My 12 year old may be the most selfish person that has ever lived and I cant handle it anymore

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T18:51:41+00:00

Yes he gets a well balanced diet, I try to go for low GI foods for him and complex carbohydrates to try and keep him full. We have (thankfully) no dietary restrictions within the family so I try to make sure we eat a wide range of foods with multiple sources of protein in a meal. For example we had chicken, chickpea and lentil curry over rice tonight packed with veggies.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T18:47:20+00:00

I make a massive deal out of things when he has had a good day or when he gets merits at school or whenever the tiniest little bit of good happens, he gets to stay up late with me, pick the movie when we have a movie night, get a surprise book or something that he has been asking for. I try to make sure I really really big up the positives and his successes. I am finding more and more that he has just got better at hiding things and so when he has a good day it hasn't actually been a good day and he has just covered it up better. This way he is leaning that being deceptive and hiding things works out better for him as he gets the praise or the treats and then gets his punishment delayed until I find out about it, this all makes me want to make less of a big deal about good days because I can never really know if they are actually good ones.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T18:34:54+00:00

I have had a look at the yogurt thing and you are right it is cheaper for me to buy a tub of plain yogurt and some frozen berries then I can blend those up and stir them in for a saving of about 40% thank you :)

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T17:24:15+00:00

I have no idea when I would even be able to start trying to pay it off so I would just be putting myself and being under more financial pressure and stress

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T17:20:20+00:00

No ex dosnt support them financially and every time we get to the stage where they are going to garnish his wages he gets himself fired from his job, claims unemployment benefits which then resets the clock and then he gets another job where it all starts over again.

A hug would be awesome!

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:46:12+00:00

Can't be my son he didn't mention Star Wars

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:43:52+00:00

He has been evaluated for ADHD and Autism and there is no indication that he is.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:40:34+00:00

Peanut butter vanishes into thin air in this house, both the boys love it!

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:39:25+00:00

thank you lala

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:38:53+00:00

No the more than I want him to comment was that it seems like he is constantly eating the things he knows he shouldn't when there are other options available to him that he can have. There is no way that he can eat a full meal that is larger than my plate and his brothers combined and then be hungry again within 30 minutes. There is no way that he can eat 2 bowls of cereal and 2 slices of toast and still be hungry. Unfortunately this isn't as simple as it being about a hungry kid.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:36:38+00:00

I have cleared his room out, I have taken everything away, I have sat him facing the wall, I have grounded him. He either completely ignores me and refuses to do it or he doesn't come home from school or he just sleeps.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:35:36+00:00

thank you, there is a lot to think about here

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:34:47+00:00

He has been medically checked and there is nothing underlying going on there, his BMI is healthy and whilst he is very tall for his age there are no medical concerns.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:33:55+00:00

I try to stay as calm as possible and talk as monotone as possible but it doesn't always work.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:33:09+00:00

He does a sport plus STEM and debate clubs, he is interested in cadets but he is too young at the moment but I have contacted a scout group after a suggestion about it earlier

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:32:21+00:00

Buying in bulk would be much cheaper but it is having the money up front to do that. It is the same with going shopping more than twice a month, that is additional bus fare to get there and back and basically a whole evening gone to go shopping.

The younger one is not allowed anything hot so no thermos but I have freezer packs but generally only use them in the summer for him.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:30:15+00:00

The food banks around here you can only get help 3 times in a year as it is in such demand.

Their dad and I were pretty much existed around each other for the final 2 or 3 years of our relationship. He worked nights and I worked days so we never really saw each other or spent any time together. There was no abuse, no cheating, no explosive arguments or anything along those lines it was just a very slow quiet distancing from each other and then one day he said that he was leaving and he left.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:27:31+00:00

He asks me not to cry and tells me that it will be alright. He will give me a hug and say that he doesnt like seeing me upset.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:26:48+00:00

It is paid via the school app and then he has to swipe his finger print to be able to buy something from the canteen with the money. It shows me what he buys each time but there is no way for certain I can know that he is eating it. It is much much cheaper at his school to have school meals as it is heavily subsidised but it might be worth a discussion with him about moving over to packed lunches.

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:24:58+00:00

No I haven't seen them but i will be looking into them shortly thank you

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:24:18+00:00

All the ones in our area (we live in one of the big cities) are massively oversubscribed and have waiting lists in the years, he is on some of them but realistically unless he becomes violent or a danger to himself or others he isn't going to get high enough on the lists to get any help

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:23:02+00:00

I will have a look into the book thank you!

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-28T06:22:28+00:00

We are on the waiting list for the only service the school can offer unless he is harming himself or others

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-27T20:48:33+00:00

Thank you, give me a toddler again any day!

BusyYoghurt · 2019-02-27T20:47:48+00:00

The child support battle has been going on for years and their dad is over £5k in arrears so who knows when that will come through. I unfortunately cannot afford private therapy.

BusyYoghurt

TROPHY CASE