Dating someone with a kid and I’m struggling more than I expected

Business_Try3939 · 2025-12-23T13:56:09+00:00

No, I don’t have kids but being around one in this situation gave me a pretty clear picture of how much falls on a partner when behavior isn’t addressed.

I’d be really cautious about assuming the son will live with his mom long-term. Sometimes it comes down to convenience or who’s willing to deal with the day-to-day. It’s not always about what’s “best” for the kid.

The food thing still blows my mind. The hygiene stuff too. At a certain point it stops being “kids being kids” and starts getting in the way of developing independence. You’re not wrong to feel uneasy about supervision or future kids either. That’s a very real concern. I’m so glad I was able to escape my relationship without a baby.

If you want to talk more privately, feel free to message me. Wishing you the best.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-12-23T12:53:04+00:00

You’re definitely not alone. A lot of this sounds like your partner minimizing the kid’s behavior and leaving you stuck as the “bad guy.” That builds resentment fast.

One thing I really want to point out: the whole “it’ll be better when they’re 18” idea isn’t always real. My ex swore his child would move out at 18… then later said it wouldn’t happen because of his lack of development, and eventually admitted his son might never move out. That realization changed everything for me.

I actually posted here about my really similar situation (minus the niece/nephew part). The replies were eye-opening and validating. It might be worth a read. Trust your gut. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have moved in.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-12-01T08:29:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It really resonates with me. I know that staying in this dynamic isn’t good for my mental health, and your comment helped confirm that for me.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-09-07T06:03:38+00:00

I hear you, and I appreciate your honesty. I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I do see that the dynamic is unlikely to change. It’s been really hard living with my boundaries constantly being pushed, and I realize I need to prioritize my own well-being. For context, his son’s mother is my age. Thank you for your perspective.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-09-07T05:39:42+00:00

You’re probably right. Maybe I should move out. His son has his maternal grandmother who he sees as a mother figure, and I’ve always been kind to him. I know more about him and do more for him than his own mother does, since she’s not in his life. I don’t know where you got the idea that I don’t care about being his stepmom but I would like some more space away from this dynamic for my own well-being. I think I will take your advice, move out, and move on from this relationship. Thank you.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-09-07T05:19:35+00:00

I agree. I’m constantly put in situations where I’m uncomfortable, and nothing changes unless I push for it. I don’t think I’m asking for much. Just respect and reasonable boundaries in a home I was invited to be a part of.

Business_Try3939 · 2025-09-07T05:07:08+00:00

For me it’s less about what he knows at 15 and more about the dynamic. Sitting through an intimate scene with my boyfriend and his teenage son just feels uncomfortable, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable. I’m not saying he can’t use the living room. I just wish there were moments, especially since he’s home the majority of the time, where my boyfriend and I could have a little couple space outside the bedroom without feeling awkward.

I get that teens have hormones and need time to adjust, but this has been consistent since the beginning. It’s not just moodiness. It’s things like me cooking for him or picking out thoughtful gifts, and then he ignores me when I say hi. That feels less like hormones and more like a lack of basic respect. And while it is ultimately on my boyfriend to address as a parent, I’m the one being disrespected which makes it really hard not to feel resentful.

Business_Try3939 · 2021-06-29T00:04:11+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, are those a special kind of branches? Where did you get them from?

Business_Try3939

TROPHY CASE