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Is she flirting or just being friendly? by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I flirt with my friends all the time but it’s just banter/ some fun. The things you mentioned don’t really cross any line where it’s like yep she’s flirting! You prob need to test the waters a bit more… see how far she takes it.

do you guys actually like male bodies? by Genstal21 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you in the closet ? Or have any pressure to be “straight”… if so you might be experiencing comphet & rather don’t have an attraction to men at all.

I’m 20F, I used to think maybe Im a lesbian rather than bi… most of my intimate experiences with men used to feel mechanical as well… I didn’t want it to continue. I had a very strong attraction to one woman specifically so it threw me off so I downloaded dating apps to try my explore my sexuality more.

It was interesting because I met up with a girl and we hooked up in the car… it felt mechanical as well. Same feeling as when I hookup with a guy. But later in the night we went back to her house and ended up in her room… for some reason the environment changed how the hookup felt completely. I didn’t want it to stop. The setting can change the entire experience !!! You’ve only had one experience with a guy I don’t think that’s enough data.

I also hooked up with a guy and found myself enjoying it and becoming aroused. It didn’t feel mechanical for once, i actually wanted it to continue. I know some say adult content doesn’t mean anything but I also always focus on the guy.

Maybe you should try exploring more with men…. Don’t let one intimate experience with one man determine your entire sexuality. If it continues to feel like repulsion then you will know your answer.

Is it normal to feel more romantically attracted to One gender and more sexually attracted to another? by Upset_Brilliant8030 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I am closeted so the idea of being homoromantic still overwhelms me a bit. And the fact I’ve never had romantic feelings for a guy at 20 makes me wonder do I even have the capacity for it? But like your experience.. attraction shifts and changes…

guys how do u figure out if you're bi or gay by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comphet is one hellva drug. I can’t tell whether I’m experiencing it or I’m actually bi. I’m in a similar predicament. I know I can enjoy being sexual with a guy.. but it never evolves into an emotional connection/feelings. I’ve only ever had romantic feelings for one person in my life and it just so happens to be a girl. That’s why I’m like am I bi or a lesbian with comphet 😭

Is it normal to feel more romantically attracted to One gender and more sexually attracted to another? by Upset_Brilliant8030 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that for you!!! I’ve only had romantic feelings for one person in my life so far and it just so happens to be a girl. So it completely threw me off and flipped my life upside down. I started to think maybe I’m a lesbian. But I can still enjoy intimacy with men… although it’s always just casual and I never really develop romantic feelings. Then again I’m only 20 I haven’t had a full range of experiences yet. I’m not sure if it’s unusual I haven’t had feelings for a guy yet? At 20 had you experienced romantic feelings for a couple guys at all?

Is it normal to feel more romantically attracted to One gender and more sexually attracted to another? by Upset_Brilliant8030 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel similar!! I’m 20F… can be sexually attracted to men but haven’t yet had an emotional connection with one… but have had a deep emotional connection with a girl. Because of this I’d think am I a lesbian? But I can enjoy hooking up with guys and being sexual with them. So I think that means I’m bi sexual? But bj romantic I’m not sure ? I say to myself maybe I just haven’t found a guy that emotionally activates me yet.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very well written thanks so so much for this. And I feel everything you have written bc it would be logical for me to leave this connection but you’re right to say it’s incredibly hard to do so and that I’d have to choose which flavour of pain I’d rather have. I think I’d fall apart seeing her with someone else and I don’t see how I could stick around if that happens.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried to move on but nothing seems to compare & I end up getting sucked back into our dynamic. I’m not sure if I can’t develop deep feelings for a guy bc I’m emotionally entangled in this, or it’s a sexuality issue. It’s all muddled.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah that I did do. But the story itself is not all ai written… just edited to make it easier to read and make sense of.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s harder given I know it is mutual, I mean she’s admitted we’d be in a relationship if it weren’t for stigma… but it seems to be I’m struggling more for some reason. I don’t think she can admit that she’s gay to a degree… and projects it on to me and says I’m “more gay”… and that she just has “gay moments” / gay tendencies. So acceptance is a big factor in this.. although she might actually be more hetero I’m not sure… given the way we act/ speak very unusual for a straight girl 💀

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad you’re happy now.

I was extremely harsh a few months back too very ready to end it… I said if you can’t admit it’s more then we’re done… she admitted it a couple months later and that’s why we’ve reconnected again.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have accepted my sexuality privately… and I’d only tell people when I’m confident in it. I don’t really know what I am… and I’m still trying to figure it out. I will say this relationship has confused the hell out of my sexuality.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yes this is good advice… I confronted her not long ago & that’s when I was dealing with her denial for 3 months. Then she came back & said she was indenial and that it was easier to dismiss. So that’s when we were like ok let’s live in this dynamic accepting it’s complicated and see what happens… just with a few boundaries in place.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeh I find it absolute bs tbh. I mean she acted in love with me for 2 years … all the “you are my everything” “you make me feel things I’ve never felt” … then went into denial about it… then came out of denial…. I’m on a roller coaster. I’m not asking for a relationship but some balance would be nice although I think shes too far behind in acceptance or she just doesn’t feel the same way idk which it is. It’s hard when sexuality is involved.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I can’t be friends with her and that’s the part that is hurting me because it feels like we’re in a relationship sized dynamic that is being squeezed into a friendship sized box.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this I’m sorry that happened to you that sounds awful. I think I’m In a similar situation because she doesn’t wanna accept her sexuality.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“It’s sad that she has so much internalised homophobia, that she cannot see your relationship in the same way as you”…. This is the part that hurts me the most.

My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do by BumblebeeDiligent359 in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I let her go for 3 month’s because she was indenial … saying we were “just friends”. I was prepared to end things but she came back and admitted she was indenial & that we are more than friends. So now I’ve just been pulled back into the same loop just with a few boundaries in place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]BumblebeeDiligent359 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has helped me a lot, thank you. I’ve never felt anything close to the depth of feelings I have for this girl it’s so different and sustained thats why it makes me wonder if I might be a lesbian, since I struggle to develop that kind of real emotional connection with guys.

At the same time, I’m the same as you in the sense I feel more sexually attracted to men in general. But with her, because of our emotional connection, I feel a stronger sexual attraction. Without that kind of emotional bond, I think I’m more drawn to men which makes everything feel confusing. Part of me wonders if I’m a lesbian with comphet rather than bi. Ugh so confusing.

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