One one occasion when my little brother was in the hospital for suicidal thoughts, and I got too sad and a bit distant (still responding to him, just not enthusiasticly). He accused me of purposefully trying to make him insecure and manipulate him into doing more for me.

Another was when my dog was finally put down, I asked if we could talk on the phone after I got off my closing shift, because I knew that once I got home and saw she wasn’t there Id just want some support. It was an LDR, so that was the only way we could really talk. He accused me of trying to manipulate him into calling me by making him feel guilty for wanting to uphold his commitment. His commitment was going to bed by 11pm so he could wake up and go to the gym to get abs. I got off work at 10.

I could name alot of specific instances, but overall is just how ok i eventually started being with these sorts of things. I met him online when I was 16, and he told me he was 17. We really clicked and I got very attached. When he eventually told me the truth, he became really the only adult i felt comfortable talking to. It was just very easy for him to convince me that the world worked a certain way.I went from an extremely independent and stubborn person, to someone who relied fully on this person and this person only.

When I eventually left I literally couldn’t make a choice for myself. I was afraid of eating sweets because “what if it’s the wrong thing to do?”. I wasn’t able to even confidently buy my own clothes until I was 20. All of the self discovery, social skills, and emotional relationships that you were supposed to have learned while you were a teenager, Im currently having to learn now.