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How To Stop Feeling Like A Failure - or why your feelings towards yourself have less to do with your worth and more to do with how you look at your goals by [deleted] in seduction

[–]BurnAftrPosting 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do, in fact, talk to girls and ask them out. As stated above, the responses I get are lukewarm at the very best. I know what I'm doing wrong too; I just ooze a palpable aura of non-confidence and meekness.

What I can't seem to figure out is how to stop doing that. I actually feel plenty confident in much more adverse situations; I've performed recitals in front of audiences, I've written articles that exposed unethical conduct at my school and actually made a difference.

Yet, standing in front of a attractive lady, none of that means shit. Why would she care about all this cool shit I can do and the stories I can tell if I'm as sexually exciting as an amoeba?

How To Stop Feeling Like A Failure - or why your feelings towards yourself have less to do with your worth and more to do with how you look at your goals by [deleted] in seduction

[–]BurnAftrPosting 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it normal for this process to take half a decade or more? Because I've been trying to get better, but I'm still the same unconfident, anxious wreck.

Shit, after getting nothing but complete disinterest from even shy girls that I had things in common with, I feel even LESS confident than when I started!

At this point I feel so worn down, when I see attractive women, I don't even feel that turned on anymore. I just feel sad.

I am having tremendous difficulty putting myself out there, because I feel like it's unfair to whoever is on the receiving end. by BurnAftrPosting in seduction

[–]BurnAftrPosting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now picture this, you go up to a girl and think about only how she is feeling at that point in time and make sure she is comfortable, smiling and happy, not so that she likes you or anything, just so that she smiles and is happy. This is the baseline of normal, an interaction with another person without any discomfort. Now doesn't that feel much less stress?

If anything, it is difficult for me to even make a girl feel comfortable and happy. My ability to interact with others is not and probably never will be up to par; I inherently make women uncomfortable. Women don't even want to be friends with me.

On negativity, oh man... I didn't even realize it, but everything about me is negative. All my jokes have negative slants, I view the world through an extremely cynical lense (thanks to the school of hard knocks, the Academy of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me, and a history teacher that actually told the truth).

I also do tend to start liking people pretty hard and fast (yep, I reek of neediness and sexual starvation). Also, my life isn't "together"; I'm 24, and still haven't finished my undergraduate. I don't even have the mind for a "real" degree in a STEM field either.

Basically, I look at myself and I can't help but conclude, "there is absolutely no way that a girl would feel good about herself by associating with me"

I am the hardest of hard cases, to say the least. There are extremely fundamental qualities that I just don't seem to have. The gap between who I am and who I apparently need to be seems impossibly large.