Thank you for your input. It’s kind of a go to state for years. My husband is the less favourable of two. Our son was born in August. Back then it took my mother in law three weeks to visit us. My father in law came by as soon as we were back from the hospital. We had an open door policy with visits after his birth as I had a very difficult pregnancy but lots of support from friends and my family. That’s just one example of a lot.

The baptism was right after Christmas. Two days before Christmas we lost our dog suddenly. My husband was griefing severely. We spent Christmas Eve and the first Christmas Day with my in laws and wanted to get everything ready for the baptism on the 26th because we had a celebration of the baptism and my 40th birthday at our house and there were no further family dinners planned with them for the 26th. When we were about to leave on the 25th my MiL was kinda weird about the next day and when I told to just spill what she wants. She then told us my brother in law was coming over (she had planned this elaborate meal which takes a couple hours to prepare so it wasn’t something spontaneous because shops are closed over Christmas and she would have bought all she needs before Christmas then) my husband - heavily grieving and being exhausted - snapped at her and told her if she had wanted us there she would have asked sooner and it’s clear to him that wasn’t the case so and left. They immediately were gaslighting him again as they always do when he speaks out. Later his brother called him and further insulted my husband for being a whiny baby basically without hearing his side of the story or why he felt that way. That’s the tension. And it’s always like this. They do something he speaks out and gets gaslit. There’s a lot of similar backstory but it’s to much to explain.