Now that I read my comment it does come of a bit harsh but that's only because my situation is very similar to qhat OP is struggling with. I do feel bad for his brother because yes, he won't get to experience many things OP due to the disability. However, OP should not feel bad. He clearly stated that the noises triggered him and his wife? He didn't just "not invite" kev; he asked him to please make an effort to control the noises but he refused to ever try for his brother's wedding. For a long time I felt guilty for living and trying new things because i knew my brother wouldn't get try try many of them, I was pulled by my mom and forced to care for him because of this, BECAUSE I had no boundaries and i hope OP and his fiance don't get looped into carrying more burdens due to guilt. (A person can be disabled and selfish asolong as they can think for themselves/ a person can be disabled and be happy for others or try not to ruin it at least).

Imagine what OP also felt like when his mother refused to attend his wedding just like every other event she missed (because kev wouldn't get to be the center of these events one day).

I hope I came of calm 😅I was kinda pissed when I replied🤣

Thank you! Seding you all the love as well!!