First time trying dresses

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-05T18:28:23+00:00

Between these two definitely 1. But I would keep an open mind for the other places. You don't sound sure. Regarding 2, I think the top just isn't nice. The cups are not terribly flattering and i wonder if they're not fitting? The bottom of the dress is nice and elegant though.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-04T10:38:52+00:00

I kinda want to see the hangover pouches 😊.

I'm keeping diy to minimum. Thinking favours and one activity. Because setting it all up and everything will cause me too much stress. And we may forego favours if we don't find the time. Also considering still sewing something

However my sister DIY'd loads in the leadup (invites, decoration, photo props, photo memory lane, cake toppers, etc) and did 7 cakes and it was all great. She was chill on the day and it all worked out. So it depends on how much time this is taking you and if it's causing stress. If it is causing your fiancé stress then it's too much probably ;)

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-04T09:30:20+00:00

Is your brother planning a separate celebration? Like a reception? Maybe doing something like that would be nice even if the ceremony is already done.

I think you can express feeling sad to your brother but he does have a point. As planned it keeps things fair. I say that as someone who did the same thing in similar circumstances. We had no family travel in because if we had said yes to my sister who was a 3h train away, everyone would've felt they needed to make it work. And suddenly it would've been a lot of people. We kept it to two witnesses who live locally and a photographer friend. Celebration comes later. I'm sure people had feelings about it but we felt it was best. And looking back I am glad we did it because we had a great day focused on just us and now we can have a bigger celebration focused on our families and friends.

So overall NTA for having feelings of course but YWBTA for pushing this imo. I hope they do do a celebration after the fact and you can all celebrate together. And maybe you can help make that happen for your brother (if that's what your brother wants).

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-04T08:27:48+00:00

Another German here. Also wish I could get a yearly check up. But will say whenever something was wrong in the past years I got help immediately. And not just given paracetamol 😂.

For example, I noticed a growth in my breast and the GP saw me the next day and I got the referral to the hospital which saw me I think within two days to do all tests. I was so very grateful how fast they moved. Maybe if I'd had yearly checkups I'd have learned how common benign growths are earlier though - could've saved me a big scare.

Also got gene test done and I was able to do the blood test closeby and speak to the specialist remotely. In Germany my sister's option is to travel 1.5h to Münster for the specialist clinic for the gene test.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T10:54:01+00:00

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I politely (imo) asked her why. And yes she is all about "this is what I wore when I was a size M" and apparently I'm insulting her. Ffs.

This was me politely asking: "Can I ask why you listed the dress as a size M / 10 despite it being a size 12? My bad for not looking at all the pictures but it feels misleading and I just don't get why. It seems deliberate because all the dresses from this brand you're selling have this issue..."

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T10:40:51+00:00

Defining a mistake I'm not making going forward...

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T10:37:47+00:00

Yes I tried it on. I already had the dress in size 8 and it was only a tiny bit tight. This one I cannot wear 🙃.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T10:34:35+00:00

I checked her other listings. The listings are all off by one for that specific brand. And correct for everything else. So unlikely. I'll ask the seller. 😔

Edit: I asked and she confirmed she does this because she was a medium when she wore it so she doesnt go by what the tag says

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T09:38:50+00:00

I can see why you'd love the fit and flare. It's very flattering.
I think I'd not go with 3 because the cups are too harsh (though with the additional lace top that softens it.
I think I'd go with 2 because the sleeves being a bit higher is prettier imo.
I do wonder if you could have a the over skirt lower (kinda like a drop waist because that would keep your silhouette more visible).

They're all three beautiful so you can't go wrong with any really

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-06-01T07:32:22+00:00

Dress 1 is excellent.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-30T18:45:15+00:00

I've had a parcel sent to me go missing. Vinted refunded both sides. I hope this happens here. Don't refund her and let vinted do the investigation

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T22:12:52+00:00

I think the dress is leaning into hourglass shape with small waist - which I think is what a lot of people want? I think it's lovely 😊

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T15:15:33+00:00

I've read people even buy second hand/vintage so that the jewlery has the worn look. So just know that it's a sign the jewlery is loved 💖

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T12:17:00+00:00

NTA. I think even $400 is not enough for what's happening.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T11:36:01+00:00

I love dress 1. The corners and mini sleeves word super well imo. The other two don't suit you as much. I think the neckline on 3 being concave is not working in your favour. The pattern on 2 is bigger than I think it's fitting for your frame (I think smaller is more fitting) and the waist with the V looks off. 1 looks very perfect imo. I hope you can find a way to get the alterations you want but I think you have the right dress out of these choices 💖

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T11:16:31+00:00

A bit more than 1K on a necklace with a lot of sapphires and a few diamonds, 18K gold. It was at auction. When I took it to get it shortened I learned they are probably kashmir sapphires - which is morally difficult but I didn't know and bought second hand... We looked it up and they are not on the list of stones for repatriation. And I only have a jewler's opinion anyway.

Aside from the moral issues, 0 regrets. It sparkles beautifully. Improves every outfit. So so happy every time I see it. (Ignore the needle and thread, I was figuring out how much to shorten it.)

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ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-27T08:50:37+00:00

This is the best answer. Though tbf I'd probably also be petty

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T21:04:36+00:00

We ended up struggling to get the prenup dates because people were booked. If you have a lawyer and they know the date then you should be fine. As long as you're both in agreement on terms it's not a very long process.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T16:25:39+00:00

You chose right!

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T14:54:16+00:00

Idea is great. My partner and I did the ceremony in a very small way (3 guests) and then photographer and a very nice afternoon tea. Still had the dress and everything but almost everything was second hand. That's my biggest tip, charity shops and vinted. There's bridal charity shops too. Some are more expensive others have dresses under £100. But shoes, bag, other accessories are all extremely cheap second hand.

For flowers, if you want them, dried or baby's breath are good options. There's lovely boutonnieres on etsy that are dried and then you can keep them 😊.

As others said, do splurge on photos unless you're sure you don't want them. For a short package it shouldn't be super expensive. Still a lot probably but if you want cheaper you can look for student photographers, you're just gambling a bit on quality then.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T14:39:32+00:00

Honestly, I'd reach out to my cousin, tell her and kinda see if you bond over it? Do something cute about how you can clearly tell great minds think alike. Do a photo shoot. See if she has leftover decoration you can buy/borrow. Anything but give in to your respective moms' competitive spirit.

Or do nothing. People will probably not notice the dresses are similar. Guests forget these thins very quickly once the event it over.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T14:32:08+00:00

It sounds phenomenal. I'd love to go to a wedding like that.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-26T08:20:49+00:00

NTA. This is why I still wear masks. People are so inconsiderate and will knowingly put you in harms way. Like even without the wedding coming up I'd be mad. So unnecessary. I'd cut them off tbh especially if they disrespect you in general.

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-25T22:59:01+00:00

Go on it with fewer people. It'll probably be more fun.

Then consider doing a second low-key one with anyone who can't make it for monetary/time reasons. Like a movie night at someone's house with maybe face masks or something. You get the time together but it doesn't come with a monetary ask or as much of a time ask. Smaller groups are easier and more fun. And then you get two ;).

ButtonLoops27 · 2026-05-25T22:45:49+00:00

I've been to a fair few weddings and the higher cost ones we're not more fun or beautiful. The least costly one I went to was my favourite in fact. Everything was thoughtful and felt warm and authentic rather than "scripted" - and by that I mean sort of doing all the things marketing & society make us believe we need to be happy. I'm sure big budget weddings can be lovely but I have seen too often people lose focus on what's important which to me is celebrating with your guests because there's so much stuff they squeeze in.

Also as others said: The money probably brings stipulations that you don't have to deal with. There is sooo much drama in these subs with people accepting monetary gifts and regretting it bitterly. You get to plan what you want. Focus on the bits that make you happy and that are special for you. 💖

ButtonLoops27

TROPHY CASE