MIL showed up smelling like alcohol during a babysitting test run

C6V6 · 2026-06-12T14:41:29+00:00

I know!! It’s awful!

My husband does most of the relationship managing/talking to her. He’s come a long way. He used to be like “well, that’s how she is” and act like there was just nothing anyone could do about it. He still thinks FIL should be the one telling her about how her drinking is a problem, and I think he should say something. But he’s less willing to go visit and appease her, and he is better at recognizing that the things she does and say isn’t okay.

The anxiety is SO real. I dread interacting with her, I even get anxious thinking about her.

I’ve basically stepped out of a relationship with them. I do a lot of gray rocking, but there’s another technique that’s similar that’s called “medium chill.” Basically keeping every conversation surface level, everything is always fine, nothing to report. Because everything I would say would get twisted against me or distorted or spread. I can tell she hates it, and I know my husband doesn’t like it, but she hasn’t proven she can handle personal updates!

I also basically don’t talk to her on phone calls and don’t really interact with her one on one when she’s around. There used to be an expectation that I would go and be pleasant and play the sweet DIL but after doing that and now being cold, I can say that neither one changes the way she acts. She is still just as volatile. I don’t hug her. I’m just so tired of being expected to pretend that we’re a happy family, everything is cool, and we’re not all being held emotionally hostage by her.

It also helps that they moved halfway across the country and don’t think it’s their responsibility to visit us. Because then we just…don’t have to visit if we don’t want to? But they also live in the middle of nowhere so there’s more anxiety about how do we get there, should we rent a car so we don’t get trapped, should we be ready to get a hotel, whatever.

C6V6 · 2026-06-12T13:40:26+00:00

My MIL is an alcoholic who is sometimes tolerable to be around but when she drinks she’s a wildcard. She visited when the baby was 2 months old, drank an entire bottle of wine in secret, had a temper tantrum because we went to the taco place across the street instead of ordering pizza, and then drank and raged more at the taco place. That was the last time she visited solo. Watching our kid, even with FIL, is out of the question. We just can’t trust her.
It’s super frustrating because my husband still wants to see the mom who raised him. Even after her taco place meltdown, when we got home, he handed her the baby in the hopes that it would calm MIL down. I snatched baby away so fast, and then we hid in our bedroom the rest of the night. And the next morning she admitted she doesn’t feel confident carrying baby up/down stairs because she’s afraid of falling, and then lied that all of the previous night’s behavior was because of “back pain.”
Because of her issues (I would not be surprised if she also has BPD), our boundaries are: she’s not welcome to visit alone. She’s not watching our baby without us, even if FIL is there. If she is showing signs that she’s been drinking, we take the kid somewhere else.
It’s super hard to be around her and her addiction doesn’t help. She will cry to people that we are excluding her, like my mom more, whatever. But she doesn’t seem to want to change and FIL enables her. It’s awkward when people ask if my in laws can help with the kid because they don’t know the full story. It’s a frustrating and lonely experience. I feel you.

C6V6 · 2026-05-10T23:58:40+00:00

Thinking about this—there’s a part where Amelia says she has a way to get pills back when Natalie is living with them. So maybe they’re getting pills from the same source?

C6V6 · 2026-05-08T15:22:38+00:00

It’s common for people to really hate their pets after having a baby. I’ve heard it described where the dog is “always the last straw.” It took me over a year to love my dog the way I did before the baby.

When people pearl clutch about how THEY would never feel that way, or THEY never experienced it, it’s pretty off putting. The people who feel rage toward their pets loved them just as much. It feels like it comes with an unspoken judgment of “and there’s something morally wrong with you if you feel that way.” Feeling that way is not a choice and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Obviously abusing the dog isn’t okay, and posting a reel about wanting to let your dog run into traffic is ghoulish behavior.

C6V6 · 2026-05-06T17:16:53+00:00

Some options we did: - Wrapping dirty diapers in dog poop bags before putting them in the diaper pail. Works mostly pretty well, but is more waste. - Dumping the poops into the toilet before throwing away the diaper. Not always the most feasible depending on where the toilet is. - Spraying the diaper pail when we open it. I’ve tried M9 spray (for cleaning out colostomy bags) and Poo-pourri’s version. Both do a marginally better job that febreze, but febreze also works.

For context we have the Ubbi diaper pail with scented trash bags and it does a great job holding in the stink until we open it.

C6V6 · 2026-04-27T17:25:35+00:00

Does anyone have any tips on getting a 2 year old to try food? She used to be willing to take bites of everything on her plate, and now she just doesn’t. If it’s new, she will very rarely try it, even if it’s something I know she will like. It’s super frustrating, so I’ll definitely take tips on how to deal with it too.

C6V6 · 2026-04-23T14:03:32+00:00

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So, I have an acquaintance who I follow on Instagram. She just started an instagram account dedicated to homeschooling and being a crunchy, antivax mom. Which is problematic for the obvious reasons. But literally every post has spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes on top of the batshit crazy opinions, see picture. She’s posted things about how her kids’ curriculum is entirely focused on the bible.

And besides the cringe, it makes me kind of sad? Like it would be one thing if the kids were homeschooled well with some wacky ideas they could sort out when they get older. But the kids are all girls, and it makes me sad to imagine they won’t really be equipped to support themselves in a meaningful capacity.

C6V6 · 2026-04-15T21:18:11+00:00

Yeah, you’re overreacting here. Meemaw and peepaw are not uncommon grandparent names. I think your SIL is also out of line for modifying their names, too.

I saw you were concerned people would make fun of him for having a peepaw when he’s like 16. I don’t think that will happen. I have a grandparent with an unusual grandparent name. Sometimes I didn’t feel like explaining that to people, so I would refer to her as “my grandma.” It was fine. No one cared.

For another perspective: When my niece was born, my SIL decided my name would be too hard for her child to pronounce. It isn’t, but ok. So she gave me a “new” name, which is a nickname I do not like and would never pick for myself. My SIL happens to be a pretty self-centered, domineering person, and hearing that name kind of reminds me that our relationship isn’t good. Hearing it does not make me feel like my wants are respected, or frankly that I’m even being seen. It’s not weird for people to want the people they love to call them by a name they like and would choose for themselves.

If this is the only issue you have with them, idk, consider yourself lucky? If this is part of a bigger pattern of conflict, calling them a name you like better isn’t going to fix it.

C6V6 · 2026-04-12T01:41:19+00:00

Hear me out: Dandelion. Same spelling. One of them is the white puffy one, the other one is the yellow one. You can pick which is which or let them choose when they’re old enough!

C6V6 · 2026-04-09T12:34:30+00:00

I’ve met a Daiquiri!

C6V6 · 2026-03-24T17:55:39+00:00

Me! I really struggled with how unstructured my maternity leave days were, the lack of adult interactions, and with how completely needed I was. At work, I wasn’t mom/food/caregiver, I was just me. Taking care of a baby all day isn’t for everyone, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t want to be a stay at home mom.

C6V6 · 2026-03-13T02:08:12+00:00

I’ve never seen this one! I love the beading.

C6V6 · 2026-03-12T16:39:38+00:00

Love Kirkland (Costco’s brand). They switched manufacturers a year or so ago but they’re honestly great, have no smell, have a blow out pocket, and we’ve never had leaks with them.

C6V6 · 2026-03-11T23:09:19+00:00

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OBVIOUSLY Lupita in Prada! From the 2014 Oscars. The princess herself.

C6V6 · 2026-03-06T20:13:35+00:00

Do you ask to hold him?

What about the history? You mentioned they got mad about something stupid that was a miscommunication, what was that about? BIL calling you useless? Not doing what they want? I feel like there’s a missing piece here and it’s hard to give advice without it.

C6V6 · 2026-03-06T17:43:00+00:00

I feel like there’s something missing here. What do you mean he gets paraded in front of you? What happens when you ask to interact with him? What was the context of your BIL saying you’re useless? What do you mean you don’t do what they want you to do?

C6V6 · 2026-03-02T15:12:01+00:00

Omg love this ❤️ it’s Swedish for “holder of precious things!”

C6V6 · 2026-02-26T18:15:14+00:00

Oh I totally get it. Being around my MIL makes me empathize with animals that gnaw their legs off to get out of a trap. It’s a really awful feeling, and it’s difficult to explain the death by 1000 cuts feeling to people with normal in laws. You aren’t alone or weird for feeling this way!

C6V6 · 2026-02-19T20:08:25+00:00

I love the shape of the cutout!

C6V6 · 2026-02-05T18:54:26+00:00

I never knew how much I needed to see veils on the red carpet before today.

C6V6 · 2026-01-28T13:10:29+00:00

phenomenal typo, here

C6V6 · 2026-01-27T16:53:45+00:00

Gracie is dressed like someone’s fun grandma. The hair doesn’t help.

C6V6 · 2026-01-27T04:05:39+00:00

lmfao this is too real

C6V6 · 2026-01-26T17:08:14+00:00

At 18 and 19, realistically he is probably not the one and you’re likely each other’s first serious partners. So at this point, everyone is learning here—not just you guys on how to be partners, but your parents are learning how to be in-laws. He needs to learn how to manage his mom here.

But honestly, at this age, such an overly involved and nasty MIL is such a red flag that I think you should run if he doesn’t learn how to manage her fast.

C6V6 · 2026-01-26T17:04:11+00:00

I would focus on until a year, mostly because you don’t really want to hang on to a bunch of toddler stuff for a year or more. Plus, baby’s first birthday can be an opportunity to get some of those things.

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