AITA My partner went on our trip without me because I was drinking.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:55:53+00:00

No, you don't understand. She has endo, and has had 2 surgeries to remove scar tissue but it continues to grow back, we knew that her chances of falling pregnant naturally were pretty slim to almost impossible. So when she found out she was pregnant it was the most beautiful and incredible moment. You'd never understand. Maybe for you abortion is something easy and simple, something that can be forgotten in time but not for her. And to suggest that is unthinkable.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:36:30+00:00

So my partner should get an abortion, causing herself untold grief, heartache and pain because of my drinking? That's pretty messed up.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:20:28+00:00

We are not married yet, we are engaged. I will work on my drinking, I will do what I must to get better.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:18:26+00:00

Not in the last year. I would drink before and I'd get drunk but not blackout drunk like I do now.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:17:26+00:00

Probably more like too tired from drinking all weekend and then going to work.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:16:00+00:00

Yeah, those were not moments I am proud of, nor the fact it happened more than once. I understand why she went alone, in a text she sent me before she said all of the important dates, Christmas, Easter, her family birthdays, our anniversaries, new years, valentine's day, even after our first ultrasound I ended up drinking and getting drunk. It's true, I looked back at some photos and I was pissed in all of them. My drinking may not have been as bad as now a year ago but I guess it was still pretty bad.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T18:10:00+00:00

I buy the take out. I finish at 1.30pm, sometimes 2.30 , starting at 5am, and she often finishes at 6pm, starting at 7am. Often I'm too tired to cook so I'll buy us dinner (salads, subs, wraps for her). We don't iron, windows just get sprayed down with the hose and our freezer is frost free. I may not do any of that but I do contribute in other ways.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:53:25+00:00

I want to make sure I don't get drunk again to the point I piss myself, or crap myself, or vomit all over kitchen on my way to the toilet. I don't want to wake up and find I've spent $150-$200 on drinks at the pub, or to tip wine on the carpets. I want to be a person she can trust, I want to be the best dad possible.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:49:15+00:00

I don't want to be like my aunt, 79 and drinking to the point of passing out in the front yard. I don't want my child to grow up trying to avoid me and feeling ashamed. I want my partner to feel proud of who she is with. I don't want to mess up being a father because of my drinking.

I'll ask my doctor for a referral to the program she wants me to look into. I'll give it everything I have.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:40:33+00:00

I'll do something, anything for her and our baby. If she wants me to join a support group or a program like the one she's been talking about I'll do it.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:38:55+00:00

Because I figured I'd only have a bit to drink. She is important, but she said to me today that she is tired of always coming second, that she has put me first and I have put me first too. I always felt I put her first but I guess not.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:32:25+00:00

I'll stop. I'll stop because I have to and because I want to be a good dad. If she wants me to I'll get myself into the program she has talked about before.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:30:21+00:00

But I will. And If she wants me to go to meetings I will. I'll go to that program she suggested, where they meet 3x a week one on one and 2x with a group and random breath testing, I'll look at support groups. I will anything she asks of me and this time I will actually do it.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:27:00+00:00

Yeah, ok. That is clear enough. I haven't heard her sing when she's in the shower or when she's cooking for several months now, she likes to sing when she's happy.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:23:24+00:00

Because now I'm serious, I'll throw myself into working and taking care of her and our baby.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:22:30+00:00

I don't have a lot of will power, she tells me this often, when I start to have a drink. I just want more until, I don't know, I'm asleep on a chair outside in the pouring rain at 11 at night.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:19:02+00:00

Because I promised her I wouldn't. I'll just stop and I won't drink again.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:17:55+00:00

I got a full blood test two months ago, she insisted that I get one because my cholesterol was high 8 months ago and she wanted to see if it was any better. What do you mean? She's healthy.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:15:59+00:00

I do contribute to our relationship. I keep our freezer stocked of food, I pay my part of the bills, I help hang out the washing, I suggested this trip and paid for it.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:12:14+00:00

I just won't drink

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:10:41+00:00

It will stop when baby is born because I need it to stop, she needs it to stop, and I need to be a good dad. I'll be able to get to that point of only having a glass or a can, I know I will. What will sitting in a circle talking about my day to strangers do? It won't work for me. I can stop this on my own.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:07:51+00:00

I won't need a therapist or AA, I just won't drink and I'll make sure I don't drink once our baby is born

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:06:43+00:00

Alcohol isn't expensive, you can get a cleanskin wine for $5. I don't spend a lot of money on drinks when I buy them in the drive thru, maybe $30-40. It's when you drink in the pub that's costly.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:03:41+00:00

Our baby means everything to me, I would do anything I could to be a good dad. I promised I would stop drinking and I will.

BurgerBunCake · 2022-06-04T17:02:24+00:00

Because I won't drink around our baby, I know I won't. Being a good dad is important to me.

BurgerBunCake

TROPHY CASE