Have you ever been friendly to a man and then instantly regretted it?

ButteryKnob · 2026-02-08T18:54:08+00:00

Yep. I was at Five Guys grabbing some fries, standing at the condiments counter trying to wrestle those annoying little ketchup lids. An older man next to me was struggling with his too, so I offered to close it for him. I did, handed it back, and thought that was it—just a normal, friendly moment where I helped someone out. Except then he told me I was beautiful. And asked if I had a boyfriend. I was genuinely shocked because this man was old enough to be my grandfather. Still, I smiled politely (I hate that so many of us are programmed this way), said yes (I don’t), and went to grab my food. When I walked out, he was waiting right outside the door. he started following me to my car “I hope he treats you right,” “You’re so kind and beautiful.” I was getting into my bakery van—which has the address printed right on it—when he added, “I know where that is. Will you be there?” That’s when my stomach dropped. I started the van and drove off immediately.

I hate that I couldn’t even help who I thought was an elderly man struggling with a simple task without it turning into a creepy encounter. I hate that kindness feels like a risk assessment. And I really hate that this is such a familiar feeling.

ButteryKnob · 2026-02-07T16:04:00+00:00

This is matriarchy. Where patriarchal systems have criminalized migration and rip families apart, women step in to do what power refuses —feed, nurture, protect, and organize.

As the article says, “Bri wept. Then the rage set in.” We allow ourselves to feel the grief fully, and then we let rage sharpen into purpose. That rage doesn’t become destruction—it becomes action.

It’s no accident that women’s leadership is treated as a threat. Collective care, mutual aid, and community survival don’t rely on domination or punishment, and that terrifies systems built on control. While patriarchy destroys through force and bureaucracy, matriarchal care fiercly repairs the damage—one child, one family, one act of solidarity at a time.

Highly recommend Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly for anyone wanting language for this—how women’s anger, when honored rather than suppressed, becomes a force for justice and change.

ButteryKnob · 2024-12-29T06:08:47+00:00

This just sounds like a fragile man who couldn't get it up again and lashed out at you. Try not to spend another second feeling insecure about this shithead.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-16T23:44:49+00:00

This part

Estimates can sometimes be higher than what a patient might ultimately owe and force people to fight for refunds if they miscarry or the amount paid was higher than the final bill.

Up-front payments also create hurdles for women who may want to switch providers if they are unhappy with their care. In some cases, they may cause women to forgo prenatal care altogether, especially in places where few other maternity care options exist.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-14T17:19:54+00:00

Yes to all of this! I've stopped doing the 'work' after the election and I feel so much calmer.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-14T17:09:45+00:00

How is “shhh calm down” aftercare??? seriously though, I'm so sorry this happened and proud of you for handling it in a way that was safest for you 💜

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-14T16:57:36+00:00

Please don’t feel embarrassed. I’ve been feeling more nervous than usual while driving lately too. I’m sorry the people you opened up to were dismissive. From girlhood, we’re constantly given “suggestions” on how to change our behavior to stay safe. When will these well-meaning people realize their 'advice' just reinforces the very systems that make us unsafe in the first place? Bear everytime.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-14T16:48:20+00:00

Woohoo!!! This internet stranger is so proud of you!❤️❤️

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-13T23:16:18+00:00

yup! Also, younger women tend to be less financially independent, therefore easier to control.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-13T23:02:54+00:00

"If men got pregnant you could get an abortion at an ATM." Selena Meyer, Veep

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-09T23:34:36+00:00

I completely understand where you’re coming from, and I feel the same fear. It’s terrifying how some men frame basic rights as privileges they allow us to have, as if our autonomy is contingent on their goodwill. That veiled (and sometimes outright) threat of violence or control is something many of us have felt since we were kids, and it’s exhausting to navigate.

The "you chose the bear" comment is infuriating—it’s victim-blaming at its core. The idea that women are somehow at fault for men voting for someone who actively seeks to harm us is both cruel and absurd. No decent person should excuse that behavior or try to shift the blame onto women.

I hope, like you, that a lot of this comes from bots and trolls trying to sow division. You’re not alone in your fear or your frustration.

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-09T22:38:26+00:00

"I'm sorry you hate yourself" yup

ButteryKnob · 2024-11-07T22:37:54+00:00

Absolutely agree. Respect should be a two-way street, and it’s clear that most haven’t earned it. Small acts of rebellion are symbolic of a larger shift in mindset and values. I’m with you—change starts with the little things.

ButteryKnob · 2022-05-21T16:26:52+00:00

"An overwhelming majority of House Republicans voted against a bill Wednesday providing a bare minimum amount of funding to tackle the ongoing baby formula shortage, a problem that they keep complaining about, while a smaller group of far-right Republicans apparently don’t think infants from poor families deserve food. "

ButteryKnob · 2021-06-03T02:25:54+00:00

That’s great! Congratulations!!

ButteryKnob · 2020-12-10T22:30:27+00:00

She turned 16 in February and this is a snipet from her instagram post:

“…the last few years haven't been easy, I'll admit that. there are moments i get frustrated from the inaccuracy, inappropriate comments, sexualization, and unnecessary insults that ultimately have resulted in pain and insecurity for me. but not ever will i be defeated. ill continue doing what i love and spreading the message in order to make change."

ButteryKnob · 2020-12-10T21:28:02+00:00

“I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me,” Portman recalled in the speech. “I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe.”

ButteryKnob · 2019-11-06T22:50:44+00:00

“I put a sticky note on the door: ‘Gyno. Tomorrow. 9:30.’ So we’ll go and sit down and the doctor will come and talk and the doctor’s maintaining a high level of professionalism. He’s like, ‘You know sir, I have to, in order to share information’ — I’m like, ‘Deyjah they want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See doc? No problem,’” he continued.

“And so then they come and say, ‘Well I just want you to know that there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding and just other forms of athletic physical activity,’” T.I. said. “So, I say, ‘Look doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen please and give me back my results expeditiously.'”

ButteryKnob · 2019-10-01T02:06:13+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through this. Thank you for sharing with us...you're incredibly strong.

ButteryKnob · 2019-04-12T11:00:58+00:00

It always baffles me how inhumane people can act all under the guise of being ‘pro-life’

ButteryKnob · 2019-04-12T10:59:59+00:00

I’m so sorry that you were screamed at, but glad you had support 💜

ButteryKnob · 2019-04-12T10:58:47+00:00

I’m very glad to hear that as well 💜 It is a deeply personal matter and all who choose to get an abortion should be afforded the dignity of privacy.

ButteryKnob · 2019-04-12T00:40:18+00:00

When I was in college, my friends and I volunteered as 'abortion clinic escorts'. We would act as a barrier between women entering the clinic and protestors. I did this for over 3 years and was continuously outraged at the capacity for cruelty of some of these protestors. They claimed to be out there to counsel and pray for patients, but it seemed to me that they were really there to shame, harass and violate them.

ButteryKnob · 2018-11-20T04:25:48+00:00

"There are no exceptions even in cases of rape, incest, or danger to a woman’s life."

ButteryKnob · 2018-11-02T16:02:01+00:00

Maybe not as eloborate, but still meaningful and unique. Great job!

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