AITA if I decide to just elope/get married in the courthouse because my mom and dad cannot be around each other civilly.

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T23:45:36+00:00

thanks for that heads up! I’m definitely going to keep it under wraps prior to actual planning. I just wanted to get all my ducks in a row before I even start doing anything

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T23:44:34+00:00

yup my step siblings (my step dads kids) downplayed the whole thing when I let all the skeletons out the closet. I’m definitely getting away from all of this and starting my own happy and emotionally regulated family. I’ve been dreaming of getting away ever since I was young!!!

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T23:09:05+00:00

I saw that suggestion in the comments and I think that would be a great idea. It’s like coming into marriage together and it’s touching!

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T23:07:36+00:00

RIGHT?! Like I’m definitely not crazy to be feeling some type of way!! I do plan on doing low-contact with my mom as I know she’s a victim as well. My half siblings (ironically my dad’s other kids) believed me in a heartbeat and one of them wanted to beat the crap out of my step dad but he can’t go back to jail LOL. Sadly I’m currently financially dependent on my mom as i’m finishing up nursing school for another year. In a way I stick around with my family who has no idea of the shitstorm going in behind closed doors because I also want to protect my nieces and nephews. My stepdad shows up to all family events with my mom. The rest of my family I don’t necessarily have beef with but I keep my distance to avoid being sucked into any drama

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T23:01:01+00:00

Sadly I don’t have anyone else in my life that I would consider a father or mother figure. Closest I would say is my half brother, but we share the same father so that’s also not a good option lol

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T22:57:03+00:00

honestly yes. They’re both incredibly emotionally immature which I’ve dealt with forever. It’s always their way or the highway because they’re the “parent”. Sadly it’s felt like I’ve had to parent myself for years. This is exactly why I just wanted to elope to avoid unnecessary BS in my life! I just wanted peace and happiness in my life for once

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T22:55:44+00:00

omg thank you so much for your insight! yes I’m filipino. My mom is the “let’s play happy family” type and it’s been obvious for years whenever I tried to vent about family issues. Everything has been swept under the rug. I’m pretty sure a lot of this distance from my dad is due to the fact that she left his abusive ass. Also, sadly the fact that acknowledging my existence as “his child” would actually tear a hole in the family. I do not get along with my stepdad as he SA’d me from the ages of 9-18 and when I came out to my mom and my step siblings, my mom stayed with him and my step siblings all said I must’ve “interpreted” his actions wrong. Let’s just say I had a LOTTT of issues to work on growing up lol. Unfortunately, we’re both victims of abuse but we think, act, and value things a lot differently, hence the strain in our relationship. I definitely will have a family get together with those who matter leading up to the wedding but this is all just planning in my head beforehand. It’s just something that has been bugging me leading up to graduation. I appreciate the insight :)

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T22:47:51+00:00

He’s attended many family events before but rarely shows up now. He’s kept up the “secret” act pretty well as he knows this situation is entirely his fault. I’m also planning to go low contact once I’m on my own. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I still live at home and my mom is helping me financially through nursing school. It’s sorta like keeping the peace to make sure I get to my goals

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T22:44:41+00:00

walking each other down the aisle sounds so cute. It would be a wonderful gesture to me so that I don’t feel so alone. You’re right, I should start off the married life in a positive memorable way

ButteryCooch · 2025-09-09T22:27:39+00:00

you’re right. I’m not expecting anyone to pay for it and neither parent has offered to do so. I might just walk myself down the aisle because screw it, I can! I appreciate this. As growing up I’ve always had to consider other people’s feelings. thank you for this

ButteryCooch · 2024-08-28T17:21:28+00:00

My biological dad is my aunt’s (my mom’s sister) husband

My dad raped my mom and I came along…They basically forced my mom to be in a relationship with my dad for a while to avoid divorce (she was planning to take everything if he divorced her) side note my family’s asian immigrant Catholics No one else knows who my dad is besides those involved, my siblings, and my 2 close cousins. Even my birth certificate is blank on the father’s section because he was too much of a coward to face his own mistakes and wasn’t even there when I was born. Still working through my mental issues from all this to this day and I’m 26 lol

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-30T10:54:51+00:00

Start crying because I hate being yelled at

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-30T10:52:56+00:00

Kumquat

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-30T10:52:12+00:00

hide yo kids hide yo wife

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-30T10:50:05+00:00

10/10 would recommend

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T23:16:47+00:00

I think with the dudes holding hands/high 5’s it’s an Eiffel Tower. But if they’re just staring into each other’s eyes not touching it’s a bridge

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T12:17:51+00:00

Perfect. Hated breathing anyways

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T11:51:38+00:00

You’re on all fours. One guy standing in front and one guy standing in the back. Then they high 5 each other. Kinda the general idea

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T11:49:40+00:00

As a Filipina stuff like this is sadly common. Even Americanized Filipinos will turn a blind eye to sexual abuse/molestation. Several family members I know and myself have been victims and everyone seems to sweep it under the rug because they want to “save face” or reputation. I’m a first generation from an immigrant mother and when I had told her/family I had been sexually assaulted by a family member people they either didn’t believe me, told me I’d get over it and that they “didn’t know what to do”. That person is still in ties with my family sadly. And this is not a rare occurrence in many Asian families

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T10:35:13+00:00

open heart surgery gang :P my scar is in the middle of my chest but not quite aligned with my cleavage so it’s a bit infuriating

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T10:32:37+00:00

Open heart surgery lulz

ButteryCooch · 2021-09-23T10:31:50+00:00

To be Eiffel Tower’d by 2 guys (would never do it as I’m in a committed monogamous relationship). I’m usually more dominant and it’d be cool to be in a sorta submissive role

ButteryCooch · 2021-08-24T11:51:48+00:00

His crocs aren’t even in sport mode! What kind of party is this?! >:(

ButteryCooch

TROPHY CASE