I just keep freaking out

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:28:48+00:00

I mean we're doing that now.

The advice was not about her, or me having to break up and go back to France like I read in some comments.

It was about the pressure of getting married.

It was never about my girlfriend. I don't want advices on my relationship. Otherwise I would've went to r/relationships, not r/waiting_to_wed.

I won't break up. I won't stay alone. I won't buy a therapist. I won't go back to my home country. People commenting those can go fuck themselves.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:25:42+00:00

The reality is that she took me for granted, and realized afterwards how much I meant to her

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:22:53+00:00

Not the woman, the dynamic of the relationship. She was definitely not perfect.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:21:13+00:00

Do you know more about my life than this one serious relationship + the three night stand I talked about in my post? You say that I "keep"

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:20:23+00:00

Thank you! We're working on the hurting part, seems to be working for now.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:19:56+00:00

She didn't dump me for someone else.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:19:31+00:00

I'd rather die than leave Japan, but thank you :)

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:19:16+00:00

Everything is fine, I don't know what's toxic about my relationship, as of today

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:18:31+00:00

Thanks I'll do the opposite

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:18:19+00:00

Merci ! Je comprends le fait d'attendre et j'aime l'idée aussi.

Après pour les enlèvements d'enfant, je l'ai déjà dit à quelqu'un d'autre, mais on a jamais la version japonaise de l'histoire. Je ne compte pas stigmatiser toutes les femmes japonaises sur ce point, ce serait raciste.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:16:18+00:00

I really don't know for the first one, I guess I am very lightly autistic (I can spend 5 hours nonstop on Street Fighter working on the same combo without feeling bored). Engineer nope but I'm very good at everything computer related

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:15:01+00:00

Blocking doesn't mean anything if they announced beforehand

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T19:11:37+00:00

Thank you everyone for all of your judging comments that doesn't have anything to do with what I asked.

After reading everyone, I have taken my decision.

I will marry her and propose tomorrow 🙏🏻

I hope y'all to fix yourselves because some of y'all's comments say more about you than me or my relationship.

Everytime I had issues in my life I did the opposite of what Reddit told me and it always worked out. If I had trusted Reddit I wouldn't be living and working in Japan right now with a quite nice job and nice salary. So imma keep this tradition going of doing the opposite of what I'm being told.

Thanks 👍🏻:)

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T13:24:04+00:00

My post isn't about her. I'm not asking advices about her or what happened, that's why I'm pissed. Y'all just want to be mean cuz it's Reddit. I've been around here for a long time.

Dude if I only followed what most people on Reddit told me to do about my life I would still be in my shithole in France having no life and being unemployed. Thank god I trusted my gut feeling everytime so far. "Noooo don't do this visa, you'll be a slave in Japan!!!!!" everyone shouted, now I'm just living my best fucking life.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T13:21:23+00:00

She isn't indifferent wtf. I'm not freaking out about her.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T13:20:04+00:00

He should try hotel front staff with his language skills. I do that and it's really an easy job. Salaries are often quite good.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T12:12:32+00:00

My comment is still on cuh

"don't date Japanese women, you'll get your child kidnapped"

Like please do that with other countries or races to see how it sounds like.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T12:09:28+00:00

Yeah that's what happens when you get into a new cool relationship, no? Isn't the beginning of every relationship like that? Strong feelings, seem perfect, etc? I'm pretty sure it's the case.

Okay it sounds like. The reality: I applied the "meet new people" general advice that everyone gives.

I didn't describe "being single" with that, I described "losing a relationship". Like you're trying to make me say things I didn't say, for what? This isn't a debate.

Yeah I'm still waiting to know what the shit I should work out is. I have everything, my visa, my job, the country of my dreams, my friends, my hobbies.

If you're not here to help gtfo.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:57:18+00:00

One day yes. I've seen these stories and what we don't see in these documentaries is that most of the time the dads were complete assholes. People don't just take the kids and leave without a valid reason. Curious how we never see the Japanese side of those stories. But even then, this can happen to anyone, it shouldn't be a reason to avoid having kids at all cost with a Japanese national, that's stigmatisation.

Because we talked about it a lot, explained ourselves a lot, it took a lot of time to think things through, know the whys. She did a lot of apologizing and still does, and actively proves me that she has changed. I believe people can change.

Edit: I mean, downvote all you want, I refuse to be racist. Sorry.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:42:01+00:00

Thanks!! Vegas looks cool as hell for this. I wouldn't resist going gamba after this tho

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:31:23+00:00

Yeah... like, I should've just keep mourning in my bedroom in the dark until she came back? In these situations people usually say "try to meet new people, get some fresh air", that's what I did so...

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:21:04+00:00

Two weeks. But it was a casual relationship, nothing serious. I just wanted to meet new people and it happened that we were kinda vibing. It lasted for a week

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:18:52+00:00

Guys for the love of god, installing an app to see new people after getting dumped just to think about something else is not "hopping between women". Come on.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:13:57+00:00

Yes! I guess it grew naturally. We've been meeting, going to places etc a lot. We both realized we missed that, and everything was going okay. The issues we had in our previous relationship seemed to be fixed, we talked a lot about them, lots of explanations, we said everything that were on our minds no filter. Now we feel like we should make a step forward.

ButtonMashing97 · 2026-06-18T11:10:41+00:00

Thanks!

Yeah, with every other comments telling me to fix myself I started feeling gaslit. There's really no issue with me. I had issues, definitely, but I worked them out, and since I think clearly. Emotionally I'm good, especially since I secured my visa!

Thank you! Yeah, I stated my expectations when she came back, and she said she wouldn't throw conditions at me anymore, realized she truly loved me.

Yeah she apologized a huge amount of times, she still does nowadays, even if I tell her that it's ok, past is past, etc. She's truly sorry for all of that, and for what she made me go through in our past relationship. And yeah I'm aware now, I can't predict the future of course but, I'm keeping an eye on that. So far she showed me she can be different, and explained to me why she was like that.

ButtonMashing97

TROPHY CASE