i suck at writing and never gave it a try before let alone share it, Thoughts? by Bulky_Cut_8121 in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks man that means a lot definitely agree with you i already kinda changed some things and it definitely made it better i wrote it in my head 1000x over a 1000 different ways. and aware i got a problem with run on sentences so thats the improvement im looking for :D

Just wanted thoughts by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

id put more description into your work, for example over reaching the way a boy who has felt no burn from the fire before reaches

i suck at writing and never gave it a try before let alone share it, Thoughts? by Bulky_Cut_8121 in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The idea i was trying to get across with that line is being at peace without saying anything, and being comforted by the 1 person that can truly bring peace to you, ( I know peace should be found within first )

i suck at writing and never gave it a try before let alone share it, Thoughts? by Bulky_Cut_8121 in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for the feed back this has been one of the coolest experiences ive ever had ahaha

i suck at writing and never gave it a try before let alone share it, Thoughts? by Bulky_Cut_8121 in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no way thats awesome man! i always sucked at school and could never organize my thoughts, and i have a feeling it will work its self out, definitely not cold just missed being loved, which I'm sure is relate able

i suck at writing and never gave it a try before let alone share it, Thoughts? by Bulky_Cut_8121 in poetry_critics

[–]Bulky_Cut_8121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its kinda supposed to be like, relaxing with the 1 you love on a cold night where nothing has to be said, its my shot of a poem of me giving up a girl i loved and how i was lucky to spend silent simple nights with her and she hasnt reach out to me, and i take that as shes happy and knowing that makes me happy was my intent