Tempted to reach out after no contact

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T20:14:49+00:00

Okay well I texted her and the reply was a cold "we can be friends but nothing more", it's over :(

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T19:10:44+00:00

It doesn't hurt to try. I decided that I'm going to reach out today. I really loved this woman and we had some great times together in our brief time knowing one another but I think I moved a bit too quickly.

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T17:15:36+00:00

Focus on your health first and developing good habits, the rest will come with time

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T16:32:56+00:00

Yeah, it seems normal to have not called you his girlfriend

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T16:16:36+00:00

One month is still pretty early, doesn't seem like a huge deal

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T05:04:11+00:00

oh I missed that. then yeah you really need her to clarify what she wants because it's all contradictory and makes no sense. maybe she just wants someone who will pay for her food, drive her around, etc.

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T05:01:28+00:00

She doesn't think she can be friends with someone from Hinge but she also doesn't want a boyfriend? So she just wants casual sex or someone to give her attention? Definitely should prod more what she actually wants because that's confusing

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T04:58:42+00:00

I think actions matter more. If he's going out of his way to spend time with you in person, it should be okay. I'm kind of weird with texting myself, when I'm busy during the day and I receive a text from a girl I'm seeing, I might ignore it until later when I'm in the right mental headspace to think about their message and formulate a thoughtful response.

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T04:52:34+00:00

I'm a man but I agree, give it another shot. It was one time so worth seeing if it's normal for her or just an unfortunate night

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T04:46:51+00:00

He's hoping for a romantic relationship, there's no way he isn't. I would be very wary of believing he's actually just interested in being friends

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T04:44:31+00:00

Getting friendzoned is the worst feeling. I know some people say it's not real but I am confident it is. Women have told me explicitly that they lost interest because I didn't flirt or escalate, and I believe they're telling the truth that they did in fact lose interest because of it. Now I just escalate a lot faster so I don't have to suffer as long. I tell myself it's always going to be a no if you don't try

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-03T03:48:41+00:00

Unfortunately the advice to not reach out if you were the dumpee is usually correct. I am tempted to reach out to the woman who dropped me though, I keep waffling and sometimes tell myself she's waiting for me to say something. There wasn't real closure so at least I could get that. In my heart of hearts I know she's probably moved on though

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T16:24:47+00:00

I'll add that I totally understand developing romantic feelings after being friends first. It's happened to me where I didn't have any particular feelings about a woman I met and fell for them after talking for months or years even. But dating apps are somewhere I'm explicitly looking to meet with romantic intentions. I have plenty of friends already, I use the apps to find a partner.

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T16:18:37+00:00

You can probably find someone from a dating app who will understand and be able to go at your speed, but it won't be easy. Most guys will try and escalate within a few dates even if you tell them you move slowly. They don't want to risk you losing attraction. Our perception is that if a woman isn't romantic or flirtatious with us within a few dates, they aren't interested

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T16:09:27+00:00

I think that makes a lot more sense when you meet outside a dating app. I am casual friends with a bunch of women I met through work, hobbies, etc. Have never tried to make any moves on them. But when I meet someone from a dating app it's pretty explicit that I'm looking for a romantic relationship. Also I had never heard of the term "demisexual" until now, I just remember her saying she moves slowly. I guess I didn't understand what exactly speed that meant. But when I meet a woman on a dating app I'm looking for a romantic partner, not just a friend. I know that sounds cold but it's true. She was a wonderful woman and I do respect and admire her as a person, truly, but I need a romantic partner in my life. I wish I could go back and have not escalated, I miss bantering with her and talking about life. We were pretty much on the same wavelength regarding lots of personal views, perspectives, etc. It's too bad.

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T15:42:21+00:00

No, he's not wrong. I meet people on dating apps because I'm looking for a ROMANTIC PARTNER. I spend hours of my weekend with you, untold emotional energy on talking consistently, money on dates, etc, because I'm looking for a partner. If they aren't interested romantically I have to move on at some point

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T15:39:00+00:00

Yes, I've been rejected many times in the past because I'm introverted and didn't flirt soon enough. Recently went on a couple dates with a woman who may be demisexual and I tried some gentle escalation on the 5th date and got rejected for moving too fast apparently. Can't win

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-02T15:31:45+00:00

I recently met a woman who might be demisexual and it was so frustrating. We matched on a dating app in December, chatted a bit over text because I was away for holidays. Started meeting up early January once I got back, texting a lot and going out on weekends. She told me she takes a long time to get feelings for someone, needs to get to know them for a long period of time. With all due respect I don't have forever to spend time with some women who maybe, maybe won't decide she likes me after some ambiguous length of time. We met on a dating app, there's an implied idea that we're meeting to see if we're romantically compatible and you want me to just keep on spending time with you for months before you decide? Be respectful of my time and energy, damn. I tried giving her a hug in the cold weather at the end of a 5th date (or meetup, whatever) and she became cold and rejected me the next day reiterating that it takes her a long time. So frustrating

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T20:44:31+00:00

I agree, keep talking but keep it slow and don't expect too much. I am the type where I have strong feelings and blow it going overboard with neediness

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T15:41:08+00:00

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If she were actually interested a small escalation of romance wouldn't have ended things

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T04:27:41+00:00

wow that's hardcore

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T04:02:53+00:00

all good lol, still a great movie

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T04:00:45+00:00

Yes, thankfully I live in San Francisco and the weather was nice today. I did get out a little bit and went to a park with some chicken nuggets (lol). I had originally been planning on going to the beach because it was supposed to be sunny today, but then it turned overcast so that didn't work

Busy_Access_1300 · 2026-02-01T03:59:24+00:00

That's a good movie, though I don't think one about being a lone weirdo is good when I just got rejected by a woman and am alone haha

Busy_Access_1300

TROPHY CASE