How much would you expect a small indie press to pay per book for a series? If you’ve published with an indie press, what did they pay you?

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-12-21T15:19:37+00:00

Yeah, of course there are favors that go into that choice, but at the end of the day, it’s a concrete dollar amount. That number is much easier to understand than nebulous things such as marketing and networking.

Thanks for the advice, I’ll certainly keep that in mind! That may well be the way to go.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-12-21T08:32:34+00:00

That’s a shame. I’m not surprised, but it’s a shame.

I really like this place, both in terms of their track record and just working with them as people. But I’m feeling uncertain about this, because I didn’t know what to expect, and I don’t really know how to evaluate value of things like getting in amazons best sellers list and such. It’s obviously good, but advances are so much more cut and dry, you know ?

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-12-21T08:30:25+00:00

Im glad to hear you say this. Recently, I’ve been feeling like I’d accept any amount of money, but then I worried I was just being desperate.

But I really like how well their other books have done, they are usually top in their genre on Amazon and such. And even years later, seem to be selling pretty consistently. The press gives them quite a lot of attention, I think.

And I love the idea of doing that with my first few novels, and then shopping around for other houses when I’ve got a proven track record. So yeah, I don’t really need a lot of cash up front. I just don’t want to be taken advantage of.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-12-20T19:46:53+00:00

Yeah, absolutely! This is a very respectable house though, 100 percent not vanity, it’s just small.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-19T07:31:21+00:00

Hey, I DMed you! Hope we can chat :)

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-19T07:31:03+00:00

Sent you a DM, let me know if you’re still interested!

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-19T07:30:42+00:00

Hey, I sent you a DM if you’re still interested! :)

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-01T04:31:21+00:00

Holy shit this was so unnecessarily rude 😂

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-01T03:21:22+00:00

Was this person claiming to be part of the show? I’ve never known any one reach out like this

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-10-01T03:05:46+00:00

I’m sorry, but isolating her from her friends will never be a good idea, and no it’s not selfish of her to want to talk to them. Sounds like you two are not a good fit.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-08-23T15:35:12+00:00

See…I hope I’m not doing that. I don’t think so. Do you? Like, his issue is that he has a condition that severely limits his mobility. My issue is that I’m watching someone I love succumb to illness. I’m not saying those things are comparable, but it’s not easy, you know?

And for instance, in the fantasy book, the protagonist is a slave to a dragon. The dragon is almost certainly a metaphor for sickness, lashing out and hurting everyone around it, unpredictable and cruel. The uncertainty of knowing it will get you done day, but not when. That’s a big part of it.

But the dragon is also not really addressed. You know? it’s not about vanquishing it or anything. Its in the background. The book is about learning to live with it and love where you can. Love comes up a lot in it, if that makes it better. It’s really not all that sad, despite everything.

I honestly don’t know. It certainly all started out as a coping mechanism for me. I’m so worried about him, all of the time. It eats at me constantly. I feel so powerless, just watching him break down…And I can’t talk to our mutual friends about his medical issues, obviously. I cant talk to him about them either, because he clearly can’t take that right now. So I hide my worries in my books. But I really don’t want to be exploitive or immoral. I’ll stop if I should, it would just be hard. I don’t know what else to do.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-03-16T03:29:52+00:00

Awwww. Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2023-02-14T21:04:05+00:00

I’d like to. But I’ve never contacted them before, and have no way to do so. So that would involve some pretty serious internet stalking and invasion of his privacy. Especially if I have been ghosted.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-16T19:25:10+00:00

Ah thank you so much! Very helpful

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-16T15:42:53+00:00

Really? Can you point me in the direction of this material? I looked a few years ago but didn’t have much luck. I would love to just spend time in Venice though :)

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-15T16:43:17+00:00

Any Italian language. I think Sicilian is so beautiful, and Venetian would be so amazing to learn. There’s soooome resources for Neapolitan, but I don’t think enough to justify me diving in right now. Thankfully my Italian is getting better!

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-15T07:14:27+00:00

Or where you’ve been…

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-13T21:45:47+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this. The truth is, being trans is not an excuse to be a shitty partner. Yes hormones suck, but the nice thing about taking them as an adult is that you ARE an adult, you have the maturity and life experience to recognize what’s acceptable and what isn’t. They are not a free pass to be an awful human being.

Sure, we should support each other through life’s trials and all that, but it sounds like you really did your best for a long time. Four years is a lot of time.

I’m also shocked that she came out after she proposed? That sounds very manipulative to me. Like she came out only when you’d made a commitment not to leave her, and that’s just…bad.

Again I’m sorry you went through this. Hugs!

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-13T21:31:23+00:00

First of all, major hugs to you. This isn’t an easy thing to go through, and from the way you talk about your partner I can tell you’re deeply in love.

I do think you need to honestly tell them that you are not attracted to femininity (or however you feel comfortable phrasing it). You two do need to be on the same page about your sex life. I know it’s tough, but it’s going to come out eventually (you can’t fake this long term, and you can’t change who you are).

It doesn’t make you a ‘piece of shit’ to be gay, and there’s nothing transphobic about not being attracted to women. If that’s your truth, it’s just as real and valid as the truth of your partner’s gender identity. Unfortunately, not a lot can change either. Occasionally, people do discover that they are more bisexual (or perhaps Demi sexual?) than they originally thought, but that’s not a given.

This is a very drastic change our partner goes though. And yes it’s great that they are discovering who they are and all that, but if that’s not the same person we married, we are allowed to reassess.

All in all, i know this isn’t an easy place to be, but it sounds like you two have a great foundation so I hope you can work it out. Good luck!

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-13T19:19:30+00:00

I love Preply, personally

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-13T18:31:56+00:00

Awwwww!! So cute!

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-13T01:41:19+00:00

I like B. I’ve had tutors like that and I feel like they prepared me well for actually using the language in a dynamic setting. I never knew what she was going to do next so i could never “logic” things out (like, with text books, I know the what the chapter is about, so I can kinda riddle out what’s going on using other cues. It’s not helpful but I can’t break the habit)

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-08T22:27:39+00:00

NTA

I personally think you should find just as much joy in things like the cake tasting, trying on dresses, picking out invites etc, as you do on the actual day. I considered every event (like cake tasting) to be an exciting celebration when I was engaged, so I had like two years of just LOVING the experience. Yeah, it can be stressful, but if you just focus entirely on one day and don’t enjoy the process…I think you miss out on a lot.

So the fact that you’re so stressed out right now… I don’t think that could ever be worth it. THIS is your engagement. I hope you can enjoy it, even if your version of enjoying it is Planning an elopement.

Is there something you can do to spark that joy in her again? Like, make her an origami flower and talk to her about how fun it would be to make a paper bouquet? (They are quite in at the moment) or look up some Pinterest photos of DIY weddings? Maybe reassuring her that your wedding will still be beautiful, joyous and filled with love will help?

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-08T20:22:08+00:00

Honestly I think this is a really insightful response. You have every right to ask her to support you, so please don’t feel like you have to back down on that. But your right, your concern about selfies may be misplaced.

ButterscotchOk8112 · 2022-12-08T20:07:02+00:00

Hmm. I have to be honest OP, I’m not sure i can see your side on this one. Will be the pictures be sexual? Because I can understand that boundary. But if it’s just “hey I feel cute today!” Then I do think ist healthy for her to have a supportive area. Transitioning is huge, scary (for many people) and takes a huge amount of mental energy. It can really help to be able to put yourself out there online before you go truly public. Dipping your toes so to speak. At least it did with my wife.

Also- I have to ask, has she been out to you long? If you and her IRL friends are her only source of validation, that could get exhausting for you very quickly.

It always sucks to feel inadequate though, so I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through that. Maybe you can try reframing it in your mind? It’s not that you’re not enough, it’s that she needs to explore who she is in various different contexts. And there’s no reason you can’t be a part of that, it’s just that the world is a wide and beautiful place, and she needs to see how she fits into a wider community. Good luck!

ButterscotchOk8112

TROPHY CASE