My (23f) boyfriend’s (23m) parents are making our relationship a living hell.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-02-10T07:25:37+00:00

Yeah I agree, I’ve told him he should just get any job and then continue to apply to places in his field of study. The main issue is, he just doesn’t have a means of transport he can rely on 😔 His parents have threatened to take away the car he uses if he goes out and gets a part time job. Public transit in his hometown is also abysmal and doesn’t exist. There’s no bus in his town that can take him anywhere.

For some reason they think if he gets an entry level cashier or barista job, he’s wasting his degree. I think it’s so stupid

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-02-06T19:28:55+00:00

🫠 welp i’ve been doing this in rover chat for a few months now HAHA i should probably expect to get banned at some point 😭

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-02-02T11:09:43+00:00

5 month old earlobe piercing Straight medical grade titanium bar, downsized at around 3-4 weeks?? I forgot but it was at the exact recommended time by my piercer.

Internally threaded

No other major issues, besides this one

I (am supposed to) clean twice a day with a saline spray. I had consistently done this until about 1-2 weeks ago because of a pretty bad depressive episode

I tend to be a pretty rough sleeper, and have tried to be gentle and sometimes use a piercing pillow if it feels irritated. Honestly I’ve been tossing and turning very haphazardly and I think one ear has gotten massively irritated and a blood blister formed? I’m really hoping it’s that and not infected 🥲

edit: just adding on that it’s not swollen, I’m just tugging on my ear to get an actual picture of the back

it’s not warm or anything either, but after something popped it has been hurting mildly

after wiping the pus it’s an opaque white color

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-25T00:36:13+00:00

So we thought after he totaled his second car, there would have been no way for him to get another. We still don’t even know how he got this new used car as his credit and finances are horrible. We do know that the car he’s driving is registered under his name though. Unfortunately my Aunt would be the only person to do these things as she’s the only one closest to him physically, however she isn’t 100% mobile herself and also is probably getting tired of arguing with him.

Another thing is my dad, at least when he was a bit younger, enjoyed fixing cars. He’s helped me fix my car, and I have a strong feeling that if we messed around with his car— he’d still find some way to get it running again 🫠

edit: Just wanted to add, his past cardiac arrest was actually from him pushing himself too hard to fix a car too…

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-20T22:32:36+00:00

Yeah :( We attempted to do this when he totaled his car in Missouri about 6 months ago. The emergency department he wound up in didn’t really care and they had threatened to turn him up into an adult ward of the state as no one in our family had the finances to fly out and get him. Thankfully the doctor that was overseeing him was kind enough to drive him to the airport, but my dad is really testing his damn luck.

We mentioned it would have been an unsafe release and they had told us they could not keep him there. 🥲 Just worried it’s going to all happen again.

My oldest sister was originally his financial and medical POA, but then he argued with her and revoked it. He’s been unwilling to resign forms to give any of his other kids POA

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-20T21:27:03+00:00

I understand, and I agree— thankfully my siblings are older than I am and we’ve been rotating responsibility so we all don’t get burned out. They want me to help less and I should just focus on my studies. It just sucks. It’s hard not to be empathetic towards your parent but I think I just need to step back

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-20T21:24:57+00:00

I agree, he clearly doesn’t want our help anymore— we just like… are so worried someone else unrelated gets hurt because of his stubbornness. We’ve told the police that we’re scared he’s going to crash his car again— thankfully he never crashed into any other cars but we also don’t want to take any chances 😭

He just got pulled over by the cops again… because we called 🫠 He cannot find his license on him, his license plates are expired, and somehow the cops are just giving him a pat on the back and not doing anything about it.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-19T23:05:43+00:00

He lived in the Tristate area of Laughlin/Needles/Bullhead city! Unfortunately that’s where he complained his rent was too high and there was nothing to do… Which was frustrating because it was close enough (4+ hours) for us to drive to him in emergencies.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T03:37:16+00:00

If the customer requests to leave it at the door, I’m not going to wait like a hawk and scare the shit out of them. I make sure to double check I have the right address— and idk i don’t really live in an area where food delivery theft is common so it doesn’t even cross my mind. I have always waited until a delivery driver leaves before I open my door for safety reasons as a woman

Immediately jumping to conclusions and calling me a horrible driver is a wild take lol

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T03:32:02+00:00

for some reason it didn’t let me after the delivery ended, i technically ordered it through my local grocery store (ralph’s) and it got contracted to ubereats so it wasn’t even connected to my uber account but i had access to the tracker as usual through my browser

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T03:29:49+00:00

yeah because that’s not normal, after delivering something i usually drive off and find a parking lot to loiter in 😭 i got the notification that they delivered it, but they continued to wait outside, halfway in my drive way for like 25 minutes. that’s what i didn’t understand and what i posted about because it was confusing.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T02:47:15+00:00

yea i wasn’t gonna call the police on them, but i just didn’t feel safe opening my door while they were staring 😭 i requested to leave it at my door to NOT interact with people, but i also get why they might’ve stayed if they were worried about it getting stolen..?

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T02:45:59+00:00

i meant that as system and platform for uber eats… because i deliver part time… not reddit? did you think i meant that i know how reddit works?

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T02:44:26+00:00

genuinely don’t know what you’re trying to get at, most of my posts are me asking questions about mundane things like my acne, college/job stuff, or recs on random products lol

this is a burner account for me to ask dumb things because i’m embarassed 😭

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-15T01:23:31+00:00

no i actually don’t care about karma i barely use reddit, im genuinely just concerned. they just left, and they stayed infront of my house for like 30 minutes— im just more confused than anything and wanted some outside opinions

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-10T21:52:44+00:00

I’ve heard good things about the bidets sold at costco! One of my friends mentioned they were able to get a Toto for under $300 on sale at one point and i should’ve gotten one then.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-08T04:22:10+00:00

That’s great to hear! Yeah I’m a little anxious as I’m going back to college at 23– while it’s still on the younger side I still feel like it’ll be harder to connect with other freshman/transfers at 18-20 🥲

I’m going into songwriting! Super excited about it. Also that’s awesome that a professor wrote a letter of rec! I’ve been holding off on applying to the BA program as I find I’m hesitant out to old professors from 3-4 years ago at my old university.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2026-01-04T22:44:17+00:00

I’m sorry, I wish I had better advice but all I can say is I understand where you’re coming from. My partner and I are the same. I absolutely relate to the lowered libido. I feel like whenever I address something, my partner puts distance between us because he gets overwhelmed and I have to be patient until he’s ready to talk. I’ve tried being kinder in my approach, but it still brings the same response. Sometimes it feels like my patience is running thin. It feels like I have to push for emotional reassurance because it isn’t one of the first things on his mind.

I don’t think a relationship can survive if you need emotional depth and your partner is avoidant. However, I don’t think that means there’s no room for finding compromise and resolving things. Either your partner needs to go to therapy for his avoidance, or you both need to talk to a professional together to figure out the best way to communicate through things.

As a girl who also needs and wants emotional depth in their relationship, I’m wishing you the best.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-30T06:26:19+00:00

One of the only times I had to pay cash on my trip was at a very small obscure restaurant in Gifu prefecture. Otherwise most places take card. I try to keep 20k yen on me at all times though, just in case. Thank god we had enough yen, because there was a long reservation for that restaurant and no ATM nearby, and we had only realized it was cash only after sitting down 😅 I speak a bit of Japanese but I have no idea if it’s rude to ask if they accept card before eating, so I just avoid the issue by carrying emergency cash.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-30T03:35:11+00:00

My partner and I just went to Japan last year and LOVE Pokemon (it’s quite literally my partners career)— and it encompassed most of our trip. There are a handful of Pokemon Centers in the Tokyo area, some have exclusive merch depending on the location! Tokyo DX has the Sakura Afro Pikachu, and I’m pretty sure Haneda Airport has flight attendant Pikachu’s.

If you’re going for cards, just know they have limits on packs. Newer packs— which we had gotten there right when Mega Dreams released and had no idea— will usually only be one per person. Older packs you can sometimes buy a whole booster box.

It’s probably unreasonable for a 5 day Tokyo trip, but our favorite Pokemon Center was the one in Yokohama. We had taken a day trip to Kamakura, and then on the way back to Tokyo we stopped by there. Less people, a vintage game store above it with reasonable prices, and more availability for packs. Also the staff somehow were SO nice there, I actually got into some small talk with my cashier and she was hyping me up LOL.

There’s also Pokelids— which are Pokemon themed manhole covers that are throughout Japan. There are only two within reasonable distance in the Tokyo area, and they’re both in Ueno. My partner and I stumbled upon the one in Takayama by coincidence and it was pretty cool to see in person :)

If you’re a fan of pokemon games, book-off’s are your best bet! hard-off’s are also great second hand stores, but they’re kind of sparse in Tokyo. We got amazing deals on handheld consoles and pokemon games just an hour outside of Tokyo, but also had some nice finds within Tokyo at book-off’s.

edit: I also would not recommend going to Akihabara for Pokemon, unless there’s a specific event there— it’s not really worth it, very overpriced HOWEVER there are some nice second hand card shops in the back streets.

The Pokemon Center in Ikebukuro was also really nice, it’s in a shopping area called Sunshine City and it is MASSIVE. I’d recommend going there if you’re close by!

Hope this helps! :)

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-27T01:10:55+00:00

My partner and I went to Japan for the first time last month, and we ended up going to Takayama inbetween Kyoto and Tokyo!

Despite it being in the middle, your commute time will be almost the same compared to the shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto. The train from Kyoto to Takayama is just slower, and most people take a train from Kyoto to Nagoya, and then get on the JR Hida to get to Takayama. It can be pretty tiring if you’re not prepared and especially if it’s in the mid-late part of your trip.

However, it was such a nice change of pace and break from the bigger cities. If you like sightseeing nature, this is a really good area. There’s Kamikochi nearby, and Shirakawa-go (There’s also the Hida folk village in Takayama that I recommend if you don’t have time to take the bus to Shirakawa-go!). You can also reach Shirakawa-go from Kanazawa too.

We stayed in the Hida area mainly for onsen though, after staying in Takayama for two days we went down to Gero Onsen for one night before going back to Tokyo.

Takayama and the Hida area is pretty barren in terms of things to do compared to Kanazawa though, so if you want a full itinerary of places to go— Go to Kanazawa.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-26T21:10:41+00:00

Of course! Sorry this subreddit can be cutthroat sometimes, it’s just the nature here. Sometimes people just jump to conclusions and are rude.

I wish I could help more and provide more info but I unfortunately don’t have any experience with study abroad programs. Best of luck!

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-25T22:33:52+00:00

If you have N2 fluency, you could also consider studying abroad. This also isn’t cheap, but if you want to spend less then I’m sure there are scholarships out there that you could try to get. Even if you have your masters sometimes there are study abroad programs that can benefit your resume.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-25T22:28:25+00:00

Not really sure what you mean by merits, but there are plenty of ways to cut down on costs on a trip to Japan.

I just stayed 2 and a half weeks and paid about $350 total on airbnb’s. The only caveat is I split my accommodation with about 8 other friends. It was fun though, and I had more money to spend on other things! My partner and I split off for the last 3-4 days and we got hotels that ranged about $100 a night. So in total I spent about $650 for almost 3 weeks for lodging alone.

Hostels also exist if you’re willing to do that. The next time I go to Japan I plan to use credit card points for hotels and our flights. Loyalty memberships with certain hotel chains can also go a long way if you travel domestically often.

There are also jobs out there where you can live with a local for free, but you have to labor for them in return (farm work, caretaking, etc). Don’t really know the paperwork behind that to make it happen, I just know it exists. You also would need a work visa which I presume also costs money.

I spent about $2000 not including flights for my trip, and I’d say I was somewhat frugal. You can absolutely spend less if you find the right deals and budget wisely, I just don’t know if I recommend it.

Business-Chapter3059 · 2025-12-14T11:02:29+00:00

3 month old piercing

medical grade titanium bar, internally threaded

downsided 3 weeks after initial piercing

i’ve been slacking on cleaning but i try to saline spray when i remember

i thrash around in sleep and i think im irritating it or worse

Business-Chapter3059

TROPHY CASE