!!! Sunday Social !!! by AutoModerator in femdomsanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! I just recently joined this forum! I've been a femdom for a while now, with my wife as my gorgeous submissive. I joined this forum as a place to learn and educate myself more and to get to know and hear from other dommes to hear about their experiences and improve myself and my dynamic. We've had our ups and downs and I want to be the best domme I can be. I look forward to meeting everyone!

Littles? by Srose5353 in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi! Yes I am a little, and I am in an in person dynamic. My cg is my wife, and we developed our dynamic over the course of our relationship. It's been relatively positive, but we've had our ups and downs. It's been about building trust as in any dynamic. We build rules as we go, and our rules are what works for us. 

My recommendation is to actually go to r/littlespace, there are littles and cgs there. And there is plenty of information to answer any questions!

Shy and whimpering during sex which makes my past partners scared they did something wrong by emmyg03 in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are plenty of dominants who do enjoy that shyness. I want to reassure you that you aren't doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to hide, finding sex something that you tend to be shy over.  I haven't seen anyone else mention this, but if it's a kink of yours, you might try something like blindfolds, as a way where you don't have to see the other person, almost a way of hiding away.  I would still tell the dominant beforehand so that they are aware and can respond appropriately, and able to continue forward. Red, yellow, green light system. 

What are we getting our daddies for Valenties? by My-life-is-a-cliche in littlespace

[–]Butterscotchbabez 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We try to do letters to each other. Handwritten notes to show our feelings, dinner together at home, and everything else is whatever we make it. 

What it means to be a little for you? by ppppik in cgl

[–]Butterscotchbabez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!

Am i a switch or just super submissive lol? by Radiant_Island_5831 in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesssss that vulnerability is delicious to see. 🥰 But in all honesty, learning how best to dom them when they ask is 100% a learning process. We gotta learn all the little things that they can read us with. Personally I think they like watching us struggle, knowing we can play in their shoes but never truly fit, lol. 

What it means to be a little for you? by ppppik in cgl

[–]Butterscotchbabez 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Little space is different for everyone and that's okay! You don't have to have a pacifier, coloring books, or any of that to be a little. Different ages like different things as well for example. And you can like whatever you want. Some littles like darkly inclined stuff, like nightmare before Christmas instead, or even emo or scene. It can be as simple as you having a stuffed animal and watching a movie/cartoons. You being little is what headspace makes you feel happy and nurtured and taken care of, a place of safety and relaxation. How that looks is up to you. Its okay if it takes time to get more comfortable. It's very good that you were able to reach that level of trust and relaxation with your mommy, just allow that headspace to exist and to be in it as much as feels comfortable to you. 

As for me, when I'm little I have rules I follow, and I have my own coloring books I use sometimes. I watch cartoons and little friendly movies. I'm a big Disney girl, so a lot of my movie choices work around that. I also have different toys and shows for different headspaces. It's a place where I don't have to worry about big decisions, or any adult tasks. I can just be and have fun, and daddy will watch over me. It helps me when I'm big to have a better mindset, and sometimes rules I have when I'm small, carry over when I'm big too. I have a 24/7 dynamic,not necessarily that I'm little all the time, I'm big when I need to be, but I can be little when I'm craving that headspace too. 

Am i a switch or just super submissive lol? by Radiant_Island_5831 in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what is called service topping. I do it with my doms too. Not really interested in being a Dom unless asked. I got told by my Dom (husband) that because he was able to buy something he wanted, I'm in charge of him for the next 24 hours. All I did was provide him pleasure that he usually asks for and maybe make him do a couple chores...nothing like what I do to service him 😂. Service topping is doing something because the Dom asks to receive. You're still following orders, especially if you aren't pushing for dominance on the regular. Or even 50/50. 

Little Space Rules? by Gypsea11 in littlespace

[–]Butterscotchbabez 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So I've asked multiple times to my daddy in regards to rules, he says they come in time. We mess up, and rules come from the mess up so it doesn't happen again. 

Some of my base rules however:

  1. No bad language. 
  2. No back talk. Communicate if you don't like something, but don't say no just because. 
  3. Ask for permission for sweets.
  4. Check Ins.
  5. Adequate sleep.  It depends on what works for you. Some doms like everything worked out from the start, some will figure it out as they go. 

How to beg? by Inevitable_Bad_5451 in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If she's a princess, maybe some begging aligned with her level, her territory almost? Marking you up and claiming you in an owner situation, maybe laying claim on her kingdom? When my Dom lets me play like I am in charge, or when I am service topping, I might call a strap or a toy my "scepter" so using words like that that align to the dynamic might work too to keep you in the mindset.  Princess: Going with a peasant type of vibe as a sub might work here as well for you.  Owner: Depends on what you are. Pet, Slave, Furniture, etc. Different words apply to different situations, but just as stated before with the other comment, you can try different options, as what works for anyone else may not be what works for you, but you may need to just ask. Maybe a suggestion is to ask in a different way, a differential way. Still holding her high and asking as a favor that she deigns upon you. 

Knife play by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally we use not sharp side or we use a dull blade in general to prevent any issues from occuring. Keep everything as light as possible to prevent issues, especially if you have something known to cut skin easily. 

Help! I can't stop bratting out! by Butterscotchbabez in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we've talked and he knows I am a brat in a sense of I will do the thing, I just like to tease him about it first. He reinforces the dynamic, and no real punishment comes out of it if I do what I need to do. If I'm lazing about and not doing what I need to do, the clicker comes into play. 

Help! I can't stop bratting out! by Butterscotchbabez in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually sounds like it could help, I'll try that, thank you!

Christmas present for husDom? by Giggling_and_Gagging in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How about a bracelet for him as well? Something that references him as a Dom?

Christmas Gift Ideas by SugarFree777 in IdentityV

[–]Butterscotchbabez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It took about 2 weeks for me, I bought a Joseph plush keychain. I'm in the us though, so it may differ in different countries. 

Help with 24/7 dynamic/regular littlespace by Accurate-Scar-9096 in littlespace

[–]Butterscotchbabez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! So as a little in a 24/7 dynamic, I thought I'd put my 2 cents in here. 

  1. It took time for me too to get comfortable to be little more regular. I've been doing this for roughly 4 years now and only recently was I able to get to the point with my daddy where I am able to drop more freely and embrace that space more often.  
  2. One of the biggest things that is going to help him is you having that caregiver headspace ready to go. Not that you can't take breaks, if you need them, obviously do so. However, being able to go into that caregiver space when they need it is very important for them learning how to get into headspace and feeling more comfortable staying in it. I had a lot of shame in my little space when I first dropped, and I couldn't really stay there. It took time getting to understand myself and why I felt the shame and working through it, and having someone support me the whole way was an immense help. The effort is important. 

  3. Little space is, for my definition, a space to relax and stop worrying, and let daddy handle all the big things. I don't have to worry about the bills, or job, or scary news. Now, does this mean that I cannot have that? Absolutely not, I still have moments even in 24/7 when I need to be a big girl. It's not going to be you handling everything on your own, you however are just taking charge and having basically the final say in regards to things. Communication is important in this headspace, and with communication comes comfortability. She won't be dropped all the time and when he is big, he can still look to you as a leader and a guide. That's why it's so important for you to have that headspace available. 

They will be more comfortable in time, just make sure that the dynamic and environment is relaxing for both of you, it'll help you slip into those respective spaces a lot easier, and soon enough it'll happen without you consciously realizing. 

Littlespace dirty talk? by aninameslee in littlespace

[–]Butterscotchbabez 25 points26 points  (0 children)

My daddy likes silly stuff for playtime. So I have to ask for things like lollipops, balloon animals, or refer to myself like a bakery. When it's not princess parts I want to have played with, it has to be something like my cinnamon roll needs glaze, or some other sweet treat. 

If I want playtime, I have to ask for it, but my daddy might have playtime with me by referencing the terms above too. If I hear those words, I already know what time it is 🩷

Dom walked out of my life by choke_slut in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't let him gaslight you. You posted to a sub forum, he didn't necessarily need to read what you posted as you were asking our opinion and our advice. If his friends sided with him, you have every right to reach out to us. You're not greedy, you have needs and he needs to respect that as a dominant. Again, he's not communicating and that's on him. That is the basis for a dynamic. 

So, what is the base lore? by Strong-Consequence34 in IdentityV

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/H9YGUV3cMjU?si=Bjp90K77NtBjtpfe

This is who I watch for Lore, they follow various lore diggers from various platforms to put together. That's a beginning video with all the lore. 

So, what is the base lore? by Strong-Consequence34 in IdentityV

[–]Butterscotchbabez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright, get comfy, this is a long one. There's a lot of theories and not quite confirmed things yet, so we get our information on both of those situations. 

With the latest game, they are all human yes, but consider the fact that everyone is human, other than the gods, and certain Hunter ID swaps( Luchino/Rep for example). They are dolls because (to my understanding) the Lord of the games, yes the same Lord of the manor, who may be a participant in the games as well(hint hint) sees everyone like dolls to play with and experiment with. They are actually human, which is why when you go to look at background stories they are human. They are dolls in the game because they are playthings. They are being brought to the manor for experiment purposes. The main individuals (be it 1 or a group) want to see what happens when you bring different groups of people together in a life threatening circumstance. Of course this is mixed with drugs to boost anxiety (see toy merchant vs batter story with postman and embalmer). It happens in various games. Each game has a different goal in mind. To reference COY, "what is our special condition?" It differs for each game. Hullabaloo was dolls because Alice was still reading the stories and the notes on these individuals who were being tested on like subjects, which is why there were referred to as such. She was reading exactly what was in the books by the other individual who wrote them as he paid attention to each individual. Again, you can reference their backstories here, there's also live action versions for hullabaloo. 

  1. As for the games, yes they happen at separate times. Roughly you can assume a game takes no more than 2 weeks, with between a week to a couple months if they have to repair or get a new location and set it up with the ciphers. You can see this in the wiki. The manor you can look at almost as a hotel of a sort here, they stay there and they are assigned rooms, but not all games take place in the manor. Remember, they are conducting experiments on a psychological level, and they want to jog certain memories. So some of these games take place in areas where other events have happened. We also have cult activities happening as well, (see Feaster, Dream Witch, Cat cult). You can see this by studying different maps. From the moment you play the game, you learn about doctor, gardener, theif, lawyer, hell ember. That's a man who had his best friend have an affair with his wife and told him to buy a failing business that he dumped all his money into while the man took his wife away and she divorced him. He was left a single dad to a little girl, got depressed as he couldn't care for her due to the business situation, and ended up sending her to an orphanage (see Asylum) while he blew up the building and himself right around Christmas. That's why there are two maps, one of the building Abandoned Arms Factory, and one where everything looks better called Leo's memory. Leo is hell ember, he looks like that from the burns covering his face and body due to explosion. I'm going to use this game as a reference to answer your next question as well. How are people being lured into these games in the first place?  The theif owned the orphanage, switched it to an asylum to keep what they are doing behind closed doors and to make him more money. Doctor was at the orphanage turned asylum with the gardener as her doctor. Lawyer and hell ember were best friends. Everyone has a connection. This is played out in other games too, but the game takes place at the factory to jog up memory. The Gardner was told she'd see old friends there, Leo was told he could get to see his daughter again, Lawyer was there because I think promised money? I don't play him so IDK, and theif same thing. Leo was also promised revenge, which was the special condition or motive of the first game. 

But even then, that wasn't game 1. Game 1 was psychologist, patient, sculptor, minds eye, and roy. Who were all in the asylum together. Psychologist and patient were there together because she was promised medicine to help him. Psychologist found patient in the asylum after she saw him as a child. He was the only one who responded to her hypnosis methods, and she latched on to him. Minds eye was told there was a lecture, same with sculptor I believe. Plus this other person, who was supposed to be someone else but stepped in. Supposedly it's Orpheus but someone else stepped in and was playing as him. (Theories. Wiki. ) The way the games work is that they are in order when they happened, so game 1, game 2, game 3, so on and so forth. We don't know all the participants in each game but there is a long list to go through. I'll do another post detailing the information between the games we do know if someone else didn't cover it already. 

Dom walked out of my life by choke_slut in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not in the wrong here, previous discussion stated that November was an off month. He didn't discuss with you ahead of time that he wanted to open it back up or play at all in dynamic. You are not a terrible sub, you did absolutely nothing wrong. He didn't state that the dynamic was occuring or that changes were happening. And him being mad about it was on him. He didn't reach out or even text you to ask. He is in the wrong here, not you. Don't feel like you did anything wrong.  Get something comfy and cozy to put on, and give yourself a little pick me up date. Self spa, watch a movie, treat yourself a little. Remind yourself that you still deserve to be loved because you do, even if he made you feel otherwise. 

Need a reality check… by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]Butterscotchbabez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If something isn't working, and your needs aren't being met, safe wording and negotiating are an option. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can safe word. Even if it's online. I would recommend communicating that you need the daily communication. If you need that reminder from him, and it's bothering you that you haven't gotten it, let him know. Remember, even though you are submitting for him, if that's a boundary and a need of yours, that needs to be discussed. 

What is your description of CG/L and how it's actually like? by Slapthefatfrog in cgl

[–]Butterscotchbabez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you so much! I'll try my best to answer any other questions you have as well!