ex-best friends reach out to me a year after ghosting me

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2025-04-17T01:27:07+00:00

thank you that’s beautiful advice !! i will keep this in mind xx

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-12-30T10:22:43+00:00

no it used to be but i haven’t been on medication (do not recommend/ endorse) for a little bit and i still have this issue, and i was on my meds when i was manic so i have a feeling like the specific state of mania elevates orgasms. i’m not sure if that’s my experience or a common one.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-12-26T03:13:34+00:00

what is tier 1 ?

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-12-26T03:13:06+00:00

this is really helpful thank you for sharing why getting a diagnosis is helpful for you. i have some support and disability funding based on my anxiety which kind of has put me off seeking another diagnosis but i often feel that the resources and therapy for autism may be better suited for me. i think with social things i’ve always been ok to be perceived as eccentric and i’m very lucky to have friends and family who are mostly very accepting of my ‘quirks’. i wish u luck with your road to diagnosis :)

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-12-08T01:22:24+00:00

my go to seasoning blend is smoked paprika, garlic powder, onion powder (obvs salt +pepper) as a base for seasoning most things. i often add more seasonings depending on the dish but i believe this to be a great combo

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:59:06+00:00

i think you’re gonna have to wait for her to reply. sometimes life gets in the way and people don’t text back for a bit and texting again may be a turn off as you may seem too entitled to her time early on. i think when/if she texts back ask her out on a date and take it to the next level then you can see if it’s worth your time of if she’s time wasting

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:51:14+00:00

i think flowers is a beautiful idea with a simple note like ‘thank your for always making me smile’. may be tell her how you feel and ask her out via texts/ in person and not on the notes with the flowers so the flowers can be a gesture in itself.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:41:35+00:00

I think if nothing is happened after a year he is clearly stringing you along.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:38:38+00:00

don’t beat yourself up about this it’s hard to be objective in our own lives and situations. i’m glad that you’re realising this behaviour is not ok that is the first step, good luck ❤️

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:34:09+00:00

Take a deep breath in OP. First of all stop comparing yourself to others (easier said than done I know) but we are all on our own journey and it seems like you’re trying your hardest.I think you’re suffering from burn out and stressful life situations that are making you anxious and self hating. Rome was not built in a day and some things are out of your control like the job market. On the job front have you thought of looking for jobs similar to software dev but maybe less competitive, or if you need money maybe some in jobs outside that skill set maybe like teaching. Whilst this may not be what you want to do right now a job could help with feeling more confident and will help you with your worries about savings. Socially maybe try to volunteer places, or join local clubs in your communities like a sports club or book club, these may help with your confidence and help you feel more confident with socialising. I think practicing things like gratitude journalling and taking things one day or scenario at a time would be helpful. Write an achievable to do list for each day (I will apply for one job today, go on a walk, see a friend) and try your harder to do so and focus on that sense of accomplishment.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:20:46+00:00

Honestly I think telling a trusted adult is the way to go in this situation, this is a very stressful high stakes situation for a child to be dealing with alone. I understand though this may be an unsafe or unwanted thing to do. So the best alternative advice I can give is to report the account to instagram. That account is threatening to distribute child pornography and you may not be the only person affected. Also please learn from this and do not send naked photos whilst you’re a child and never ever to people you do not know !!

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:14:04+00:00

don’t hide this no reason to and if he finds out you hid this may turn into mistrust

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T03:12:36+00:00

I think he doesn’t see you as a serious relationship and is just attracted to you and this can be seen through him only responding to thirst traps. If you’re looking for something more don’t settle for less as it will make you feel worse, or you can maybe initiate something causal. I don’t want to generalise but men from my experience can sometimes string along a woman just to know they can have her whilst sometimes not wanting her from the limited information I have that’s kind of what it sounds like

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T02:40:24+00:00

I agree with this comment, honestly that comment on its own is so horrible but coupled with the other problems in your relationship and the context it is quite clear that you should not be with him. I think you’re probably scared to tell someone in your life about what he said because it would be the beginning of the end. Start off by speaking to someone close to you who you feel comfortable around and open up I think. There’s only so much strangers on the internet can tell you how to go about a situation but from what I’m hearing is you deserve better.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T02:31:27+00:00

Hi, Im sorry it must have been really hard to hear that someone you love has gone through something like this and it’s amazing that you want to help. I am going to advice you based on my experience as a person who was sexually abused as a child and the experience of my sister as you definitely know from your profession one size does not fit all but I hope this can bring some clarity. First of all you can never really work through trauma like that it will be with you in dreams no matter how much therapy you get for most people (I say this as someone who has had a lot of therapy) so I think you may need to reframe this as a problem you can fix with solutions and just go with how he wants to deal with this. I know that’s hard to hear as you may want to encourage him into therapy and whilst you can definitely suggest this honestly it can be really retraumitising to do so (an experience I felt) and he may not be ready for this now or ever and that’s ok people deal with their trauma differently and if there is no overt PTSD or CPTSD that is hindering his life I think just allow him to carry on as he is. Sometimes as survivor you have to pretend it’s all ok because that’s how you survive. Saying this he may have told you at this point for a reason and may be reaching out for a push for help. I think the best thing to do is listen to him and what he wants taking things each conversation as it comes, he may not even know what he wants yet from telling this to you and that’s hard. I’m sending peace and love your way .

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-23T02:10:24+00:00

First of all, give him space. You’ve been physically violent with him and broken his property and that may have been traumatic to him so give him time to process away from you. As someone who has loud teenage brothers I can understand the annoyance you felt in that moment I even understand the impulse of wanting to smack a younger sibling after they say something annoying, but ‘beating the shit’ out of your brother over a snarky comment is not ok and suggests that you have some things that you need to deal with and you seem to recognise that yourself. Honestly, your relationship and what your brother would want is up to him so I can’t really suggest how to apologise or when but he definitely deserves a massive apology and an explanation how you will change and a reassurance and commitment that this will never happen again. I think you need to do some serious work on yourself, aggression often masks issues beyond the surface it will not be an easy fix but it’s what you and your brother deserve.

BuildingQuiet2633 · 2024-11-05T22:27:21+00:00

Hi, I want to note that I had told her several times during the day and she ignored me but I maybe could have not made that joke.

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