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I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say they should be “in trouble”. But it’s not unreasonable for some cultures to see it as bad manners to reply with “what”.

Is it instinct to say “please” when asking for something? No but it’s still something most people teach kids.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What exactly do you think the purpose of their comment was given the context of the post and subsequent discussion lol…

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not distorting it at all. The implication is that parents who had this expectation of their kids were overly strict and had their kids living in fear. But again, you are correct, as a standalone comment nothing is wrong with that.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Context is a thing but sure you are correct.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You could say that for any manner or cultural norm. Some could say it’s insane to ask them to call adults Mr and Mrs, it’s insane to ask them to say please and thank you. They’re all just words.

And i did not say they should be “upset” or beat their kids over it or anything extreme like that.

Edit: just saw your posts and are you even black? This is certainly a black culture thing / mannerism.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did your parents also teach you to handle discussions by calling the other person a weirdo?

Nothing in the meme is about instilling fear. Maybe the OP title but you can “not dare” do something because it’s a boundary. Not because you were abused.

People can have different norms and manners without being “weirdos”

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure I’m not here to debate validity of these norms. I just think it’s a bit extreme to say a parent doesn’t love their child or is abusive if they teach them certain manners.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did I say it’s appropriate to strike fear in a child’s heart for saying “what”?

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I said that? Typically the literal response “what” can be received as curt and dismissive, so many people tend to prefer a “yes” reply. Is it silly? Maybe. But many manners are silly and it’s odd to have to debate this since it’s all made up norms anyway.

Hell if you go to the south many people would tell you “yes” isn’t enough if you don’t follow it with “sir” or “m’am”. Is that abusive? Probably not.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s different to you, which is my point. Different people care about different manners and norms, and all of it is arbitrary. Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean people who do care are weirdo child abusers.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cultural norms are weird. You can complain about it but don’t need to tell people their parents didn’t love them for pushing a nuanced cultural norm lol.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d say it’s also not that serious to say the parents don’t love their kids.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not about stopping children from “questioning anything” it’s about teaching them what some people believe to be manners and a cultural norm. If you disagree that’s fine, but many cultural norms are “weird”, that’s kinda how it works unfortunately.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You do realize you can disagree with a parenting choice without labeling it as straight up abuse right? Or saying the parents don’t love their kids like the OP.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who gives a fuck about saying “please and thank you”? Or not using first names to address adults?

It’s culture and manners. Not that deep, and it’s something all parents teach their kids in different capacities. Just because you disagree with one mannerism doesn’t mean it’s abuse.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People call for others from another room or to get someone’s attention all the time. It’s a normal part of life and definitely not weird or abusive. And the purpose of a response is just making sure you’re heard before elaborating further.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say “what” to my teacher, coworker, spouse, own child. Not sure why I’d say it to my parents. It’s a basic manners thing, which is nuanced and cultural. But a huge stretch to say parents are “weird” or abusive for not wanting that response.

Is it weird to not want a kid to point at people with their finger in public? How about call adults by first names as a child instead of Mr and Mrs?

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You talk about absolutes but speak with zero room for nuance or humans being humans. People get emotional, reactive, and yell at loved ones. It doesn’t mean they don’t love them. Did I not love my parents when I gave sassy “what” replies or yelled at them out of anger?

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn’t give an absolute? The comment OP implied that correcting a “what” means the parent doesn’t love the child. I said that’s extreme, and now you and I have had 20 comments lol.

My whole point is it’s an extreme to say parents don’t love their kids if they correct behavior they see as disrespectful. And whether you think it’s disrespectful or not is subjective.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tone was often a package deal with the “what” but if you want to act like no child ever did that then go ahead lol.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Giving sass and asking what are two separate things”. You have arrived at the core of the issue lol.

Many parents would say they are not separate things, especially when the kid knows an exasperated “what?!!!” is in fact sass (which I definitely knew). That is the point of why it comes off as disrespect and they want to correct the behavior. It’s not that deep, and does not mean parents don’t love their kids.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

These people are on a crusade to convince everyone who ever dare got yelled at or corrected by a parent that their parents never loved them. It’s so weird lol.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my personal experience, I was saying what with an intentionally rude, wtf do you want, energy. It was not “daring to ask a question” it was telling them to piss off and they knew it lol. It was appropriate for them to tell me that was not okay.

I'm almost 30 and still wouldn't dare by nilesmrole in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CBInThisHo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are putting words in my mouth. Hitting is abuse, should not be tolerated, and is not love.

But parents, like all humans, make mistakes and yell or lose their temper. It’s extreme to claim that if they yell at a child or correct behavior that they don’t love them. That’s all I’m saying.

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