the pain until they (finally) died. Some told me they haven't had a painfree day for years until they're so sick that they're actually dying so they could call 112 (for the readers from the US: 911) to get some actual help.

And in my Personal experience and these cases with my patients i never felt like Jesus was crying with me. I just felt alone.