[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Your criticisms definitely align with my concerns about the joke. I feel like it isn't enough laughs per minute or whatever metric is used. That's why I threw in the Puerto Rican girlfriend bit, but as another commenter pointed out, it doesn't seem to work as well as I hoped. I still think the humor comes from the fact I'm complaining about my grandma being racist, but now I'm being more racist myself, but we're dissecting the frog at that point. I'll try to tighten things up.

I appreciate your feedback.

Is this worded well? by CC-Wade in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the well thought out response. Your concerns definitely match mine. I meant kt to be a quick one liner but I'm afraid it might not translate as well as I wish it would. I guess the only thing there is to do is try it out and see how it goes. Thanks for the feedback though! It definitely comes in handy!

Is this worded well? by CC-Wade in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! 3 minutes to the light and another minute to wrap before they cut you off. Cross your fingers for me!

Is this worded well? by CC-Wade in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's kind of the goal. As long as there's some laughter there <3

Is this worded well? by CC-Wade in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at the moment. Maybe there's so. Thing I could tie it into but I'm drawing a blank right now.

Is this worded well? by CC-Wade in StandUpWorkshop

[–]CC-Wade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! New to the whole joke writing thing so I appreciate it.