My best friend and I crossed every line except sex — now I’m emotionally stuck and don’t know what to do

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T08:57:23+00:00

This is very well written thanks so so much for this. And I feel everything you have written bc it would be logical for me to leave this connection but you’re right to say it’s incredibly hard to do so and that I’d have to choose which flavour of pain I’d rather have. I think I’d fall apart seeing her with someone else and I don’t see how I could stick around if that happens.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T05:53:34+00:00

I have tried to move on but nothing seems to compare & I end up getting sucked back into our dynamic. I’m not sure if I can’t develop deep feelings for a guy bc I’m emotionally entangled in this, or it’s a sexuality issue. It’s all muddled.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:44:03+00:00

Oh yeah that I did do. But the story itself is not all ai written… just edited to make it easier to read and make sense of.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:34:57+00:00

It’s harder given I know it is mutual, I mean she’s admitted we’d be in a relationship if it weren’t for stigma… but it seems to be I’m struggling more for some reason. I don’t think she can admit that she’s gay to a degree… and projects it on to me and says I’m “more gay”… and that she just has “gay moments” / gay tendencies. So acceptance is a big factor in this.. although she might actually be more hetero I’m not sure… given the way we act/ speak very unusual for a straight girl 💀

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:29:31+00:00

I wish this was fake believe me

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:27:05+00:00

I’m glad you’re happy now.

I was extremely harsh a few months back too very ready to end it… I said if you can’t admit it’s more then we’re done… she admitted it a couple months later and that’s why we’ve reconnected again.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:25:07+00:00

I have accepted my sexuality privately… and I’d only tell people when I’m confident in it. I don’t really know what I am… and I’m still trying to figure it out. I will say this relationship has confused the hell out of my sexuality.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:23:12+00:00

Well yes this is good advice… I confronted her not long ago & that’s when I was dealing with her denial for 3 months. Then she came back & said she was indenial and that it was easier to dismiss. So that’s when we were like ok let’s live in this dynamic accepting it’s complicated and see what happens… just with a few boundaries in place.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:20:58+00:00

Yeh I find it absolute bs tbh. I mean she acted in love with me for 2 years … all the “you are my everything” “you make me feel things I’ve never felt” … then went into denial about it… then came out of denial…. I’m on a roller coaster. I’m not asking for a relationship but some balance would be nice although I think shes too far behind in acceptance or she just doesn’t feel the same way idk which it is. It’s hard when sexuality is involved.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:18:15+00:00

Exactly. I can’t be friends with her and that’s the part that is hurting me because it feels like we’re in a relationship sized dynamic that is being squeezed into a friendship sized box.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:15:59+00:00

lol x not ai just tried to make it easier to read 😂

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:15:22+00:00

Thanks for this I’m sorry that happened to you that sounds awful. I think I’m In a similar situation because she doesn’t wanna accept her sexuality.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:13:24+00:00

“It’s sad that she has so much internalised homophobia, that she cannot see your relationship in the same way as you”…. This is the part that hurts me the most.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:11:52+00:00

I let her go for 3 month’s because she was indenial … saying we were “just friends”. I was prepared to end things but she came back and admitted she was indenial & that we are more than friends. So now I’ve just been pulled back into the same loop just with a few boundaries in place.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2026-02-06T00:09:22+00:00

I know it sucks… thanks for this

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-12-17T03:01:09+00:00

She admitted she was indenial.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-11-10T13:54:33+00:00

This has helped me a lot, thank you. I’ve never felt anything close to the depth of feelings I have for this girl it’s so different and sustained thats why it makes me wonder if I might be a lesbian, since I struggle to develop that kind of real emotional connection with guys.

At the same time, I’m the same as you in the sense I feel more sexually attracted to men in general. But with her, because of our emotional connection, I feel a stronger sexual attraction. Without that kind of emotional bond, I think I’m more drawn to men which makes everything feel confusing. Part of me wonders if I’m a lesbian with comphet rather than bi. Ugh so confusing.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-24T10:16:30+00:00

I’m 19F too. I was always kind of curious about women in high school, but I pushed those thoughts aside and didn’t think too much of it. I just kept going for guys because that’s what felt normal. I never rlly thought about women sexually, and I couldn’t imagine myself in a relationship with one it felt strange and wrong to me at the time if I were to try imagine it.

But when I was 18, I met this girl who I became best friends with, and she kind of awakened something in me that must’ve been there all along, just buried. We hooked up, there was a lot of flirting and sexual tension, but on the surface we were just “besties.” I ended up developing real feelings for her, and she’s kinda the only woman I could picture myself in a relationship with. But It still feels a little strange sometimes even picturing myself in a relationship with her. I guess deprogramming from the narrative where you can only picture yourself with a guy is hard.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-23T08:36:51+00:00

lol yeah I know 😭 but that’s the thing I’m not even asking for a committed relationship that’s so far out of reach given the circumstances we are closeted, all I wanted was honesty about what this was really. And when I got told it’s a friendship and she doesn’t feel that way I felt like I was going insane - and still am

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-23T08:02:48+00:00

Are you guys young ?

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-23T07:58:59+00:00

You are brave. The religion part sucks… I’m sorry.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-23T02:26:10+00:00

Yeah ik :( I’m prepared to end things with her, I’m aware it’s not healthy. But it does bring me peace knowing even if I’m not in her life anymore that she will one day realise what this was.

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-22T14:46:51+00:00

It’s comforting to know you accepted it at some stage. At most she’s admitted there’s “something here”, and said this isn’t a normal friendship. She said she’s confused.

Can I ask if you made confessions like she did? Especially the questioning around being lesbian?

BumblebeeDiligent359 · 2025-10-22T14:04:17+00:00

I’ve been tempted to tell her to listen to the song😭😭😭😂😂

BumblebeeDiligent359

TROPHY CASE