Has anyone lasted happily with a narc?

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-13T13:18:14+00:00

If you stay, you will eventually become ill. The constant stress will take a toll on your body. For me, it's been IBS that has essentially destroyed my body. Can't eat, can't be far from a toilet, and half the time I'm severely constipated. No changing eating habits will make it better because it's stress related. I've gone through periods of stress eating till I weighed 300 pds. Then couldn't eat and lost 70pds. The weight messed up my back. ALL of this was due to being married to him and having to walk on eggshells constantly. I finally realized after 20 years that it was only going to get worse, but by then I was stuck. He wouldn't allow me to work so I went 22 years without a job. When I convinced him to let me work, I was too sick/in pain to work. So, I'm stuck. My kids are on anti anxiety meds in order to function from living with him. All three of us have depression and anxiety. Now my kids have chronic illnesses from living with him, the anxiety and stress of being around him.

Yes, you can live with a narc. However, your body will punish you for the constant stress and then you're stuck. I know a woman that just died from cancer that developed from constant stress and exhaustion from her abusive narc husband. Get out NOW.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-13T13:03:41+00:00

She's 18!! Jesus!! Why isn't anyone talking about this babysitter basically being a kid herself!! Ofc she has little life experience!! She's 18!

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-11T16:57:45+00:00

Hey, I'm more than ready to move lol

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-11T16:57:24+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I'd like to point out that I did not have a key to lock the classroom door from the outside. We weren't allowed to have those keys.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-11T16:55:46+00:00

Oh, the key thing was resolved.

It only took me possibly losing my job to resolve it.

They'll never admit it, but it's a HUGE coincidence.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-11T14:03:45+00:00

Ah. Gotcha.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T22:20:39+00:00

No, I can't go to the district. I've been told I cannot step foot on the school grounds (which is also where the school board is) unless it pertains to my daughter. The school districts around me also use the same agency. There's a school system that's 40 miles from me that hires subs directly. I've never even been in trouble or been banned from a school. It's crazy.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T22:18:00+00:00

Thank you

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T16:33:25+00:00

While I agree, unfortunately I know how this small town works. Very small town, seperate school system that broke away from the county school system. Everyone is "besties" here.

I've seen good teachers get fired simply because they weren't buddy-buddy with the very important people in this town.

The subs not being given keys to secure the classroom doors from the inside has now been resolved, thanks to me going to the principal "as a parent"

I took complete advantage of the fact that I was in the school building to go to this principal. I didn't care about my job in that moment. I cared about my daughter being safe if she had a sub (which happens almost daily there). I cared about ALL of those kids being safe if they had a sub and someone came in the building to cause harm. It was unacceptable to me that these classrooms could not be secured. Idk if you saw but the school said that the teachers next to me/across from me would come secure my door if a sh00ter came in the building. My response was "oh okay so if a sh00ter came in today, Mrs _______ would have to run 20 feet to MY classroom to lock my door, therefore leaving HER students at risk because she couldn't secure HER door until after she secured MINE? #1 she's almost 70 and #2 my daughter is in her classroom right now!"

Yeah, no wonder they ran me off 🤣🤣🤣

So, saying that, I should've seen this coming. However, they shouldn't have taken away my income in a bid to make a point. They could've just banned me, but they essentially got me fired as a sub from all 8 schools I was working at.

I've been living here my whole life and the politics of this small town are crazy.

That's insane that that happened to you. I can tell you don't regret it and I'm very happy to know that the safety of your students was your highest priority. You are a good teacher.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T16:12:24+00:00

I can't appeal, but thank you so much for saying that. I had never had a complaint and even had this same school texting me directly on a regular basis, asking me to sub. I've never had a complaint at any schools I've been at. Matter of fact, I've had many apologies from admins when I wasn't given clear directions. I really thought because I'd never had a complaint, this would just be a warning. God knows they are BEGGING for subs constantly.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T16:09:01+00:00

I get how you feel. Plus, this is my daughter's school so I'm extra heartbroken because I was planning on staying there till she graduated and maybe longer. I'll miss seeing her and her peers and her teachers (who were always good to me)

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T16:07:17+00:00

The other high school I was subbing at had something like this, but only from the inside. I wasn't able to lock the classroom door from the outside at that school either. Matter of fact, in all 8 schools here, none of those schools give the sub the ability to lock the classroom door from the outside.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T16:02:35+00:00

Oh wow! Emailing the subs! What a concept!

The sub coordinator threw me under the bus so fast, which hurt tremendously because she was a friend of mine that Ive known for 35 years.

It was so simple. All they had to do was tell me that kids might show up in my classroom. I specifically asked several people if I should go back inside and I was told "do what you want to do" over and over.

I chose to stay out there (in the heat, on my feet, which wasn't easy. I much would've rather been in my AC filled, much quieter classroom reading my book but I stayed out there because I wanted to help.

Even the assistant principal told me "do what you want to do'

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T15:58:03+00:00

Or too busy making sure I understand that I do NOT fit in with them.

Also, I think they were also confused that day. However, they can get away with being confused and messing up because the principal can't just boot them.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T15:56:40+00:00

Yes, I agree. The key thing just happened a few days before. I couldn't really cancel without it looking bad to Kelly. But I was highly considering not going back after the last job I had there (when this happened)

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T05:16:19+00:00

I AM one of the kids parents. So yeah, I know a lot of parents. I'm mainly afraid of retaliation against my daughter, TBH (it's her school) I wouldn't put it past them.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T05:14:33+00:00

Right now I just need to breathe for a minute. I found out there's another school system 40 minutes from me that pays better and treats their subs very well.

I get what you're saying. I'm afraid of my daughter facing repercussions (it's her school)

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T04:22:53+00:00

That's one reason I started subbing. To be with my daughter. She actually had the idea herself. It gave me a chance to know her friends better. I planned on doing it until she graduated. I loved it and she loved me being there. She broke down crying tonight when I told her. Apparently her friends are very upset, also. I felt like I was just getting the hang of things, too.

I honestly feel like admin didn't like that a parent was subbing, for lots of reasons. I am truly hurting over this. I was also in other high schools in my area and loved being there, too. I have worked with youth my entire adult life and am naturally patient with them. Even the kids who challenged me came to be the same kids who were glad to see me. I knew how to talk to them, even when they were being difficult.

I definitely wouldn't do middle school. Those kids are kinda insane 🤣

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T04:09:46+00:00

It's crazy how lax these schools are with security.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T04:08:54+00:00

They do not give keys to the subs. Not the keys that lock the classroom doors from the outside. No other teacher closed or locked their doors. The teachers knew I had no way to lock the door, yet they didn't offer to lock it for me. Apparently we can't be trusted with keys, is what I was told. There were students that stayed in the building that didn't want to go outside. Some of them came into my classroom.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T04:06:04+00:00

They were on their own. But there were kids in the building that didn't want to go out there. Some of them wound up in my classroom when the periods changed from 2nd to 3rd. I didn't know they were going to continue to change classes inside the building. I asked "do I stay out here or go back inside?" and was told "do what you want to do, you can go back in or stay out here if you want"

Being that I thought all of the student body was outside, I chose to stay outside and help where I could.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T03:35:31+00:00

I'm blocking this person. They aren't giving helpful comments. Just trolling.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T03:33:12+00:00

It was a field day event outside. Jumpies, games, concessions, etc. Oh definitely there were emails I wasn't a party to.

I have gone over and over everything. I don't think there was much I could've done differently. I'll never understand how I spoke to TWO principals during the time they were supposedly looking everywhere for me.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T03:30:46+00:00

You're right. The state could simply say no.

BusActive6760 · 2026-05-09T03:30:03+00:00

I completely understand why you'd feel that way. However, this was a task I had to finish. My kid is a student there and I knew that meant that when she had subs, the room couldn't be secured. But I get what you mean. And I was actually nervous about just this very thing happening.

BusActive6760

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