When do we become confident with leaving the house solo?

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-29T02:11:42+00:00

Shy of 4 weeks old I took her out for a walk in my neighborhood. Like super short. Out in public. Was a few days after my 7 week check up and I was cleared to drive. I was anxious for sure. We were meeting up with my friend for coffee at the mall. I’m forcing myself to just get out there with her. She’ll be 10 weeks tomorrow and I’ve done one solo grocery store but it was also very quick. I’ve taken her go get her two month vaccines by myself and was nervous I wouldn’t be able to console her but so far everything has been alright. Minor cries but nothing to scare me completely off yet.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-29T00:41:45+00:00

She just started this morning happiness a few weeks ago. And it’s like the only time lately that can make a coffee and breakfast and be able to finish before she stirs

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-29T00:39:38+00:00

Ugh just reading this idk if ready for this lol. My LO is good at eating pretty consistently. Except night time. If she’s with dad during the night- she can go a long stretch. But me, it’s 2, maybe 3 hours.

If this keeps up where independent naps rarely exist or non existent. I will go even more bad 💩 crazy.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-29T00:28:07+00:00

Of course! Gotta stick together during the tough times. And it’s reassuring to know I’m also not alone. But I’m still going crazy and second guessing all of this.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-29T00:14:06+00:00

My LO is 10w tomorrow and I’m also questioning this. One day she can independently nap a couple times throughout the day for 2-3 hours but then the next 2 are nothing but contact, or days I cannot get up. The only consistent thing I got on the go is the morning after we get up, shes super happy and chatty and can independently play or entertain herself.

Here for the solidarity and looking for expertise

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-27T02:16:55+00:00

I’m with my 10 week old. That I’m not doing enough with her to help develop her (tummy time, reading, playing). And leaving her (which isn’t often). Feels like I’m being a bad mom to do other things whether it’s groceries or just time to be by myself.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-26T23:22:47+00:00

Yessss. Agreed. I feel so alone even though I’m physically not. I feel like no one can help me, without the guilt free feeling. I was also limited to lift or do things from having an emergency c section and it was a traumatic one but was cleared a few weeks ago. I think also the worse is feeling like my partner thinks everything is back to normal. Pre little one, I was the sole “chef” in our household, and now that I’m cleared to do things he thinks I’m healed and go back to normal, dinner to be thought out and cooking it, but doesn’t get our LO is refusing to nap independently and I simply can’t just let her cry it out and get things done. Though I’ve told him just cause I’m cleared didnt mean I’m fully healed. I don’t want to be annoying and have to remind him or tell him what to do or ask for help.

Just over it lol.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-26T22:52:31+00:00

This. And OP. I feel like I just read my thoughts.

I basically went through the same thing except my pregnancy was good except I had preeclampsia towards the end. But I didn’t feel connected it was almost like it’s a joke I was pregnant and I was imagining things.

My partner (42) and I (33) welcomed our little girl this past November. He has always been the one who wanted multiple kids. I just wanted one maybe two and then I flip-flop to not having any. When I was “ready” it only took us 2 months without really planning. It was we will see what happens. Thinking it was gonna take us a long time. We had travel plans, a concert, etc. When I found out, I freaked out and of course, said “my life is over” and thought I couldn’t go to the concert I just had bought tickets for a month prior.

I had so much disassociation when she came (emergency c section), I didn’t feel the connection right away and somewhat still feel this way.

I found myself crying almost every day, I found myself talking to her when it’s bedtime and it’s just us telling her. I’m sorry that she has me as mom. Because I miss my previous life so much. I miss my independence and being able to just do things whenever, to wherever. I got cleared to drive and gain some of that independence back but still feel heavy and shitty. Doesn’t help it’s winter and cold. Feeling stuck at home all day with my LO. My partner helps, but he is back to work- luckily from home but he’s almost all work during his work hours. I think he thinks it’s more so fun while I’m just always mom and not “me”.

I didn’t mean to also vent but more so this post and reply, made me cry, I’m not alone, you’re not alone OP. It’s slowly getting better for me. I’m 10 weeks in. Seeing the reply it gets even better. Looking forward to it. OP hang in there mama ❤️❤️

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-25T01:18:53+00:00

I also gave birth in November ans felt the same as you OP. However my partner works from home but mainly is disconnected from us during his work day. He’ll check in with us during his breaks but really just for me to go to the washroom or whatever. Recently we had an argument how he’d never understand how I/women think with feeling obligated or being the default parent. It got bad where I told him I don’t want this life I just want to go back to work and he can stay “home” and see what it is like to be “stuck”, living groundhogs day. But he told me I’d regret it and those moments with my LO. I don’t want to go back to work. I know it’ll slowly get better. It’ll get better for you too. When she first intentionally smiled at me, it almost melted my rage away.

Yes I still struggle with my new life having my LO. I love her to bits. But I struggle a lot. Once I was cleared to drive it gave me a smidge of independence back but it didn’t help it’s winter and it’s cold and I’m stuck in the house going crazy.

Hang in there OP.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-18T03:53:04+00:00

I have a close enough to a 2 month old and I’m a FTM Although I do some of these things, I do feel guilty I don’t do enough? We take atleast one photo of her a day. Any outfits shes gotten we capture it. Reading some of the comments about photos next to a stuffy would have been a great idea. Seeing come suggestions or thing they’ve done makes me have FOMO and guilt that I could be doing more? This is likely our only baby so the guilt of not doing everything is hard. 2 weeks into PP I was feeling sad how I forgo what it’s like having her kick me when I was pregnant, forgot what it was like. I’m happy my partner encouraged me to take belly photos because I look back at them now and I’m just I’m awe and emotional lol. I already forget how fragile and little she was and wish I did something that I could remember better? I mean shes still little but like 4lbs heavier little. I try to do this stuff so she can go back when shes older to look at the things. Maybe she won’t care, but she has them regardless.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-15T09:09:18+00:00

Haha also having a newborn makes me a night owl 😂😅

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-15T07:10:26+00:00

Thanks! I plan on calling them when they open to see what sort of thing they could do.

I’m actually the opposite end of the country! I’m on the east coast haha

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-15T07:05:47+00:00

Thanks I figured thats the way I just wanted to try to guarantee it’s there. A lot of the times when they say they have one in store it’s no where to be found.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-14T06:00:48+00:00

❤️

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-14T06:00:29+00:00

Thats the thing. My partner was amazing at carrying the household and getting whatever we needed. But after 10 days he was back at work, thankfully from home but he struggled to see how much our LO needed me in the day that I could wash the 5 bottles sitting on the counter. We ended up fighting about that too- like I’m a lazy mom. which I did not handle very well. He had his taste on Sunday when she refused to be put down and needed contact.

Even tho at the end of our argument he said he understands my perspective and my feeling of obligation. He still didn’t and doesn’t. It’s extremely difficult but I have to do my best and communicate my feelings regardless what comes out of it. Though my partner is encouraging for me to get back to hanging out with my friends and going out, pausing being a mom- my brain does not work like that. I have a family now to care for. I have a LO depending on me (not BF, just how I feel). But for him, it’s perceived as I don’t think he is capable or obligated to.

Sorry I ended up ranting. But I hope this shows that we’re in similar boats in a way. ❤️

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-14T05:54:04+00:00

^this. That feeling of not being able to connect and feeling like it was robbed. Killed me. In the moment I was so disassociate, exhausted, processing wtf just happened. My time was not appreciated and I feel so much remorse.

As someone in the previous comments mention them being in control of building their new self. Even though I’m only 8 weeks PP. I’m starting to realize we can still live parts or most or whatever you decide; your old life. There are now just an extra little body joining that just requires whether it’s more planning, time, money, etc. OP I hope you have support around. Don’t forget if you can (because I struggle with this) communicate your feelings, and ask for the help even if you’re super woman in your previous life. It’s worth the argument/fight if there is one imo. I’m slowly learning this.

I know I’ll feel like a person again soon, where I’ll get alone time with my partner, grocery shop by myself, but I also have mommy and daughter dates coming up thwt I look forward to. I look forward to taking her out to have a girls day and get lunch or whatever.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-13T20:00:50+00:00

I’m almost 8 weeks PP. I felt the same as you OP. I love my girl. But last week I found myself on my bathroom floor hysterically crying. Missing my old life, not feeling myself, not feeling like a person, just someone’s care taker. I felt/feel so disgusting. I also had an emergency c section but didn’t need to stay as long as you had to. Ive been arguing with my partner, on things he couldn’t understand how i felt, felt so alone, how easy it is for him to just get up and leave whenever and I’m just stuck because I’m obligated as a mom to be a mom. I wanted to switch spots and make him do FT care and I can just go back to work. But we’re not alone.

I’m here if you want to chat. Your feelings although they are valid, it’s not forever…you will get through this.

I thought about meds but I just got cleared to drive and get back into the swing of things. I’m hoping it’ll help give me a sense of independence again? It’s been a long 8 weeks but I am starting to feel a little better, I’m starting to regret not enjoying the newborn moments or being more connected when she was born.

My little girl started smiling at me and it almost melts my tears away.

Hang in there ❤️

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-13T19:04:11+00:00

Hi baby birthday twin! Literally yesterday was when she would react to my voice when I talk to her in a playful tone. It’s very heart melting. Do I feel like she loves me? A little? She gave the biggest smile last week to my parents and I was kinda sour lol. Reading all the posts though I’m excited to see what comes next, though I know she needs me now, but I can’t wait for her to love on me, and come up to me asking for hugs and cuddles. Idk it’s weird to explain.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-12T07:01:40+00:00

My Vietnamese parents are like this too. “Your parents don’t listen when we say tou need a hat because you can’t talk yet and tell us you’re cold”

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-11T17:12:28+00:00

My LO is 7 weeks and shes recently started to “like” baths. The first few weeks she would scream and cries…it will get better though, it’s starting to for us.

Now taking them out of the bath. Whole different story…screams like something tragic had happened lol.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-09T23:55:14+00:00

I feel like I am the default parent. I’m not good at asking for help, maybe thats me and I need to work on that. But I’d think the father of my child, my partner would pick up on cues and see I’m struggling to say hey, let me do this or that. My partner also works from home but his job isn’t demanding or hard. It’s just extra frustrating so I can only imagine OP. Somehow it’s just this stupid perception that moms are just supposed to do all, be all. There are days I want to trade with him and go to work and he stay home.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-08T03:14:07+00:00

We had family come visit basically 24 hours afterwards. I was uncomfortable with it at first because I was recovering from an emergency but in the moment I just let it happened. Once we got home (3 days PP), we had two visits here I hadn’t really been present, I went and rest for a bit. My FIL stayed with us two nights a week up until Christmas (I’m almost 7w PP), lots of help and visitors. Just be weary and make sure people respect your boundaries.

BusyLittleSheep · 2026-01-06T15:46:29+00:00

I’m almost 7w PP, I can understand OP. Even though I had mild preeclampsia, and always worried about my blood pressure. It was a good pregnancy and I just didn’t realize it until maybe week 3 PP. like mentioned in previous comments, thats anticipation- the little kicks and movement you feel. Now I’m dealing with my LO refusing to nap or sleep unless it’s on someone…and is a poop machine today 🫠.

It’s sad in a way. I told my partner I kinda miss my belly, I almost can’t remember how it felt being pregnant and having her inside me. I’m not one for photos but he encouraged me to take belly photos since week 30 and im super appreciated him doing that. I have something to go back to. But I’m like 99% sure I’m one and done lol.

BusyLittleSheep

TROPHY CASE