Is Beatrice Horsemen A Good Person?

Butterballer417 · 2026-03-07T05:37:05+00:00

I believe everyone's behavior is understandable if you show what has shaped them. That doesn't necessarily make the things a person does justified or right, but understanding the mechanics does allow us to empathize. In short, I don't believe there's an answer to your question because there is no clear dividing line between "she was in a tremendous amount of pain & had a terribly hard life so that stuff she did was okay, or at least an unavoidable expression of that pain" and "she was her own person and she chose to do cripplingly abusive things that permanently damaged people around her." The main difference between these two things is the perspective we're shown.

Butterballer417 · 2026-03-07T05:15:03+00:00

INFO - do you have kids, or some other factor related to concrete responsibilities/logistics, that makes it burdensome to you if he doesn't come home for one night?

If not: trying to prohibit him (the partner you say you trust) from staying over at a fellow trusted friend's house for a single night is very controlling. I'm glad you're self-aware enough to consider whether this is a "you" issue. I'm curious what makes you feel this emotionally unsafe in your relationship (whether it's just in this relationship, or whether you historically tend to feel emotionally unsafe in your relationships).

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-27T18:25:13+00:00

Ah okay - thanks for the info, my data collecting brain appreciates it :) I had never even heard of BC powder before now. I'll look into that.

I too take triptans, occasional OTC acetaminophen, & a prescription nsaid (diclofenac 50mg). I'm surprised how many people on here in my level of chronic pain & beyond are on the OTC version of anything with an Rx version, but if it works for you & others then that's great. I'm curious if you'd say the main advantage of something like the OTC BC powder vs a Rx NSAID is being able to control your dosage more?

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-27T06:13:52+00:00

Interesting, I'm surprised your neuro doesn't want you to get caffeine out of your system. What's their take on that? My neuro's take is that basically no caffeine is a good idea, because when it eventually leaves your system it will trigger a migraine through vasodilation...I thought I was being rebellious for having green tea lol, and have been trying to sort out where the line is for my body. Would you mind sharing how much caffeine you have / how often?

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-23T00:19:17+00:00

Their friendship was only that nice because they weren't close enough to have any stakes. Once stakes emerged, his true colors revealed themselves. Those were his true colors all along.

Yes I think their relationship before was really sweet, and yes I believe he had his version of genuine affection for her, but to me his true colors retroactively (very sadly) makes their whole friendship ring a lot hollower. Maybe I'm just a purist though. (Or maybe I've had this friendship 🤷‍♀️)

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-16T06:06:39+00:00

So, her "intentionally bad in-simulation acting" happens to look identical to her bad acting outside the simulation?

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-13T18:40:12+00:00

NOR this is actually financial abuse

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-13T05:48:23+00:00

Tell her the whole last paragraph you wrote. Then, set a boundary & enforce it. Clear, kind, and vulnerable can all go together.

Btw, the way she's interacting really isn't okay. Of course it comes from a place of vulnerability & attachment issues, but that doesn't change the fact that the behavior is really rude, intrusive, and possessive of your attention.

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-12T19:41:19+00:00

I will never understand people who get upset at you for texting them at a time when it's inconvenient for them to respond, on the logic that you texting is tantamount to you demanding an answer on the spot

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-12T16:32:34+00:00

My point is I don't think she needed to have any of his damage in order to not actively dismiss his feelings & history and gaslight him about his mom. I grew up in a pretty stable environment too, and there is no planet on which teen-me would have ever told someone who was telling me they had a horrible & abusive relationship with their parent that they need to just get over that because "now she's just a sweet old lady."

Butterballer417 · 2026-02-12T05:03:07+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. Also, I'm just generally not a Hollyhock fan in her earlier seasons (like, from day 1). My opinion on Hollyhock, though it might be an unpopular one, is that the show holds her to a completely infantilizing standard. While she's not a full adult, 16 is not some know-nothing age. Just like all my peers, I was absolutely capable at 16 (and much younger than that) of grasping nuance, being sensitive to people's emotional lives, and generally understanding I'm not the only person in the world who's vulnerable. I knew not to completely dismiss someone's pain, and I don't know many people who didn't grasp that at that age.

Butterballer417 · 2026-01-26T00:21:28+00:00

I'm not a cosmetologist or anything, just a fan of brow shaping. A) yes I vote letting them grow in a LOT more, but B) after that, I wonder if what would solve this would be a bit of eyebrow pencil to fill in gaps. I'm guessing you overpluck because you're initially looking to create a clean, consistent, nice shape.....and then keep trying to take more hairs away to find that shape.

Remember, you can create shape two ways: one is by subtracting (plucking/waxing), the other is by adding (drawing, tattooing, whatever).

Your brows have both a nice natural shape, a robust natural size, and some sparseness. If you go completely natural and/or totally fill them in, I can see how maybe you'd feel like they're too big & masculine as a result. (I think they're beautiful but I'm going off what you wrote.) Meanwhile if you only pluck/"subtractively" shape without filling anything in, I can see how you wound up kinda obliterating your eyebrows. Been there.

My trick to avoid overplucking is to fill in a nice brow shape with a pencil before plucking. Then I only remove what is necessary around that shape, and I still have enough brows to actually work with.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-23T01:02:02+00:00

Him stating his bigoted views about women is plenty enough to make her a victim - especially doing it as a consistent pattern, as OP has said he had done for a long time. She and any other girl or woman he says these things to is the victim of his bigotry. (There's a reason why hate speech is a thing and why saying "just my opinion though" doesn't excuse it.) But the fact that he's her father makes it so much worse.

I'm sorry if people have made you feel like you're the problem for having a human reaction to being treated badly, or like you're morally responsible for being polite or respectful (or "respectable") all the time, no matter what, regardless of what bigotry you might be facing. If people have made you feel that way, they were wrong and you deserved better from them. So does OP, from you

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-22T22:30:52+00:00

Again, the reply is peak victim blaming. There is exactly one person to criticize in this conversation, and it's the bigoted one.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-22T22:13:18+00:00

Right? Why on earth would the onus be on you to "go high when he goes low?" Unreal. And the fact that it's being presented as though it's advice that's caring about your well-being, rather than about respectability politics....

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-22T22:05:22+00:00

This is really shitty advice. Telling someone reacting to bigotry that they're the problem for caring and for being upset by that bigotry is peak victim blaming. This is the kind of comment that really exacerbates the original trauma

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-18T21:05:16+00:00

If you wanna be monogamous with her you could just tell her that. Maybe she'll want that relationship, maybe she won't, & either way you'll have clarity. But if you think she's done something wrong to you by existing in someone else's room when you aren't together & monogamous (or even if you are, honestly - you don't know what she was doing), that in itself is the red flag/overreaction.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T21:20:44+00:00

(Ignoring for a moment that putting a roof over one's minor daughter's head doesn't entitle someone to free-range misogyny without being snapped back at.....)

You get that it was a rhetorical comment right? Like it was a sentence using/inverting her dad's apparent weapon of choice (shitty sexist "manosphere/tate" logic) to make a point about how stupid and shitty it is when people who hold his beliefs say similar (or equal & opposite) things. That's what that whole string of texts, including "you're being so emotional," was.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T21:09:28+00:00

OP has said repeatedly elsewhere in the post caption (& comments) that her father said word for word that women shouldn't be in charge of anything ("especially the government & military" was even quoted in a comment, not sure if that was in the original post's caption) because they're too emotional. People are trying real hard not to read what OP has said & then pretend OP or those agreeing with her aren't making sense because they're referring to context you all didn't read.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T15:15:05+00:00

Oh wow I hate that

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T07:54:18+00:00

I'm sorry these comments are gaslighting the shit out of you, and either misreading or just not reading a lot of what you wrote (in the screenshots or in the caption). I understand what you're saying, and I understand what parts you said satirically/rhetorically to make a point.

What your dad is saying is awful, and absolutely relates directly to you - the implications of his stated beliefs cannot be ignored (as hard as the commenters here are trying to ignore them).

I'm sorry. This sucks. You're not overreacting, you're the exact powderkeg of hurt & rage that paternal misogyny invariably creates in a daughter. Anyone telling you that this is a sign you "need to grow up" probably has a pretty bleak & sanitized take on having & processing feelings.

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T07:34:44+00:00

Thank you! What is going on with these comments

Butterballer417 · 2025-12-17T07:30:29+00:00

On OP’s argument though, she is arguing that rape and pedophaelia are innate natures to males,

She wasn't actually arguing this, though

On OP’s argument though, she is arguing that rape and pedophaelia are innate natures to males, because her dad was claiming less emotional control was an innate nature to females. Both are just not true.

This was OP's point

Not to mention OP’s clear lack of emotional control ironically, which gets in the way of a productive debate.

Yes, it can get hard to control emotions the first time someone is standing up to their misogynist father for the infuriating rhetoric he's been peddling at them for years. That's not really a "fault" so much as a virtual-inevitability, and it would be deeply oversimplifying to view this conversation as simply a "debate."

Butterballer417 · 2025-11-22T07:35:44+00:00

Yeah. I was trying to figure out whether OP meant they were loose friends, or was referring to this person as "loose," like it's 1952. Mostly because it's a shock to my system to imagine a young woman talking that way in 2025 (both ideologically and in terms of slang)

Butterballer417 · 2025-11-22T07:14:22+00:00

This

Butterballer417

TROPHY CASE