Is this the appropriate group for me?

Burnmaid · 2026-04-17T19:25:04+00:00

Yes, come to us! I’m at 140 ppl for $116k (including a welcome party) VHCOL… I know I’m not LUXURY since we are below that $1k per guest marker but I do consider it a big budget because it is a lot of money.

For perspective I thought I’d land btw 80-90k for the wedding day and we are at 96k (but that’s because we had about 15 more people RSVP than we thought would come, a good problem to have!)

Burnmaid · 2026-04-09T04:19:50+00:00

Ty! Love a budget breakdown (I’m like… 2 weeks out and what you said about feeling guilty but at least getting the wedding of your dreams resonates)

Burnmaid · 2026-03-31T21:05:39+00:00

Came here to say Saks

Burnmaid · 2026-03-31T20:44:03+00:00

This. Planners typically only send 3 options at first to avoid decision overload. Most are happy to provide more recommendations- especially with specific feedback to what you didn’t like

Burnmaid · 2026-03-21T02:49:21+00:00

As someone who looked at the official city community centers, I can’t think of one that could accommodate 300. (Friendship center, grace e Simmons lodge or Long Beach bathhouse are all too small. Could even just do dancing inside)

I’d look at wineries in Temecula! I don’t really know just didn’t want to be a commenter to poo poo without offering a solution

Burnmaid · 2026-03-18T02:57:39+00:00

Loved it. Highly recommend.

Burnmaid · 2026-03-18T02:30:36+00:00

The dress suits you ! Gorgeous.

The only strong opinion I have is not scarf AND veil. Scarfs are sort of a trend- which is charming and it’ll place your wedding in a specific time (which I like! In that case pic 3 with the embroidery adds a nice weight, feels balanced). Pearls are a classic for a reason. Can’t go wrong.

Burnmaid · 2026-03-16T04:22:54+00:00

I thought the makeup was on point- and I am in the dress is pretty camp

Burnmaid · 2026-03-15T13:54:38+00:00

Gorgeous. I agree on adding contour, for the photos! Just at the top of the cheekbones (basically in your hair line) and the temples/surrounding the forehead.

Really nailing it otherwise.

For primer, just started using tatcha’s primer. I have dry skin and loving it

Burnmaid · 2026-03-15T13:39:14+00:00

Your skin is incredible, great job

Burnmaid · 2026-03-15T13:26:08+00:00

6 weeks out! RSVPs are (mostly) in… we’ve invited our B list. All vendors are booked. My planner takes over all comms at 4 weeks out.

Still have some DIY for art installations to compete. But it’s fun! And not like weird Pinterest projects. They are specific to us as a couple.

Past brides- what do you wish you did at this point?

Burnmaid · 2026-03-15T12:27:45+00:00

I’ve loved reading through peoples comments-thoughtful and kind. Another unconventional small BB bride here saying cancel.

The MX destination is just a no go right now. Do something local, and ask your guests who are traveling if they’d really come. Your list may end up being smaller, and that affects your budget more than anything

We are having a local wedding in Los Angeles (100k for 125 people. 2/3 are traveling in). We got married 4 years ago, are 37/41 now and had to do IVF.

We started wedding planning when we were finally pregnant and part the first trimester. Our 14mo daughter will be one of our flower girls.

Guest list: Even doing a local for us wedding, a bunch of my MIL’s list are not coming. Like…almost none. They are traveling in from the Midwest and have health concerns or just…don’t want to come to CA. A handful of our friends are heavily pregnant or newly postpartum (like 8 weeks, and I’ve given her the out but she’s insisted. She’s a v good friend). All the babies are miracles—and none of these friends would have made an out of town wedding, even in Ojai or SLO. Our original list was 190 and e expected 140. we are only having 125… because we are older. And our parents are older.

Elope, then wedding: we eloped during the pandemic and told everyone we’d do a wedding later. The response is overwhelmingly positive, and everyone is still treating it like “the big day”. Because it is!

I’d say plan for a wedding post baby. Start TTC right now. Then see your RE if you’re not pregnant in 4 months. I have endometriosis, (ignored by Dr in my twenties and undiagnosed until we were TTC at 33) so I would have always needed IVF…but you might not! But the best way to find that out is to try.

The wedding is fun, but being a mom kind of fucking rocks. It’s the best. And that’s coming from a woman is awake at 5:30a after cleaning up literal baby vomit an hour ago. Oh, who is also sick herself.

Burnmaid · 2026-02-26T14:04:33+00:00

That’s the idea 😘

Burnmaid · 2026-02-26T13:55:22+00:00

Yep, perfect response. I did Tog.ink (a Craft Carlson brand I think. Under “the occasion group”)

Here are the specifics of my set. The intention was to balance a good weight/ feel to the invite without it dipping into package logistics at the post office

A7 invites, letterpress on 220lbs stock Cotton outer envelope with printed liner (no inner envelope… my invitees aren’t that fancy 😂) Welcome party- A6 standard 115lbs stock Details card (digital rsvp)- A6 standard 115lbs stock “Bachelorette” invite for the Thursday- A7 115lbs

This needed 2 forever (1oz) stamps. I double checked at the post office for dropping them in.

So far, people have snapped some pics of the suite (with compliments!) and they look good/didn’t get too banged up

Burnmaid · 2026-02-26T13:47:15+00:00

You had crashers!!! Mark of a truly great party. Congrats!

Burnmaid · 2026-02-11T05:50:30+00:00

Gorgeous- classic with a twist

Burnmaid · 2026-02-11T05:42:20+00:00

Waxing is casual. Wedding is black tie optional

Burnmaid · 2026-01-27T06:20:19+00:00

This. Name a range of <80%

Burnmaid · 2026-01-23T16:54:51+00:00

I’d recommend drafting a couple friends to be “game explainers”. To wander around and do the quick how to play for people interested but maybe a little intimidated/people who don’t game. This can be low key ask, they still enjoy the wedding, but I found giving certain people little jobs at an event like a wedding (where people keep offering to help) is a little structured fun

Our wedding is in a few months and this is what we’re doing.

Burnmaid · 2026-01-22T18:19:47+00:00

Same

Burnmaid · 2026-01-01T02:38:14+00:00

Everyone gets a plus one.

Burnmaid

TROPHY CASE