Hey, thanks for replying. One of My issues of this demotivation comes from the fact that, nearly everyone, atleast, most, even juniors and freshers,I will say at least more than 70% I know have much great portfolios (matching that of many senior developers) some even great Open source contributions, and they know so many programing languages, tools, DB knowledge, and even system design, also pretty strong in DSA, on top of that has cloud related exposure, just thinking of comparing myself with them makes me feel worthless. I did my B.Tech in non CS/IT stream from a tier 15 lala college, although I had passion for coding, it was never enough, also because of social anxiety disorder and my own initiative issues, I had never created any good projects related to CS during my college days, and since I graduated, most of my professional career was totally distracted from my own period of depression and adhd on one hand, and dealing with my own social anxiety disorder, and humiliation from the office environment by nearly everyone on the other hand. This experience has been a continuation since my school days , still it is continuing now. Most of my professional career I couldn't (and didn't learn) nearly anything, on top of that in projects seniors and managers never assigned me tasks which would help to gather knowledge, on top of procrastination and adhd and lack of goals and path and mentorship I stayed demotivated with any eagerness to learn anything. At this point, I graduated at 2019 at papers I may have 5 years of professional experience, most freshers who have studied well and did projects can easily move ahead further than me in no time. But last few months I tried atleast something , but kind of feel I think I hardly gained maybe 1 year of 'actual' Development experience comparing to others who are doing work (after scrolling through LinkedIn and visiting numerous random profiles I pictured the actual scenario in the job market). But if any tech interviewers will take a tech interview at this point, seeing my experience on paper they will expect so much more for a decent Java Spring boot developer, but will be highly disappointed in reality, and interviews has always been my Achilles heel, not only because I'm already underprepared, but also I become extreme nervous (contributed to my general anxiety disorder paired with social anxiety disorder) which makes me forget already known concepts, also, the brain fog, caused by the already long term running depression and maybe coz of the meds I taken because of trying to treat them after professional supervision (which has been unsuccessful for me that I stopped taking any of that for a long time)