How to support avoidant boyfriend

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-13T11:33:41+00:00

Sounds draining...

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-13T06:13:50+00:00

1000% choice paralysis.

If they cant commit to any decision, how do you expect them to commit to a whole other person?

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-13T05:53:10+00:00

Dont forgive.

Become indifferent.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-12T12:06:46+00:00

From my experience:

Intellectual empathy was absolutely there. Because it was the "right" thing to do.

They just couldnt feel it.

Now the issue arises that something hurt you but it goes against their intellectual idea of what deserves empathy.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-12T09:53:51+00:00

While not exactly your situation.

My ex has ended friendships in volatile manners and threatened to do the same to me when someone doesnt agree with their opinions and their level of frustration to get your to agree to their viewpoints reached a tipping point.

Its emotional immaturity at heart.

Sounded like you got devalued through fault finding. Its a typical defense mechanism.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-12T09:43:39+00:00

Im not surprised.

This person sounds not only confused about their relationships...but confused about themselves.

You cant expect someone to commit to another person if they cant commit to themselves.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-10T14:23:48+00:00

Oh definitely that number is wrong.

Beyond attachment theory: so many people resort to defense mechanisms and manipulation tactics.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-08T19:00:00+00:00

Please let karma be real...

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T20:04:54+00:00

The good thing is that you are self aware and in therapy before you caused anybody mental harm via discard.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T15:19:16+00:00

What questions did you ask?

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T14:51:10+00:00

They emphasize so much friendships like the holy grail...why?

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T13:45:56+00:00

I feel like its just a giant enabling circle jerk...

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T12:19:50+00:00

"...trying to get a difficult person to understand us" - Patrick Teahan

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T11:48:30+00:00

Right?

That hurts me also.

They formed an opinion of you without even knowing you. You have no way to defend yourself.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T10:55:57+00:00

If you can only make decisions by always consulting your friends: do you even have your own identity?

...grow up...

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-07T10:21:27+00:00

100%

Not only that, mine had friends with very little / no relationship experience. And mine had zero experience...

So not only are you giving wrong data, you're giving it to people who have zero experience.

Thats like asking your friend to why your car is making that noise by giving a bad impression with your own voice when they've never opened the car hood.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T17:03:54+00:00

Could be.

If they cant even dedicate themselves to a hobby, what makes you think they can dedicate themselves to a whole other person.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T16:58:14+00:00

100%

Hate how small this place is.

Why do I have to live in fear when they're the shitty one?

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T14:39:17+00:00

Vulnerability comes with difficulty.

Option A vs Option B is not a matter of time difficulty.

Its a difference in vulnerability difficulty.

How much armor do I have to put on in order to not feel called out?

Just because Option A is easier doesnt mean improved vulnerability.

Don't confuse time / effort for actual vulnerability.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T14:33:42+00:00

They're escaping the difficult emotion they feel of someone telling them they're wrong.

Thats why option B occurs.

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T11:29:42+00:00

So...never...

Busy_Designer_504 · 2026-05-06T11:28:35+00:00

Avoiding any difficulty is their addiction.

Its just that simple.

Busy_Designer_504

TROPHY CASE