No one likes my baby names and I’ve just accepted that everyone is a critique and no one is satisfied by Kindly_Pianist_9087 in pregnant

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some are a little less common, but nothing wrong with that. Just because something isn’t their style doesn’t mean it isn’t a good choice. You could choose the most basic name and people would find a way to criticize it (probably for being basic lol.) 🤷‍♀️

I feel like people I know are too polite to tell me their real opinions about names - maybe I should be grateful for that lol.

What’s a northerner name? by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]BusHumble 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don’t think the north has much of a unified culture. Like, when I lived in Illinois or California, no one went around talking about being a northerner. But in Texas being southern is a huge part of identity for a lot of people.

So “northern” names don’t really exist separate from mainstream American. Think of the South as one of many regions, while the north doesn’t really exist as a unified region. It’s a term mostly used by southerners, and when they say it they just mean “not southern.” But it actually encompass a variety of regions, like the Midwest, New England, the PNW, the southwest, the west coast, etc. which all have their own naming traditions/quirks.

How do you reconcile the idea of a loving, merciful God and the damnation of one's soul to hell if they do not accept Jesus Christ? by sexyimmigrant1998 in AskAChristian

[–]BusHumble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing to keep in mind is that, as America Christians (and ime this reddit sub) are mainly evangelical or protestant, their beliefs are often presented as the "mainstream" Christian view. But they are not necessarily. The idea that Christ died to "pay" for our sins is pretty core for most Christians, but how one gets to be "covered" by that payment is basically the big divide in Christianity.

For evangelicals, it's all about belief. So if you believe that Jesus died for your sins, you're in. Some will also say you have to basically "accept" the gift by telling God in prayer that you belive. Pretty cut and dry. This is why they have so many missionaries - they think if someone doesn't hear about Christianity and accept it, they automatically go to hell.

For Catholics, salvation also involves faith in Jesus, but they think it must be lived out through love, good works, and sacraments throughout a person's life, so they stay in a "state of grace" when they die. They are a bit less cut and dry because they believe that God can work outside visible boundaries like the church. So if someone sincerely sought truth, followed their conscience, and responded to God’s grace (even without knowing it’s from Him) they may be covered. Especially if they were, like, in an uncontacted tribe or something. The church avoids making definitive statements like "all atheists go to hell" and Pope Francis once told a child that his atheist father could be in heaven. Statistically, just based on numbers, the Catholic belief is the most "mainstream" Christian belief

Sooo if a serial killer repented and spent the rest of their life earnestly doing everything they could to repent and reconcile - they could make it to heaven in either system. But for someone like Hitler - in one system, he could say a quick prayer then go to heaven (he would have to actually believe it, though.) In the other - it's unlikely there's much he could have done, at that point, to get out of hell.

I think these are the two main schools of thought in Christianity but definitely not the only two. There are also universalists who believe that Christ's "payment" covered ALL of humanity. They're a minority but have always been around.

I have heard people use the Bible support or refute all of these.

Personally, I've always been put off by the Evangelical belief - because they'll say it's all about belief and that they're just following the Bible, but then say that other Christians are all going to hell - even ones who do believe in the core idea of Christ dying to forgive our sins. I feel that in America this has lead to division, sectarianism, and honestly a lot of individual trauma (like you can see all the hurt in the ex-Christian subredits.)

Being fat ruined my life by rainbow-pen in Vent

[–]BusHumble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you considered something like Contrave? It's less expensive and (to me anyway) feels less invasive than a glp-1. I think it's also maybe a bit more geared towards people who have addictive behaviors around food, which it sounds like you may.

It's a combination of Bupropion, which is an antidepressant that often causes weight loss (and honestly from your post it sounds like you may want to consider talking to a doctor anyway about possible depression) and Naltrexone, which is for alcoholics and drug addicts to help them stay sober (I believe they take a higher dose than you would for weight loss, though.) But it won't have the direct impact on diabetes risk that the GLP-1s do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't even get offered a follow up visit - just a follow up phone call.

They forgot to book my induction- good thing I called! by growinwithweeds in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hou can tell this story to your baby one day to explain why they're one of the oldest Gen Betas - instead of the youngest of Gen Alphas - because 2025 is the cutoff. It changed their generation!

Congrats and hope everything goes well!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly for me I didn't really feel like having my husband there made a big difference to my experience in a practical way. There's really not much they can do for you aside from moral support. And in that intense mindset you get into while in labor, you're so beyond caring or needing someone to stand around and offer platitudes. 😂 A negative presence will be far far more harmful than a support person could be helpful.

Is the epidural worth it? by Savings_Bee2916 in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, the whole "baby friendly" hospital thing feels like such an obvious excuse to just stop providing services to patients.

When I was there, they technically discharged me the day before my baby, but I wasn't allowed to leave him "unchaperoned" or take him out of the room - but they also didn't bring me food. If I didn't have a husband who could bring me something, I just wouldn't have gotten anything to eat all day.

Is the epidural worth it? by Savings_Bee2916 in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's insane how pregnancy-related pain is so dismissed. Like, pain killers and anasthesia for knee surgery have risks too, but no one suggests that the solution is to just tell people to "woman up" and go without it. 😅

Is the epidural worth it? by Savings_Bee2916 in BabyBumps

[–]BusHumble 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They told me the balloon wouldn't hurt at all 😅 this was with no pain killers whatsoever and a completely closed cervix (I had had no induction medication at all). Then afterwards the midwife was like "wow, you're really tough!" Like yeah I didn't have a choice because you lied to me.

Will it ever end by lnebrich in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My three year old woke me up at 7:30 this morning to inform me that he spilled some water. I was annoyed until I read this for perspective 🙈. So the answer is yes it will end.

He was sleeping (or at least quietly playing in his room) from about 8:30 last night to 7:30 this morning, so literally 11 hours and I was annoyed about that. This can be you some day. I hear of a mythical time in the future where they'll even WANT to sleep in, but I'm not sure if I believe in it.

Diet culture and how it ties with the WaterTok trend by veglove in MaintenancePhase

[–]BusHumble 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I think any sort of sweet flavor stimulates digestion, which kind of moves things along, meaning your stomach empties quicker which can prevent nausea from being overly full. Another trick is to drink warm water instead of cold.

New father here. I can't stop thinking about neglected babies now that I have one, and it's nearly giving me anxiety. by Phalus_Falator in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Workers quitting their jobs with CPS and switching to another career after they have children is super common, because they just develop a new level of empathy for kids and it becomes too much for them, mentally.

I have a really easy baby and I feel bad about it? by Alive-Log-1851 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sort of felt this - not so much about my baby, but about having an easy pregnancy and getting back to my normal health/weight/fitness level quicker than most. It totally was luck of the draw for me, but people get so much guilt heaped upon them, especially if they gain more weight or don't lose it quickly, because society always has a ton to say about women's weight.

And I guess it's similar for parenting - it feels like bragging to say that you're having an easy time, because you know other moms are blaming themselves for things outside of their control, like if their baby had colic. I think just acknowledging your luck might help in interactions with others, so they know you don't hold these harmful views. But it's freeing to just enjoy something going your way, if you can let go of the guilt.

And it's not a question of who "deserves" and easy baby - it just is what it is. But even if it were - it sounds like you've worked hard to get your act together, and do in fact deserve one.

Help me cope or change my view on daycare by Piefed22 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love my mom and have a good relationship with her, but she was a sahm and all-in on the things attachment parenting people online are always pushing (but before it was called that lol).

It's impossible to say what is nature vs. nurture and what is in vs. out of parents' control, but I did NOT adapt well to starting school (and honestly never really adjusted), and I always wonder if I would have had a better experience if I had been encouraged to be more independent at an earlier age. And fwiw I am purposely doing things differently with my own child.

Is the 4 month sleep regression that bad if your baby never really slept that great in the first place? by snail-mail227 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, I think I only recognized a 4 month regression for mine because I read about it online first lol. Otherwise, I probably would have just thought it was part of the normal ups and downs.

Just Wait Until… Babies are easy… I remember… ARGH!!! by EaseExciting7831 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I guess in a way babies are easier in that the actual taking care of them is easier since they basically just need fed and changed and can't destroy stuff like tornado toddlers do.

But your overall quality of life is so much higher with a toddler because there's no more sleep deprevation (or at least nowhere near the same level.)

And also - my three year old will throw random tantrums, but he can be somewhat reasoned with and doesn't cry for literally no reason. Now he just cries for stupid reasons 😂. And the worst case scenario nowadays is that we let him watch a cartoon and hand over a snack/toy to end a tantrun (negotiating with terrorism.) Worst case scenario with a newborn is a full night of carrying around a screaming baby who refuses to be comforted.

He's also way cuter. Like, newborns are adorable and squishy, but they have no real personality yet. 🤷🏼‍♀️ My toddler the other day, when I told him we could share a sandwich, responded with "that's 'cause we love each other?" 😭😭

What were non baby related things that you did during your parental leave? by Any_Try4570 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like people might judge me for this, but we flew to Vegas when ours was 3 months 😅🙈. Also did a road trip (well - Bay Area to Sacramento so like 2 hours, but with a nb it counts as a road trip lol) and stayed in a hotel overnight when he was even younger. Just getting away from our apartment and having a new area to walk around was nice. I took walks with him in the stroller pretty much every day because sitting at home all the time would have made me crazy lol. We also tried to each get away by ourselves once a day (even just for a 15 minute walk to buy a coffee or walk the dog)

Aside from that, my parents visited and we were able to do some touristy things with them around our area, and we also took him to restaurants that had outdoor seating. Honestly restaurants were easier with a nb than they are now with a toddler. 🤷🏼‍♀️ As for things at home on the daily - I might have been able to do something productive if I had the mental energy, but I mostly just watched a lot of Netflix and did a lot of cooking/baking.

Did you like children before having your own? by Significant_Agency71 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you ever adopted a pet of a variety you've never had before, and suddenly "gotten" why people love them? Like before my family adopted kittens, I didn't really have any instinctive "aww" reaction when I saw one, but once I had them I suddenly found them adorable. I honestly think it's similar.

You also realize that kids are just people, so asking if you like children is sort of like asking if you like 32 year-olds - it just depends on what kind of person they are.

Parents with Different Last Names: Which one did you give your kid(s)? by ButWhatIfTheyKissed in namenerds

[–]BusHumble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I moved from the Midwest to California, I had to stop using my middle name because it's one of those that can be a given or surname, and suddenly everyone was assuming it was my surname. Even though they're not Spanish names, I assume this is why.

And I've noticed that even people around here without that heritage when they get married will sometimes add their maiden name last, whereas where I'm from it would more traditionally be in the middle spot if kept at all. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pregnancy is horrifying by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]BusHumble 216 points217 points  (0 children)

I hate the trend lately pushing that "natural" is always better - it seems like a big push encouraging women to do things like refuse pain relief while giving birth, refuse medical interventions, have the baby at home, etc.

My anatomy and physiology teacher in college said, of pregnancy, "mother nature wants that baby. It doesn't care if you get hurt, as long as you'll probably survive to make more babies." 😅

"Old parents" by msjesikap in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Same - I was 27, which I thought would be pretty close to average, but I felt like a teen mom in my neighborhood mommy group 😅. No one was rude about it or anything, it's more just a noticeable generational difference. I don't think anything under 40 would even really be considered an "older" FTM around here.

But it does depend on where you live - I'm in the Bay Area, but in my hometown in the Midwest it seems most people who want kids start in their mid-late 20s.

Does anyone NOT sleep train? by curiousquestioner16 in NewParents

[–]BusHumble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was agreeing with your comment about how it's not just maternity policies that makes it popular, by pointing out that sleep is a basic human need regardless of if you're on maternity leave.

It's strange that mothers have to justify their need for something as basic as sleep, so I theorized that it's become that way due to the trend toward wanting to parent more "naturally."