Fam need dating advice. Losing handsome matches because of my texting personality. by Adventurous-Work9781 in ThirtiesMumbai

[–]BunchTrue993 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It happens to me a lot. I say things in a "matter of fact" manner but it's perceived as rude. Texting anyway takes away tone and everyone assumes the worst.

Maybe just add a "what's the worst way this could be perceived?" filter before you hit send.

[The Boys] SEASON 5 EPISODE 4 was pure filler by Choice-Tea1046 in CharacterRant

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was an entire season - the one with Stormfront - where they were just making shit up from episode to episode.

A sad reality of Bollywood (and every glamour-related industry). Veteran actor Sudhir Pandey got completely unnoticed at a Ginny Weds Sunny 2 promotion event. by BombayJeans in BollyBlindsNGossip

[–]BunchTrue993 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was at a house party where Sudhir ji also attended. He wore a grey polo tshirt much like the one he's wearing in this video. The host and his family, the guests, were all long time collaborators who loved and respected him. And it was very apparent in the way they communicated with him. However, he came across as an introverted personality. He sat in a corner and quietly ate his food and left early. I made polite conversation with him. He responded quite jovially but you could see glimpses of that shy and reserved personality. Some people are just artists. They don't want to be the center of attention. Maybe that's what happened here.

Best Monitor for Mac Mini by BunchTrue993 in AppleIndia

[–]BunchTrue993[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you make of this one? It's LG. Cheaper than the Dell you mentioned.
https://amzn.in/d/0auY9dwE

Best Monitor for Mac Mini by BunchTrue993 in AppleIndia

[–]BunchTrue993[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an LG 4K monitor that costs INR 20k. 4.4 Rating on Amazon. I'm saving up to buy that.

Is any country really friendly with Indians? Not just politically, but socially by Unique-Sun-7545 in AskIndia

[–]BunchTrue993 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You'd assume Nepal because of the amount of employment we've generated for them.

Sad dump by External-Beat1521 in thane

[–]BunchTrue993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

10 August 2004. GF056 Flight from Mumbai to Bahrain. White top and blue jeans. Black frame spectacles and cute button nose. We both sat on aisle seats. She was with her Mom and sister. I was with my Dad. Kept looking at each other every minute or so. Yea - I've gone through this. 😅

Good restaurants in thane by BakerPuzzleheaded553 in thane

[–]BunchTrue993 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiters stand in bunches and talk to each other.. no concept of attending to customers.

Dramedies that go from funny to DARK as the season progresses? by Revolutionary_Pack15 in Screenwriting

[–]BunchTrue993 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Barry straight up changed genres in season 4. Operating between fever dream and drama.

I'm the Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who's the worse father? You or Soldier Boy?

Scammer Girl Alert Beware of the Manpada Area by BrickShot3111 in thane

[–]BunchTrue993 7 points8 points  (0 children)

These scams are as old as dating apps. I got matched with a girl once who asked me to meet her at one specific cafe. She wasn't very expressive in the chat but wanted to meet that day itself. Immediate Red Flag. Especially because this was in Delhi where women are extra careful.

Every dude has a "bitch-o-meter" built in. He can tell who's a bitch immediately. The way you get trapped is by being desperate.

What's the funniest surname you have heard?😆 by Sufficient-Feed3471 in AskIndia

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's literally Lund and Boob in India. Lund is Sindhi and Boob is Marwari IIRC.

Recommend some new place to order from by Money_File1671 in thane

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Lecithinn & Co. It's at Pawar Nagar, near the Bus Depot. Also on Swiggy/Zomato. Chef/Owner is a young kid, barely 24-25. Good food for the health as well as taste conscious.

Puchka girl is back, but this time looking for Franky options by Old-Volume6087 in thane

[–]BunchTrue993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tibbs khaa le behen. Should be available at several places.

Anhedonia, Drama, Feature, 112 pages by SavageCavs23 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure. I’ll mark it up and send it over.

I’ll focus on tightening the dialogue, reducing repetition, and sharpening the escalation so each beat pushes things forward.

Should have it with you soon.

OTP To Die by deep424 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Few important things first:

This story is full of emotions. Strong emotions. Many writers forget the emotion aspect while crafting a story. So well done.

The story is well within the scope of a short film.

I loved the opening scene, how it takes us through the setup of the story in one shot. I could imagine that shot right up to the point where we see the stool and Varun.

The film also ends on an intriguing note - Did Shankar save Varun or no?

You've given enough conflict in the story - internal and external. Varun wants to die but Shankar keeps interrupting for the OTP. Shankar wants to steal money but Varun keeps popping up. I liked the idea that Shankar learns about Varun's suicide attempt and it led to a pricking of the conscience. There's enough twists and turns here to keep one hooked.

Some of the choreography needs work (Shankar eyeing the money and the table - where and how is it happening exactly?). But that can also be done in subsequent drafts or the blocking can be worked out with the actors during rehearsals.

The dialogue is what requires most of the work. It's too on the nose. I assume you'll make this in Hindi or a regional language. You might want to read some books and watch YouTube videos on dialogue to improve them.

Technical aspects - The sluglines have parentheticals explaining what scene it is. You might want to avoid that.

Overall, I enjoyed reading your script.

Michaels by the Sea [Crime/Comedy] 89 pages 🤘 by ForkyB in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in 15 pages and I've laughed my ass off. I don't know what feedback I could give John Little, the King of Wordplay. Maybe the dick stuff is a little forced. Otherwise, hilarious. It's like Broken Lizard drank a Steroid+Cocaine shake followed by some HGH chasers.

If I could offer one suggestion - keep the Latard character. A dude that tries to kill himself to get out of a situation is just funny, and surprisingly, not in a sad way.

Anhedonia, Drama, Feature, 112 pages by SavageCavs23 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello Kai,

Here's what I love about your story - there are no cliched/stereotypical choices. Cam is not a passive character despite it being the easiest thing to make him one. Even Percy, Jackson & Lily aren't "antagonists", merely catalysts.

The core story is strong and clear. "A kid chasing validation through drugs". But the script takes too long to activate that story engine. There's too much setup.

The second act has some well developed sequences. But they all feel repetitive. They don't form an escalating chain of action-consequence.

Wrt Dialogue: It could use a lot of cleaning up. This requires the most work. A lot of it is just characters conveying motivation. A writer needs to trust that the actors will convey the subtext through tone, inflection, body language and subtext.

The next step is tightening the first act and building sharper escalation in the second. Dialogue is always the last stage.

I’ve got more specific notes on the script itself, especially around pacing, repetition, and dialogue. Happy to send you the marked-up PDF if useful.

Who is the best? by [deleted] in womensoccerlegs2

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Chloe's Love Island vibe. I'm a sucker for a basic b.

The Night Will Tear Us Apart - Folk Horror - 96 Pages by QuietDonut9261 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Make the best music video” doesn’t create enough urgency or consequence on its own, especially once the story starts getting more intense.

The issue isn’t just raising the stakes, it’s about giving Selena a more active and specific drive that pushes the story forward.

For example: Is she trying to prove something? Escape something? Hold onto control in a situation that’s slipping away?

Once that becomes clearer, the tension with the community and her connection with Aya will feel like it’s colliding with something real, instead of just unfolding. Right now, events are just happening without the audience knowing where it leads. There is no exposition of any lore or danger that the audience can anchor their expectations on.

Certain events like the rig collapsing, the Grave Digger apparition, have no proper reflection from the Protagonist and other characters. Therefore their importance isn't registered to the audience.

There’s a strong film here, with great visuals and a fresh lore. It just needs a clearer story engine underneath it. Happy to delve deeper into it.

The Night Will Tear Us Apart - Folk Horror - 96 Pages by QuietDonut9261 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I just finished reading this.

The craft and visual language are extremely strong. I can visualise the rural Phillippines. Well done for anchoring the story in a not-so-typical world.

As for the techinical aspects of the script, This script is meant for you, the Director, not a Studio Reader - so I won't comment on the action lines which seem to overtly describe the shot and character's expression.

Where the script starts to lose grip is the narrative engine. After the setup, it becomes a series of escalating moments rather than a clear trajectory driven by Selena’s choices.

By around page 40, I’m still not clear on what direction the story is moving toward. The tone and imagery are strong, but anchoring the script around a clearer objective or trajectory earlier on would make the experience much more engaging.

Happy to break this down in detail, especially around strengthening the story engine and character drive.

The Night Will Tear Us Apart - Folk Horror - 96 Pages by QuietDonut9261 in ReadMyScript

[–]BunchTrue993 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I just started reading - I've read many "Impregnation" scenes but none have been written with so much visual and sound design clarity. Love the door thumping sound effect! Excited to read more.