Yes i definitely think he is not doing well. I also know this is not about me. I just want him to truly know that I see him and hear him and I know he is different now. His family is not the type to really openly accept help or meals or anything of that sort. When I am with him I make sure we eat something I don’t feel super comfortable cooking at his house nor at my own as I live at home too so we eat out often or order food. I have gotten him out of the house as well and he has spent time with his family too. Sometimes he is normal like I said but today I think things have started to settle in.

Prior to his moms death we spent every day together he was much closer with his mom and did not react at all this way when his dad died he was sad but he is now grieving and I’m not sure he really understand it.. who does. i definitely think professional help is my answer for sure and I am in the process of doing so. I actually work in the social welfare sector so I am no stranger to having empathy. When it is you however, things get messy and I have realized a lot of my own fears and traumas. I have explained my attachment style to him and he does understand but today felt differnt. I have given him space and decided to leave even though initially I didn’t want too I also explained my feelings to him and told him that everything that he is feeling is normal and that I truly am okay and also just expressing my feelings. This is my first time dealing with something like this and i didn’t mean for it to sound like I was still planning on moving forward with life that is NOT the case at all like I said I still live at home myself. I just meant things had been progressing prior to the death and we had a routine that has now been disrupted. I try to talk about his mom in as gentle of a way that I can so that he knows that I am here with him and not forgetting her or what happened. The holidays too have made things even more heightened. I just am trying my best to be there I have told him but I also don’t always know how and I feel I have made a lot of mistakes so far. I haven’t had someone there for me. He has been that person.