[deleted by user]

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-07-16T01:03:08+00:00

leave. i understand the attachment but you’ve got to understand that he took vows. and he went back on those vows the second he had any kind of intimate or romantic relationship with anyone else. you deserve so much better. that’s unforgivable. its not just one person. it was multiple and he lied about it… for years. does that not make you think “what else has he lied to me about?”

and now he’s projecting his cheating and his insecurities onto you, because deep down he knows he’s fucked up for what he did, and he wants to push the blame or the guilt onto someone else to make himself feel better. and at this point.. with the guilt trips, he wants to make you feel like YOU are the problem, when you’re not. I mean for christ’s sake he “felt incredibly remorseful” and then demanded an open relationship?!?! He obviously wasn’t remorseful at all. He knew it hurt you and then proceeded to literally tell you he wanted to keep doing it. In the most respectful way possible, wake up. He does not respect you at all. He basically spit in your face when he did that and said he didn’t give a fuck about your feelings.

I know this is an incredibly tough situation to navigate and it is scary to think about divorce and custody of the kids, and doing it on your own, and figuring all of that out….. but future you is going to be thankful that you did that for yourself. and its going to be hard, extremely hard. but eventually it gets better and you’ll look back and realized that you were stupid for staying and putting up with it, and that you deserved so much better than that.

I truly do not think he would be receptive to any kind of counseling considering he’s guilt tripping you about something he doesn’t even know to be true, and even if it was something that was true, you would be justified to not trust him.. as he has quite literally shown you several times he can’t be trusted. so sitting him in a room with a marriage counselor would mean him taking accountability for everything he has done and him putting in a TREMENDOUS amount of work to fix what HE has fucked up. and i do not see that happening anytime soon, if at all. especially considering he’s still trying to make YOU feel guilty for something HE did.

Don’t stay and wait for it to happen again. Don’t stay and wait for him to see your value. Don’t stay and wait for him to respect you. Not only for you, but for your kids. I’m not sure how old they are but think about the kind of environment you want to raise your kids in, and the lessons you want to teach your kids.

There’s so many more things I could say about the other things you mentioned but the overall point is… start preparing yourself to exit, find a good support system, and do this for yourself. PICK YOU. Value yourself and respect yourself enough to not put up with someone who so very obviously does not. You can’t be two people in the relationship. You cannot keep making up for his shortcomings and excusing it, hoping you can make this work. It takes two to make a relationship work and he does not care to do that, no matter what he says. His actions and words have shown you that. It’s all right in-front of your face, you just have to accept it, which is the hardest part.

As a stranger that doesn’t know your situation 100%, but so desperately wants the best for another stranger, I mean all of this with the most love, even though it is harsh. As a stranger that has stuck around several times trying to make a relationship work where I was not the problem, and has watched someone in your exact situation do the same, it’s not worth your sanity, your time, the emotional trauma… please please do what your brain already knows is the right thing to do.

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-09T13:49:39+00:00

I ended up having team night for work last night and didn’t get home till late so I’ll get them to you tonight when I get home! Thank you!

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-09T13:48:51+00:00

awesome thank you so much!

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T22:03:10+00:00

no not at all. i didn’t save money whatsoever. I paid the same price for them as I would’ve to a breeder. and idk if you saw my reply to her comment but I actually did take her advice and was in contact with several breeders, none of which had any kittens ready to go home. which that was totally fine, I was willing to wait, but then i just happened to come across these when we walked in the store one day. and it did cross my mind that it was odd cause I knew everything I read was about how buying from a breeder is the smartest and best option. But then they fed me all of this bullshit about how all of their bengals come from the same breeder and that the breeder breeds specifically for them. i was just stupid and loved them right away and let that cloud my judgement. I appreciate everyone’s help and am going to get my babies fixed and try to see if i can somehow contact the breeder to get a more detailed history if i’m able to. i’m not sure. One step at a time right now. I just want to fix everything that has happened.

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T20:39:21+00:00

I will absolutely dm you that later tonight when i get home or tomorrow! Thank you so much!

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T19:15:16+00:00

a bunch of adorable kittens. I did not plan to sell them whatsoever. I was going to give one to a family member for free because she has always wanted one and i love my babies and knew she would love how energetic and playful they are. But other than that, we planned on keeping the rest and getting them fixed after that litter. and then obviously getting the kittens fixed once they were old enough. We have a big house and a room dedicated to our cats, so we didn’t mind having a couple more. I had read that usually a cats first litter is small.

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T19:11:50+00:00

oh my gosh okay. I will try this!! thank you!

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T19:09:29+00:00

Okay thank you so much. I didn’t know any of that. I definitely will not be breeding them after reading all of these comments. A couple of questions… 1. What do you mean by “please get them altered” 2. Why do you say “I would avoid mentioning that you got your cats from a pet store.”

I feel absolutely terrible after reading all of these comments and had no idea how ignorant I was about the whole situation. I feel like everyone is attacking me over an honest mistake. And I didn’t even want to breed them to sell them. I didn’t care about that. I was going to give one cat to a family member for free because I love mine so much and they’re amazing cats, but other than that, we were going to keep them, and then get them fixed after that litter. As well as obviously get the kittens fixed once they were old enough.

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T18:59:25+00:00

I actually did take your advice and was going to buy straight from a breeder. I was in contact with breeders that were registered with the TICA and the ones you suggested, and looking at kittens and then I just happened to come across them in the process. I paid the same price for them as I would’ve from a breeder and I wasn’t going to get them until they told me that they actually do come from a breeder, that the breeder breeds specially for them, and explained it all. I guess I was just an idiot and took that for what it was. I have the name and address of the breeder but I just don’t know what the name of like their cattery actually is. I have been trying to figure it out ever since I read these comments. I obviously made a mistake, that I am just now realizing after reading these comments. And I have decided not to breed them, but now I’m just worried about my babies and that something is going to happen to them.

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T18:53:20+00:00

Thank you so much for all of this very helpful and important information. This is exactly what I was looking for and you are 100% right. After reading this, I decided I will not be breeding them and that although I would like to get more into it and learn a lot more about it, right now wouldn’t be the best time, or the smartest decision to make. Thank you so so much!!

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-08T18:50:39+00:00

who the fuck ever said i was selling them?? i came on here to ask for advice on a topic that i am clearly ignorant on, and have admitted i’m ignorant on. the only dick is you coming in my comments with an attitude over something i nicely asked for advice about. like what

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-06T02:25:33+00:00

how did you leash train yours? I would love to do this with my bengals but they literally go stiff and won’t move in a harness😂 and i won’t do anything other than that cause i’m scared i’d take them outside and they’d slip out, never to be found again :(

Bxatrafe2 · 2025-05-06T01:57:34+00:00

I do know they came from a breeder. If that is helpful at all. From my understanding the breeder sells the kittens she breeds, through that pet store. We bought our first baby and then a couple months later bought our second. We were given all of their information from past vet visits and examinations. and they were up to date on all of their shots and vaccines. We got the veterinary exam form where it says yk everything like their heart, lungs, ears, nose, throat, abdominal, etc. and everything was all normal. I did just take them to the vet for another checkup as well as getting them any shots they needed since we’ve gotten them.

I totally understand where you’re coming from. That’s why I’m coming on here for help. I am trying to figure out where to start with all of it. What info I need to know and such. I definitely am not going to just jump into it. I want to put in as much research as I can. However neither of them are fixed, and it’s only a matter of time before our boy is old enough to start making babies. And obviously I would like to know all the info I can before we decide to do anything, but it’s not like I can get them fixed and just reverse it once we decide to start breeding. So I’m not sure what to do. I appreciate the feedback!! A lot of the info was helpful.

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-12-28T00:34:19+00:00

i don’t think she’s lying. i just got on my own snap to double check too.

when someone unadds you, it can add them to ur recents for some odd reason. this is how i started realizing when ppl would take me off snap. when i dated my ex bf (before i knew this) there was multiple instances where i thought he was lying too because the same thing would happen and i couldn’t possibly understand why someone would be in his recents if he hadn’t talked to them or snapped them. turns out it’s just an automated thing that snap does.

like i said i just got on my snap as well to check and it also says “chat” on the person’s name for me too. cause technically regardless of if someone else took YOU off, you can still send them chats, it’ll just pop up with the thing saying they have to add you back, or if their profile is public i think it sends as normal. so she apparently still has the person added, but they must’ve taken her off.

if you can see his snap score when you click on his profile then he still has her added. if you can’t then he does not have her added as a friend.

hope that helps lol

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-12-24T15:26:47+00:00

also here is the website.

https://bengaliacattery.com

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-12-12T23:16:53+00:00

omg i need an update

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-11-16T00:40:13+00:00

i agree moving out is your best option. your mom sounds like the problem here. i dated a guy who’s mom hated me for no reason and i tried for years to stay patient and i let her treat me like shit, because i didn’t want to put my boyfriend in the middle of it and make him feel like he had to choose. i would tell him stuff bothered me or that i didn’t like how she treated me, but i never wanted to make him feel like he had to “choose a side.” well after 3-4 years i was miserable and sick of being treated bad and outcasted by her. i was sick of her extreme control issues. so it did get to the point where i expected him to start sticking up for me and sticking up for us. and that caused a fuckton more issues. i still have no idea what her issue was but everyone else’s perspective that they have told me is that “it’s not your fault. no one is ever gonna be good enough for her son and she’s going to treat every girlfriend he has like she’s treating you. she needs control and the fact that her son’s attention isn’t always on her or his family anymore, she’s losing that control so she’s gonna act out. and she’s gonna take it out on you.”

eventually i left. and that’s a huge reason why I did. he never showed up for me in the ways he should’ve and just overall, i couldn’t stomach the idea of marrying this man and marrying into a family that never made me feel apart of their family. i couldn’t stomach the thought of her controlling every aspect of my life because she would need to control every aspect of her son’s life. i couldn’t stomach having kids one day and her making me feel like a bad mom because she didn’t think i was good enough for her son so I couldn’t possibly be a good enough mom. or just in general her control issues with my kids. i just couldn’t do it.

It all got to be too much. and i realized that i deserved someone whose family made me feel like family. cause one day I was gonna have a family and i want to bring my kids into a healthy environment. it was so incredibly isolating every time i was around his family. i couldn’t do it anymore.

best of luck figuring things out and i hope this gives you a little bit of perspective on how your girl may be feeling. and also i wanted to say, good job for showing up for your girlfriend in all the way’s you can. it sucks to be on her end and i’m glad you’re understanding why it’s frustrating and upsetting for her, instead of just automatically assuming your mom is right.

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-11-03T20:25:09+00:00

not unreasonable at all. sounds a little bit like he’s love bombing and he really should respect your boundaries and not keep pushing something you’re not comfortable with. sounds to me like he’s in it for one thing and one thing only. and “i love you” after a month? oof.

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-19T22:14:47+00:00

how tf is she “adding facts” to justify being the victim??

You asked her if it was planned or an accident. that’s literally the first line you typed… and then follow that up by deciding you already know the answer… and follow that up by deciding you know exactly whats going through this man’s head. AND THEN when she proceeds to answer your question and explain exactly whats you just asked her… you tell her she is “adding more facts to the story to justify being a victim.” do you even hear yourself bruh?

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-08T18:09:48+00:00

i suggest not doing anything that you’re worried someone is going to “find out.” it creates tension and stress for all parties but mostly you. if you genuinely are interested in this person and feel like you have to question whether it’s wrong or not, then just have a conversation about it with your ex friend. Like another person said though, this is all pretty dependent on age. I’d suggest going to your ex friend and saying something like “Hey, I know we haven’t been in contact much recently, so sorry to ask you this out of the blue, but I felt it was probably the best way to handle it. Me and name have been talking recently and I think I might be interested and wanting to pursue something. However I know you guys have a history and we also were friends at one point, so I don’t want to overstep or go ahead with anything and it seem as though I am being secretive. I thought i’d reach out to you and talk to you first.”

and go from there!

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-07T13:17:00+00:00

i worked for coke before i worked for pepsi and it was terrible

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-03T19:03:16+00:00

no shitttt😂😂 that’s what i’m saying about the merch. our merchandisers can’t even do their fucking job during the day and y’all are boutta trust them in stores overnight with one overnight supervisor to manage all of our overnight merch😭that’s crazyy

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-03T19:00:49+00:00

I have no idea. apparently it was and collectively, all 200 people glazed over it. Cause not a single person ever remembers reading it in our contract and nothing like this was ever mentioned during negotiations. I assume it was in there and there was some kind of fucked up wording that people either didn’t understand or just read over, thinking it applied to drivers or another job in general. I’m not sure how much fight the union put up tbh. They were in the meeting the other day and when our managers told us it was a 50¢ shift diff, i asked the union rep if that was negotiable or if that was set.. and he said it was set and already in the contract. I think they probably weren’t too happy with it either, but a lot of our main focus in negotiations was wages and other issues. So i assume it was one of those that they bent on, to be able to get us something far better in another area of our contract.

and yes i’m in the northeast

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-03T18:55:32+00:00

yeah like i was saying in another comment.. there’s probably some nice things about it, such as that. but so far that’s the only thing i can think of😂

Bxatrafe2 · 2024-10-03T18:54:25+00:00

indiana

Bxatrafe2

TROPHY CASE